Collapsed
by Lilacheart
Summary: After a major battle in post-apocalyptic Hanshin leaves two members of the group dead, the remaining two have to decide where to go, what to do, and ultimately decide what their goals are.
1. Chapter 1

Collapse(d)

Chapter One

_**Authors note: This story is written from Syaoran's point of view. One thing I want to clear up: I am NOT a yaoi shipper. The relationships in this story between Syaoran, Fai, and Kurogane are not yaoi, it's more of a "I need my friends or I swear my head is going to implode" sort of situation. I can't really say much more without ruining the premise of the story. I do not read Tsubasa online, so I probably have some of the facts wrong. Anyway, I hope you like it! ^_^**_

The large sybol appeared at my feet before we were all dropped into a giant heap. I was at the bottom this time, instead of the usual unlucky Kurogane. And Sakura, as usual, was on top, if you don't include Mokona, who landed on her head. "We've arrived in the next world!" It declared.

"This landing was a little better," Kurogane grunted.

"For you, maybe," I retorted, trying to get myself out from the bottom of the dog pile. Sakura stood up, and Kurogane struggled to get his footing without stepping on my head. Sakura helped Fai regain his balance as he stood, then she held out her hand to help me up. I nodded my thanks and took it, and she pulled me to my feet. I remembered she had fallen unconcious in the last world we'd gone to, stealing the feather from a library. It was good to see that she recovered quickly from it.

I looked around, trying to ignore the fact I was holding Sakura's hand, or, more or less, she was tightly gripping mine as we both looked around. I tensed. This place was a wreck.

The buildings had all toppled over, some piles of rubble, others on their sides, majority had only their bases remaining. There were scattered blood stains all over the ground. There was also silver-blue stains by the red blood stains. However, there were no bodies.

I grabbed my stomach with my free hand.

Sakura had her hand on her throat, and she was gagging.

"Give us a moment," I whispered, and I walked Sakura behind a building. She fell to the floor and lost whatever she had eaten for dinner the day before. I didn't look, I just lightly tried not to do the same. After that, she stood up.

"This is horrible," she finally stated. "I know," I agreed. "I want to know what those silver blue stains are...and at the same time, I kind of don't." She nodded agreement.

We walked back over to Fai and Kurogane, who were observing the area.

"Is it night or day?" I asked as I looked up at the sky. It was covered in dark grey clouds, and the area around us was a grey-black color, which made me assume it was a dull twilight. Mind you, Fai, however, shook his head. "I think it's morning. About 9:00 A.M."

"What makes you think that?" Kurogane asked, casting him a glance.

"Just a feeling," Fai admitted with a light shrug. When he had 'a feeling,' it was usually right.

"It's too bad that we're in a wrecked world. I was hoping we'd be able to treat some of Syaoran-kun's wounds," Fai muttered. I glanced down at my feet, trying to remember what had happened when the watch dog had brushed me aside. I couldn't recall, no matter how hard I tried, so I gave up.

Sakura took a tentative step forward, as if worried something would jump out at her.

A bright red-orange streak caught my eye from around a corner, coming right towards us. Instantly, I darted in front of Sakura, holding an arm out in front of her as she jumped back in surprise from the coming creature.

My arm dropped as I recognized the creature, and my eyes widened.

I knew who this was. It was my Kudan.

It screeched to a halt, resting its head against my side as I kneeled down to its height. I didn't remember my Kudan having a name at any point, so I didn't know how to address it.

"...Thank God, you're back..." It whispered. I found my voice.

"What happened here?" I asked. I cautiously ran my hand across it's back, silently hoping my hand didn't catch fire. Of course, it didn't.

"Everything," it gasped. Suddenly, it's head shot around in the direction it had come, and I looked up. There was a large group of tall, strong looking men running towards my Kudan.

"What the hell are they-" Kurogane began.

And then they were followed by what looked like radioactive, oversized drooling beasts.

My Kudan, who seemed to have been afraid, stood a little taller.

"Welcome back, Syaoran," my Kudan said. "Get ready to fight for your life."

I glanced back at Sakura, who was cowering behind Kurogane.

"What happened here?" I hissed. "How long have I been gone!?"

"One hundred and twenty eight years. I know time flows differently in each dimension, but I would've thought you'd at least grow a little taller."

"Are you calling me short?" I asked, in awe at how my Kudan could comment on my height when we were about to be killed. Or at least, that's what it seemed might happen, anyway.

Before it could respond, of course, the men stopped in front of us. The one in the lead stepped forward. He was a tall man with spiked black hair. He was wearing goggles around his neck, and there was a small, clear talisman just in view below the goggles. It was glowing a hollow shade of grey. His eyes were dark red, and I noticed they didn't look human. He appeared to be about twenty three, maybe younger.

He burst out laughing. "The owner of a special Kudan is just a little kid!?" He asked, all of his men laughing with him.

I didn't know how suddenly I was short, or little. I'd never been called this, in any world I'd went to.

"I'm sixteen!" I snapped.

"That man is the youngest one who lives here. He's twenty two," my Kudan whispered urgently. "All of the children are dead, because-"

My Kudan didn't have time to explain, because the man was walking towards me. I took about three paces back.

"You're going to have to fight," my Kudan growled.

"I know, but first I want to know what they're doing," I admitted.

"Are you from a foreign country? A deserted island? Are you seriously telling me you don't know!?" The man said. He sounded playful and teasing at first, then he started yelling.

"I don't know, now back off!" I snapped, suddenly getting angry. Of course I didn't know! This was just frustrating now. The aura that surrounded this place was getting on my nerves.

"Nuclear war infected all of this world's inhabitants," my Kudan explained, speaking quickly as we faced down the opponents and their hideously mutated kudans. "The only way to survive this radiation it to kill the other humans and eat their blood, soul, or kudan."

"What happened to their kudan, then?" I asked as the whole group started to walk forward. We had about three seconds to finish this up.

"It mutated with them. Are you fighting or not!?"

The five oversized monsters leapt at us. I jumped back, flames swirling all around me. Where were Kurogane and Fai's Kudan? I didn't know if Sakura would have one. If kudans could be eaten, maybe something had happened to Kurogane's and Fai's?

A monster slashed it's oversized claws at my left side, and I caused its paw to burst into flames just as a second paw nailed me in the right side, my blind side, and sent me flying into a building.

That explained what had happened to the buildings here.

I fell to the floor and regained my footing just as the monsters were on top of me again.

A large pair of talons all of a sudden carried one of the attackers away from me and threw it against an opposite building. I recognized the large bird as Fai's Kudan.

Now I wasn't alone in this fight.

I swung around, and my kudan burst into flames and launched itself right at the nearest monster while I dodged the attacks of the leader's kudan.

Fai didn't come over to me, instead, he stayed back with Sakura and Kurogane and protected them (much to Kurogane's fury. He couldn't fight these things alone and he knew it.)

A large, oversized slobbering dog looking Kudan suddenly grabbed me in it's teeth. Obviously, it wasn't aiming to kill me just yet, or otherwise, I might've been dead. Instead, it lifted me off the ground.

"Syaoran!" I heard Sakura scream.

My Kudan ditched the monster it was fighting and disappeared, rematerializing around my arm as a ball of flame. The creature slowly sunk it's teeth deeper into my stomach. I screamed, and my kudan formed into a sword around my right arm. I slashed it across this creature's muzzle, and it dropped me.

Fai appeared next to me and grabbed my arm, and only then did I realize I was really far off the ground.

"This sucks," I complained. He nodded. "It does," and he leapt back down, as my kudan created a flame panel beneath me for me to stand on.

As I headed back towards the floor, I noticed the gang leader was approaching Sakura.

"Sakura!" I called to her as I slashed the flame sword down this man's back. I heard something underground roar in fury...

Then his Kudan suddenly exploded from the ground (I hadn't even noticed it digging,) and grabbed my foot in its huge claws. I stabbed right through it, and the man darted after Sakura.

I held back the urge to panic and swear.

"Blaze!" I yelled, and somehow, my Kudan knew it was talking to it, as it turned to look at me. I don't know why I'd called it that, I'd just needed to call it _something._

"Protect Sakura!" I ordered.

It looked torn.

"Please!" I begged, and I think for a moment, the calm persona I was trying to keep dropped. I was freaking out. Sakura couldn't get hurt. I'd promised to protect her, right?

It seemed to understand and leapt forward as I darted for the nearest area of safety. The monsters had split up. Two were attacking Kurogane, Fai, and his kudan, two were after me, and one, the leader, was after Sakura and my Kudan.

Of course I couldn't outrun the monsters. I unsheathed Hien, which burst into flames, and I drove it as hard as I could into the monster's front right foot. The kudan didn't react. What surprised me, however, was that it's master did. He faltered and winced, grabbing his right arm and stifling a yelp. I yanked the sword out and the man cried out, his grip tightening on his wrist as blood started to come out of his arm, though there was no wound.

This didn't help me, too much, because there was still one monster trying to kill me. It grabbed at my arm and lifted me off the ground. I heard the sound of my shoulder coming out of it's socket, and I gasped in pain. It closed it's bird-like beak around my arm, and I heard the sound of the bone snapping. I tried not to scream. I could handle this. (...No, I couldn't, but that's what I told myself.)

I grabbed the sword, which I was holding in my opposite hand, and drove it...into the creatures nose.

Which subsequently caused it's master's nose to explode.

Oops.

The monster dropped me, and this time, I figured getting down safely was up to me.

Suddenly, a flaming platform appeared under my feet.

"Blaze!" I snapped, though inwardly, I was sighing in relief. Getting safely down would've been impossible, I wasn't that stupid.

"You're my master, you're my priority," it reasoned.

Instantly, I ignored the pain searing in my arm and charged towards Sakura, being followed by one monster as the other man's kudan tried to figure out what to do while its master writhed on the floor screaming about his nose.

"Did you do that?" It asked.

"Yes," I said.

"...I've always wanted to do that," it admitted.

"I would've prefered you then me," I panted as I ran, jumping to avoid the monster's claws as it swiped at my legs.

"Why do you keep calling me Blaze, anyway?" It asked, though it sounded like it knew the answer.

"Because you don't have a name that I know of," I responded. "And I need to be able to address you somehow." I was speaking between breaths, but Blaze seemed like he wasn't wearing out at all.

"I do have a name," he replied after some thought. I glanced at him as he smirked.

"It's Blaze."

I smirked lightly, but that disappeared as I screeched to a halt. The leader's monster had Sakura under it's paw and was crushing her as it slowly put it's weight on her back.

I didn't control my next attack. It seemed to erupt out of desperation by itself.

I held up my hands and screamed "Raitei Shorai!!!!"

Lightning crackled and exploded towards the monster on top of her. It hit the monster dead on.

It's master fell to the ground, screaming, but the monster jolted its paw sharply downward, and there was the loud crack of what might of been Sakura's back breaking.

"SAKURA!!!" I screamed, and at my will, my Kudan leapt at the monster, hitting it full in the side, and the flames around it grew larger then I'd ever seen them. The monster, staggered sideways, then dug one its claw through Sakura's back. This claw snapped off as it then swatted her limp body in my direction. I caught her.

I got onto my knees on the ground and put her down in front of me, putting my hands on her shoulders. My Kudan put up a flame barrier, buying us some time.

"Sakura..." I whispered, and I felt fear grip my heart as I examined the the tip of the claw from her back wound poking through her stomach.

She couldn't survive this. I couldn't even fool myself into thinking she could.

"Sakura!" The next time I said this, my voice was choked with tears. As gently as possible, I shook her back and forth. "Please, answer me!" I felt tears welling up in my eyes.

Her eyes opened, but they were glazed over. "Sy--Syaoran, is that you?" She asked, her voice a barely audible whisper.

Suddenly, the battlefield around me seemed to disappear. I don't know what happened, and at the time, I didn't care. We were either in limbo or my brain completely zoned out everything. More likely the latter.

"Yes," I murmured, forcing myself not to grip her shoulders harder. This couldn't be happening.

"What...happened...? Where..." She began.

"...You were stabbed," I whispered. I couldn't lie to her. She gasped for breath, and I wondered if the claw had hit one of her lungs as she coughed out blood.

"Am...I going to die?"

Most people would consider this a dumb question. She truly didn't know. Her thoughts had probably been clouded. I didn't know how to answer. I wanted to say no. I wished the answer was no. But...

"...I think so," I choked out, wondering if she could see the tears that were in my eyes right now. I guess she did, because I felt her delicate hand touch my side of my face. I wondered how she'd found the energy to lift that arm at all.

"It'll be OK," she whispered. "I'm alright. Accompany Fai and Kurogane. You can go on without me."

"You can't die..." I found myself saying as I started to shiver.

"Syaoran...before...I die...I...wanted to say..." Her breaths grew shorter. I tensed.

"I love you, Syaoran." I had to read her lips to understand her words. Her arms jerked as she tried to move them. It was horrible to see her like this. Finally, her arms wrapped around my neck.

'I love you too, Sakura." I forced the words from my mouth. It was true, but I'd never been able to say it. Now I wished I'd said it earlier. Why couldn't have I said this to her before she was dying in front of me?

She sighed in content, as if her knowing I felt the same made everything better. And her eyes drifted shut.

"Thank you...for everything." And her breathing stopped.

"Sakura..." My voice quivered. "Anything but this...anyone but her..." I bit my lip so hard it bled. I wanted to scream. Her name, swear words...anything.

Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I didn't even look up to see who it was, or notice that the flame barrier had dropped. I heard a voice behind me.

"Syaoran-kun?" It was Fai's voice. I cast a look back at him. There were tears in his eyes too. "It's over," He said, probably referring to the battle.

"She's gone," I coughed out, trying to stop myself from wimpering, finding some way to contain the pent up emotions.

"Not just her." I could see him trying to find a way to break whatever he needed to say to me delicately.

I worked it out first. "Where's Kurogane!?"

He fell silent. He unwrapped Sakura's arms from my neck and lay her down as if she were more delicate then glass before he dropped Kurogane's sword into my hands.

There was a long silence, and I turned to face where the men had been, looking for the monsters and their even worse masters. They were all walking away from the scene. They'd taken lives. That what they'd been here for, and they'd accomplished their goal.

My fist tightened around the sword.

"If it makes you feel any better, Kurogane wanted you to avenge Sakura," I heard Fai mutter, somehow encouragingly.

I stood upright and ran towards the men. I had never run so fast before, and I could hear the sound of my Kudan's pawsteps beside me. The lead man who'd killed Sakura didn't even know what had hit him before I had driven Kurogane's sword through his chest. He fell, probably dead before he had hit the ground.

"Get out of here!" I screamed at the staring men. With no one to turn to for directions, they all ran away like the cowards they were. I took the pendant from the dead man's neck, deciding it was of some importance, and that I should ask my Kudan what it was later. It was swirling with a silver material, opposite of the empty grey it had been earlier.

I walked back, my feet feeling heavy, my Kudan walking somberly next to me.

As I stopped in front of Fai, I quietly asked "Where's Mokona?" I wanted to get out of there.

"Here," I heard it's tiny voice say, hidden somewhere in Fai's kudan's feathers. I shot a glance at Fai. "Does it know?"

He shook his head. Mokona was going to bawl, I knew it. It'd made fun of Kurogane, but the two were...well, not exactly close, but they hadn't hated each other, that was for sure.

I looked around for Kurogane, wiping tears from my eyes, only to have then quickly replaced. Kurogane was splattered in blood. His eyes were open, but empty of all color and emotion. There was a large wound in his chest, and his side.

"...Why did it have to be Kurogane and Sakura?" I asked, noticing for the first time that I'd dropped honorifics.

"..." Fai clearly didn't know how to respond or how to comfort me, as he was clearly beyond upset, and I was clearly beyond all consolation.

"What happened!?" Mokona squeaked, suddenly alarmed as it leapt out of the bird's feathers.

"Mokona, get us out of here," I choked out desperately. We didn't need to start bawling here, as much as I wanted to. Who knew how many more gangs were out there?

My kudan walked next to me. "...Do you think it'd be alright if I came along?" It requested nervously, and it's voice stayed at a wimper, too, because, it might've still been connected to my soul.

"Yes," Fai answered for me. He also nodded at his Kudan. The kudan lowered its head in respect, to whom, I wasn't sure.

I turned around and picked up Sakura's body. It was growing colder by the moment. And this time, I knew there was no way to save her.

What would happen to the quest for her feathers? It was probably gone, along with her. And we weren't trying to get to Japan anymore.

I didn't know what I was out here for anymore.

I kept my back to Mokona. "Get us out of here," I repeated. Fai stood in front of Kurogane, obviously trying to be sure Mokona didn't see him.

"Did something happen?" It asked, tears welling in its eyes.

"Don't think about it, let's get somewhere safe," Fai said, momentarily discarding his feelings to keep Mokona sane. I had nothing to say as Mokona jumped into the air and inhaled us all. As it did, my Kudan swirled in a fireball in front of my chest.

"I'm sorry," I heard it say. "I failed..."

"...It had nothing to do with you. It was me," I assured it silently as it entered my heart and we all got inhaled.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

We all landed in an empty forest. Instantly Mokona ran to Sakura, who I still held in my arms.

"Sakura!!" It screamed. "Sakura!!!"

"She's dead," I whispered, choking back tears. "So is Kurogane."

"SAKURA!! KUROGANE!!!" Mokona yelled at the top of it's lungs, breaking down into a miserable wreck. This is exactly how I felt.

I put two fingers on Sakura's neck, hoping to feel a pulse. There was nothing. We were all crying. Mokona was hugging Fai's ankle and bawling into his pant leg. Fai had his eyes shut, and he was facing away from me. I just stared at the ground, my hands balled into tense fists at my sides. Eventually, I screamed, swung around, and forcefully punched a tree with my working arm. The bark scratched up my hand, but I didn't care. My broken arm hung limp at my side. I fell to my knees, resting my head against the tree, not looking at anyone. I felt Fai put his hand on my shoulder.

"I...I need to be alone," I said, and for a moment, I thought maybe two people had said that, but there was no one else there, so I figured I was hearing things.

Fai didn't look hurt. Instead, he nodded, and turned around, disappearing through the trees.

I stood, walked over to Sakura's body, and hugged her. Yes. I was hugging a corpse. But what could I do? I loved her, and now she was dead. I cried a little bit, too, and whispered stuff to her. (Though lots of people would probably think I was talking to myself.) I guess that's why I wanted to be alone. To say a proper goodbye to Sakura. As proper as it could get, anyway.

"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you," I whispered to her, as if she could hear me. For all I knew, her soul was back in the last dimension. But I had to say it. "I love you, I'm sorry I couldn't say it sooner. You were a good girl, you didn't deserve to die. I hope wherever your soul goes, you find happiness."

Blaze materialized beside me. "Well said," he murmured, before nosing the pendant out of my pocket.

"You might want to proceed to breaking that."

I cocked my head, wiping the tears from my eyes as I put Sakura down. "Why?"

"...Kurogane's soul's trapped in it. The gang was going to destroy it for energy, but since no one is wearing it, it's just trapped."

My eyes widened slightly as I realized what might've happened, then I picked up the amulet. "If I leave him in there, he'll kill me," I laughed half-heartedly. I held it out to my kudan, who set the very tip on fire. The whole pendant shattered with a small sharp crack. The silver energy floated out of the pendant, then formed into a human shape...

"Kurogane...?" I asked, cocking my head nervously. It looked like him, but I wasn't planning on getting my hopes up.

He stared at me for a moment, then said "Thanks, kid."

I bit my lip. "I killed the one who killed Sakura. Was that the right thing to do...?"

"...Yup."

Had I been expecting him to say something else? Not really.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered, covering my eyes in case I started crying. I guess he noticed that, because he sighed.

"Don't look down. Only look ahead," he muttered.

"Irony is, you first told me that in Hanshin," I said, digging my fingers into my palms.

And then he slapped me.

"Stop dwelling on the past, kid!" He snapped. "I'm dead, there's nothing you can do about that. Look forward. While you're at it..." I cocked my head. It was kind of hard to be sad that he was dead when he was talking to me, but I had a feeling I'd be crying later.

"When you next see that magician, tell him that he needs to tell you the whole truth. What he's running from, why...I mean _everything._ If you're going to be stuck with him, you need to know exactly why he's running."

I gave a slight nod, and I heard the leaves rustle, but I ignored it, noting something in my mind before I spoke. "But...what am I supposed to do?" I glanced at Sakura.

"That's easy: keep the magician out of trouble." I smirked half-heartedly, then took a deep breath.

"Kurogane...? Thanks. You were kind of like my father...in a more...violent way...and you taught me how to fight with a sword. It may seem stupid, but it means a lot to me. Thank you."

He smirked. "I might want to suggest getting that claw out of the girl's back, if you can stomach doing that."

I shook my head. "Probably not."

"Well, depends, the girl's soul might be trapped in it. Seems like souls could be trapped easily in the last world we went to." I nodded. Then he knelt down and put his hand next to my blind eye.

"What are you...?" I asked, but before I could finish, he stood up.

"...Looks like that seal is no longer needed," He muttered. "Kid's grown a heart."

"What are you talking about...?" I asked, suddenly wondering if he knew something I didn't.

"It's not important. It's best left unknown." He put his hand on my head. "You're a good kid. Take care of yourself, alright?"

"...I will," I said, keeping my voice strong. And he disappeared as the wind blew.

I blinked back tears. I still had one last thing to do. I turned around and faced Sakura.

"Any chance her soul could be in that claw?" I asked Blaze, glancing at him.

"...I'd almost guaruntee it. Do you have the courage to talk to her, if by chance, her soul comes out and talks to you?"

I shook my head. "No, but I have to." Putting a hand on her shoulder, I flipped her onto her back, just as Fai came back.

"What are you doing?" He asked, walking over to me.

"You know," I said. "You were watching the whole thing. I heard you tense when Kurogane said you needed to tell me everything."

He sighed deeply. "I'll get back to you on that. Come on." He helped me get a grip on the claw and we both pulled until the claw came free. I didn't look at the blood I knew was pouring out of Sakura's body as I turned to face Blaze. I held the claw down to him, and he put his paw on top of it. It burst into flames, and a second shape began to form out of the burning claw. I breathed in sharply.

Sakura's spirit threw her arms around me. I didn't know how to respond, so I just hugged her back and we stayed there silently for about three minutes. Fai stayed quiet, probably knowing this was hard for both of us.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"You've got nothing to be sorry about," I answered quietly.

"And nor do you, so stop scolding yourself."

"Spirits can hear you even when captive, you know," Blaze said. I didn't have anything to add to that.

"Listen, I know it sounds corny, but I'll always be with you. Even when you change dimension. I'll always be there. Don't worry about me, OK?" She whispered. I felt myself getting emotional. I looked away. However, she turned my head to face her.

"Being sad is fine, Syaoran. I'm sad. I'm not hiding it." She gave a light shrug, and I realized there were tears in her eyes.

"Here," She whispered, and then she kissed me.

Ah, being slapped and kissed by dead people. Good times. (I'm being sarcastic.)

I kissed her back. We did not break any world records, so don't go off and be sick just yet. Or maybe I broke a record (or the laws of physics) by kissing someone dead, but that's a different story. We parted after three seconds, not three hours, though Mokona might tell you otherwise.

"It's OK to be sad, but you don't need to worry about me." She stood up, and walked over to Fai. "Thanks, you were always like my big brother, Fai." She gave him a hug, and he gave a forced smile and hugged her as well. Then she turned around, bent over, and put her hand on Mokona's head.

"Be good, OK, Mokona? Don't get into trouble."

"Sakura..." It whispered, tears welling in its eyes.

"Thanks, all of you, for everything. Don't worry if you can't see me, I will be there, OK?" She gave a light smile at Blaze. "Take care of Syaoran," she put in with a playful smile. I laughed dryly, if only to please her. The playful smile changed into a sad smile before she disappeared.

"I assume we should bury their bodies somewhere," I heard Blaze mutter. "Syaoran and Fai need their time to grieve. Do you want to help me out, Mokona?" It asked.

"It probably needs its time to grieve, too," I muttered, but Mokona hopped forward.

"Mokona will help," it replied with all the enthusiasm it could muster. It jumped off into the trees behind Blaze.

I glanced up at Fai. "Are you going to tell me what we do now?" I requested. He shook his head.

"I'm still working it out," He admitted. "Be patient, alright? If you can get any sleep, I recommend trying. We'll probably have to bury those two tomorrow." Tears appeared in his eyes. He was hiding his emotions better then mine, but still, he was only human. "Be careful with that arm of yours."

I nodded. "OK," I said, but it came out as a choked up whisper. I cursed myself for being over sentimental, before I scolded myself for scolding myself. My fath--I mean, my mentor, and the one I loved had _died._ If that wasn't a reason for crying, nothing was.

My eyes fell shut. These next few days were going to be long.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

When my eyes next opened, I was in the dream realm. There was a water-like barrier in front of me, and on the other side of it, there was a person that looked like my reflection.

But I knew otherwise.

By the eyepatch, I knew he'd shown up in my dreams once or twice before. Usually, he said my name three to five times, then tried to strangle me before I woke up. This time, he was glaring at me, shaking in rage.

I backed away, finding myself frightened.

Suddenly, the barrier shattered. The one who looked like me wrapped his hand around my neck and smashed me into the wall.

"You let her die!!!" He screamed at me as I tried to get free from his grip.

"I tried to protect her!" I objected as I struggled.

"But it wasn't enough, was it!?" He hissed, tightening his grasp on my neck while I attempted to catch my breath.

"I'm sorry!" I gasped, and slowly, I stopped squirming, hoping that he'd release me eventually.

"You _should _be! I gave up whatever chance I had of freedom to change your next world from Tokyo to somewhere else. I completely regret letting you keep your soul."

"Kurogane-san said something about growing a heart as well. What do you guys know about me that I don't?" I asked, in a panic now. Whoever this person who looked like me was, he seemed to have it out for me now.

"Are you telling me you haven't worked it out, _Syaoran?_ You haven't worked out what I've known all along, and what Kurogane-san and Fai-san have already figured out?" His voice was on the border of fury and mocking.

"Let go of me," I pleaded quietly. He shook his head.

"You haven't figured out that you're just a clone!?"

I stopped, my eyes widening. A clone...?

"You never even had a heart until I gave you one, in the form of my right eye. The one that's blind. The one I've been watching everything from since this journey began."

I stared. This had to just be a nightmare, right?

"The seal on your heart was going to break in your next world, Tokyo. I gave up the magic I needed to free myself from this place to change your world, so you didn't lose your soul. Right now, I wish I'd just sat back and watched it happen! I would've preferred that you became a massive murderer that killed untold billions for Sakura's feathers then her being dead! Even worse is that her soul's following you, and that's exactly what Fei-Wang Reed wants, because if he can't have her body, her soul is the next best option."

My head spun. What in the world was he going on about!? Finally, I found my voice.

"Wait, are you telling me that Fai-san _knew all of this!?_" I asked.

"He knew that you were a clone, yes, and that you only had a heart because it had been given to you."

There was a long silence.

"...Let me go," I hissed. "And you can just break the seal on my eye now. I don't care anymore."

"You have your own heart now, if I broke the seal on your right eye, all it would do is stop me from seeing what's going on around you."

"Then I'll tear it out myself!" I snarled, wrenching myself from his grip and staggering backwards.

"I wouldn't do that. The seal might or might not be able to travel to your other eye. All you would do is make yourself blind."

We just stared at each other.

"Look, if I could change what happened back there, I would. I would've died over Sakura. I'm sure that would've meant nothing to you, right?"

He didn't respond.

"What's done has been done. I can't change it, as much as I want to. You can't bring back the dead."

"...Try telling Fei-Wang Reed that. It's what he's wanted all along."

Before I could ask what he meant, he suddenly cried out, and fell to his knees.

"What the-" I began, when I suddenly felt a jolt on my neck.

I shot upright and found myself looking at Fai.

"Syaoran-kun...are you alright?"

No, I wasn't, but there was enough to worry about around here.

"I'm fine. What was that for?" I asked, rubbing my neck.

"You weren't waking up, so I had to try the magic alternative. Were you having a dream of some sort? What happened?"

Fai seemed genuinely concerned, but I remembered what Syaoran had said. The _real_ Syaoran. Fai had known I was just a fake, an image, a clone, the whole time. Why hadn't he said anything...? What other lies were he hiding?

And who was Fei-Wang Reed? Where was the real me right now? What if that had all been just a dream? Even worse, what if it hadn't? Kurogane had said something that matched what the real Syaoran had said...Why had he not told me? Had Sakura known, too? Was I the only one who didn't know?

"Syaoran-kun?" Fai asked, lightly shaking my shoulder.

"...I don't want to talk about it," I finally said.

"Was it a nightmare about Sakura?" He prompted, looking sympathetic.

"Y-Yeah," I lied. "It was."

"We can bury Kurogane-san and Sakura-chan now. Blaze came back to tell us, but you were already asleep."

I nodded and stood up. "Where's Mokona?"

"In your pocket."

"...Right." I pulled Mokona out of my pocket, and it's eyes opened slightly before it glanced up at me.

"We're going to bury them now," I whispered to it.

"Oh..." Mokona murmured, tears forming in its eyes. I noticed that there were tears in my eyes too.

"It's OK," I murmured, placing it on my dislocated shoulder (it wasn't that heavy,) and putting my hand on its back as it hugged my neck.

As we walked, Mokona glanced up at me and said "something's troubling Syaoran."

I nodded. "Sakura and Kurogane."

"...Something else," It muttered. I tensed.

"It's nothing for you to worry about," I assured it. It didn't seem to believe me, but it dropped the topic for the moment.

We stopped at two deep holes, one looked like it'd been dug by claws, the other...ncha cannoned.

"I slept through a bit," I muttered. I noticed Sakura and Kurogane's bodies beside the holes and shut my eyes, feeling my throat closing up. I muttered a swear word.

"Are you going to help us or not?" Fai asked. I remembered the real me saying "if he can't have her body," and decided that maybe it was best if she was buried. If this 'Fei-Wang Reed' needed her body for something, (whatever that was,) then it was best that he couldn't get it.

"OK," I sighed, trying to breathe properly. I knelt down next to Sakura's body and lowered it into the hole, wincing the entire time. I was having problems imagining being buried. I don't know why. I'd never buried someone dead before. I wondered if that was a normal thought when you buried people. Blaze had to help me, since I only had one arm I could use.

I didn't know what to say, or if I was supposed to say anything. I ended up staying silent. Fai did, too, and I guessed that maybe he thought the same thing.

Blaze glanced up at me. "I might want to do the next part," He muttered. I noticed Fai's bird Kudan swirling by his side. I closed my eyes and looked away, as Blaze and Fai's Kudan pushed the dirt into the holes. I dug my fingers so hard into my wrist that I drew blood. I didn't care.

"Don't mutilate yourself now," Fai said, grabbing my arm and lightly pulling it away from my now bleeding wrist.

"...Does it matter...?" I asked.

He seemed surprised, but he quickly recovered and said "Yes, it does."

"Why...?"

He didn't know how to respond. I stood up and took out Kurogane's sword, driving it through the dirt above Kurogane's grave, as deep as it would go.

"It's his. I shouldn't carry it with me," I said.

Fai gave a short nod before he lowered his fingers to the dirt above Sakura's resting place. A wind picked up around the spot, and a tree started to grow at great speeds above the grave. I just watched. It finished growing in three minutes, and it was about three times taller then me.

"...Is that a Sakura tree...?" I asked. He nodded.

"Yes, it is."

I gave a light nod in return. "I think she'd like that."

Fai put a hand on my shoulder. "...You're troubled. A blind person could figure it out."

My hand instinctively hovered over my right eye.

"No offense," he added.

"None taken," I muttered.

"...What's wrong?"

"I...guess I just don't know what I am anymore. What I'm out here for, my purpose."

"...To keep me out of trouble?" He suggested with a tentative laugh. I smirked.

"...I'm actually talking about my existance and who I am as a person."

He stopped, as if he had worked something out. His eyes narrowed.

I made my way towards the trees, but his hand landed on my shoulder and gripped it tightly. I took a long breath, and what said next was almost inaudible.

"...How long have you known that I'm probably not even real...?"

"You're real, Syaoran-kun," He assured me. "There's no doubt about it."

"Then _why _am I doubting it!?" I asked, biting my tongue really hard. Then I started yelling. "How long have you knofwn that I'm just a clone of someone else!? I shouldn't even exist. I shouldn't even have emotions! I shouldn't even be talking to you, I should probably be trying to kill you! Even the person who gave me a heart regrets letting me keep it!!"

"How do you know all that?" He asked. He was glaring at me, as if daring me to lie to him. I didn't.

"He told me himself. If it weren't for him, I'd be a murderer, and he regrets letting me keep my soul. He believes I let Sakura die, because I wasn't strong enough to protect her! What...What am I supposed to do now!? Where am I supposed to go from here!?"

"...Syaoran-kun, sit down."

I had no choice in the matter. He technically pushed me downwards, with much more force then I knew him for.

"Pull yourself together, alright?" He said, a bit roughly but not uncaringly.

"How can I pull myself together if I was created by someone else for reasons I don't even know about!? For all I know, I wanted to collect the feathers because that's all I was made for, and I have no other purpose in life!"

Fai took a moment to answer. "It doesn't have to be your purpose in life if you don't want it to be."

"Do I even have any control over that? I mean, my destiny's probably been planned out by a mad phscyopath!"

"Stop going for worst case scenario," Fai said, putting a hand on my shoulder. "If your destiny was changed by the one who gave you a soul, then chances are, it's changed for good."

"...I was supposed to lose my soul. Maybe it would be better that way. You wouldn't have lost Sakura or Kurogane. I'd just...I don't know, go insane and start killing people, I heard."

He shook his head. "What's happened has happened. Kurogane said you had a soul now-"

"The only soul I know of is one that's been given to me."

"A soul, whether it's given or it's fake, is still a soul. It was created by Kurogane, Sakura, and everyone who cares about you. Are you really going to let yourself let go of it like this?"

I stayed silent.

"...It's so much easier for you to say," I finally sighed.

"It probably is," Fai agreed quietly.

"...I'm sorry," I whimpered...and then I burst into tears. This was sort of embarrassing, but I'd gone through a lot. I cried for a bit. Fai didn't say much, he just kept his hand on my shoulder and told me I had nothing to be sorry for.

"Kurogane, Sakura, Mokona, nor I think you have anything to apologize for," He said when I'd finally regathered whatever remained of my sanity.

Mokona then leapt onto my non-broken arm. "Syaoran is Syaoran! It doesn't matter who gave him a soul, or who created him. Mokona doesn't care, nor does Fai, nor does anybody, so stop worrying about it, OK?"

A small smile spread across my face and I scritched Mokona between the ears.

"Thanks. I'm sorry--"

"Stop apologizing!" Mokona scolded.

"Right, sor--...I'm going to stop talking now."

Fai and Mokona burst out laughing. I laughed to myself, then I sighed.

"Maybe we should leave. This place holds...a lot of memories." I glanced at Sakura and Kurogane's graves and forced myself not to cry.

"It's hard to believe they're gone," I admitted sadly. Fai nodded.

"It's no one's fault, OK?" He said.

I put my hand on my right eye.

"That means you too, Syaoran," I whispered. He said that he'd been watching everything going on around me through my blind right eye, so maybe he could still see everything. Maybe he could also hear it? He had to, right? He hadn't exactly given me any of the details to go off of.

Fai cast me a questioning glance. "I'll explain later," I assured him, and he nodded. "...Do you think you can tell me the truth?" I asked. He bit his lip. "We'll see."

Mokona leapt off my shoulder and into a large, cleared patch where it could cast out the magic symbol that appeared at our feet before we were inhaled.

"How do we know if Kurogane and Sakura's souls are coming with us?" It asked nervously, looking around. "Mokona doesn't want to leave them behind..."

As it spoke, a small cherry blossom fell from the tree above Sakura's grave and landed directly in my hand. (Obviously, the one not broken.) I took a moment, and finally nodded and said "She's here."

"What about Kurogane?" It pressed further.

"...He didn't tell me he was coming. He might've decided to pass on, or whatever you're supposed to do other then become a wandering spirit when you die."

There was a long silence.

Then I felt someone whack me upside the head. I yelped and fell over. Fai came to my side and looked around, trying to make sense of what had happened.

"Second thought, yeah, he's here alright. Come on, let's go."

I heard the sound of laughter, and though I didn't know exactly where it came from, I had a strong assumption as to the source of it.

Fai helped me to my feet as Mokona jumped into the air.

"Mokona Modoki, ready to go?" It said this most of the time, but it was a question for once. Fai and I both nodded, casting a final glance at Kurogane and Sakura's final resting place.

For a moment, I felt myself shiver. For some reason, though, it didn't feel like it had anything to do with me. So I took a guess. I put my hand on my right eye.

"It's alright," I whispered inaudibly. "It's alright."


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

"Incoming!!" I heard Blaze yell in my mind as we all got dumped into a dog pile.

"We've arrived!" Mokona squeaked. I waited for Kurogane to say "What the hell, you stupid pork bun!?" Or something along that line, but then I remembered we wouldn't be hearing that again. (Unless, by chance, his spirit landed badly and yelled that.) Instead, I stayed silent and looked up...to find that we'd attracted a rather large crowd.

"...Well, well, what have we here?" Fai asked, cocking his head. Everyone was gaping, and half of them were holding these weird gadgets. I couldn't even begin to guess what they were, but a light was flashing on a lot of them, so I assumed that they were on.

I scrambled to my feet, picking up Mokona and quickly hiding it in my sleeve. I winced as it crawled up my broken arm.

"What was that thing!?" Someone yelled.

"How did you guys get in here!? You fell from the sky!" Cried another person.

"Where's security!?"

The list of things being yelled goes on.

"...Can we get out of here?" I quietly asked Fai, beginning to feel a little claustrophobic. Where were we? We were inside a building, and in that building was a bunch of rooms and a massive crowd of people, but I couldn't figure anything else out.

"This is so going on Youtube," I heard someone say enthusiastically.

"We're in a tube?" I asked, not getting it.

"That's not weird," I heard Fai say sarcastically with a roll of his eyes.

"Who are you!?!" Someone screamed as loud as possible.

"...Who are all of _you?_" Fai asked.

That got a large wave of answers. I'm sure there were names in there somewhere, but all I heard was "bwaaaaaaaaaagh!!"

"...Nice to meet you," I said with in a clueless tone.

Suddenly, I saw a girl step forward.

This girl was an alternate world version of Sakura.

I staggered backwards, a quiet "Aah...!" escaping my mouth. Then I spun around and smashed my way through the people surrounding us. Everyone got out of the way, except one person, who may or may not have been the 'security' the person I heard mention earlier. I elbowed him in the stomach when he firmly gripped my dislocated shoulder and blindly ran, weaving my way through the people. I sprinted until I turned a corner and reached a door. I didn't care where it led, I smashed it open and ran inside. It was empty, but it looked a bit like a bathroom. I opened one of the stalls, locked it, and sat down, putting my head in my hands.

I stayed there for a while. I knew I'd have to go back and look for Fai later, but I wanted to avoid seeing anyone who looked like Sakura again. It hurt too much. I couldn't get used to having someone like that around then having to leave.

After a while, I heard someone lightly knock on the stall door.

"...Um...you've been in there for...er...a really long time...are you OK?"

"Go away," I muttered.

There was a long silence, and then I heard three girls burst out laughing.

"You do know you're in the _girls_ bathroom?" One of then snorted in hysterics.

Most people would've been embarrassed. I just didn't care.

"I just wanted to get away from that crowd."

The laughter stopped.

"Were you one of the two who fell out of the sky? The blonde man's been looking for you."

I stood up.

"...Why's Syaoran in the girl's bathroom?" Mokona whispered, confused. It hadn't seen the girl that looked like Sakura step forward.

"I'll explain later," I whispered as I walked to the stall door and pushed it open.

There were three girls standing in front of me. Two appeared to be identical twins. They both had black hair and green eyes, though one of them had cut their hair short. They were wearing a t-shirt and jeans. I then started to feel really self concious. I was wearing my outfit from Clow country, which was very out of place here. The girl next to them was a bit older. She had long brown hair and green eyes, and she was wearing a necklace with a bird on it. I thought it would be something Fai would like. I noticed that the twin with the long hair was wearing a necklace with a wolf on it. I could just mentally imagine my Kudan nodding in approval.

I stepped forward tentatively, casting around nervous looks.

"It's going to be very awkward if anyone sees you in here," the short haired twin admitted. I reluctantly nodded, because they were definitely right. I exited the room, then turned to face them.

"Who are all of you?" I asked.

"Oh, us? We were going to ask you the same thing, honestly," the long haired twin admitted. I sighed. I guess I owed it to them.

"My name is Syaoran. The blonde man you mentioned it Fai. Where is he, anyway?"

"We told him to wait somewhere nearby," Said the oldest girl, pushing her hair out of her eyes. I nodded lightly.

"Your names?"

"Oh, right!" The long haired twin gave a light nod. "My name is Aqua. My two sisters here are Jade, who's my twin, and Amber, who's the oldest."

I nodded before turning around and walking until I saw Fai.

"I wasn't the only one who saw her, was I?" I asked him as I came into earshot.

"No, you weren't. I talked to her a little bit when everyone cleared. You kind of freaked her out. Maybe you should talk to her?"

"N-No..." I muttered, my voice shaking. He nodded, understanding. "But remember: she doesn't know Sakura. Her name isn't even Sakura, it's Melody."

I gave a light nod, but I had no intentions of talking to her, even after that. Jade, Aqua, and Amber ran over to me. My eyes instantly locked on Amber, who looked extremely nervous.

_Does she have a crush on Fai...?_ I thought.

Fai walked over to Amber and glanced at her necklace. "...I like your necklace," he said casually, and I could see his Kudan flicker around him. She flushed bright red.

Definitely a crush.

"Th-Thank you...Fai, right?" He nodded. I put my hand over my mouth and laughed quietly.

"Do you have anywhere to go?" Aqua asked, tapping my shoulder. I shook my head.

"We would be happy to let you stay at our place."

"What about your parents?" I asked. They all glanced at each other.

"...We moved out," Amber admitted.

"You seem a bit young," I admitted.

"So do you," Jade put in. They appeared to be about a year older then me, except Amber, who appeared to be nineteen.

"...I never had parents," I muttered.

"...Then how were you born?" Amber asked.

I cringed. "Forget I said anything."

They all exchanged glances.

"You have a mother and a father. It's impossible to not have one."

"I don't have a either," I insisted. This was mainly to myself, because I had wondered if, since Fei-Wang Reed had cloned me, he was the one who counted as my father. I didn't want to think of it that way.

"Then how do you exist?" Jade sounded impatient for an answer.

Fai grabbed my uninjured shoulder and stepped in front of me. "It's not a topic he's fond of."

I wanted to scream a loud thank you to Fai at that moment. I ended saying thanks really quietly instead as we followed them out of the building.

We walked peacefully for about three seconds, before people started to recognize us, and ran towards us. We broke into a run, rushing ahead of the three girls. I guess we stood out a lot, with our strange clothing, seeing as lots of people turned to look at us and whisper.

We pushed the doors open, and found ourselves staring at a bunch of...well, I wasn't sure what they were, but they looked a bit like the machines from Piffle country, only they clearly couldn't fly.

Amber, Aqua, and Jade stopped behind us. "Keep moving!" Amber snapped. She pointed to a silver machine and we darted towards it. The two twins pushed us inside, and then slammed the doors.

"...What are these?" I asked curiously as Jade and Aqua jumped into the backseats.

"They're called cars. Are you telling me you've never seen them?" Amber asked incredulously.

"Something similar," I admitted. "But not exactly like this."

"Then we should probably tell you to put on your seatbelt, because this is probably going to break the speed limit." What amazed me was both of the twins said this at the same time.

I followed their advice and did put on the seatbelt. Fai cast a glance at me.

"Well, this sure has been one of the strangest landings to date," he laughed.

"Tell me about it," I muttered.

Then the car sped off. I won't go into details, but we lost the crowd pretty quickly, and I felt pretty nautious all throughout the trip. Aqua told me it was called 'car sickness.'

We stopped in a large room where the car was parked.

"I guess this place is sort of high tech," I said as I stepped out of the car and tried not to throw up.

"I wonder if it has virtual reality, like Oto." Fai looked deep in thought as he said this.

"Vir---Virtual Reality!?" Amber squeaked. "You've actually been in a virtual reality video game!? We've been trying to make those for a long time!"

"Where are you guys from?" Jade asked.

"...We travel," I muttered. "We always 'fall from the sky,' but it's never exactly been amazing, or a big deal."

They all exchanged glances.

"...You're going to be on the internet," Aqua finally stated.

"...What's the internet? What is Youtube, while we're at it?"

And, so, I got to watch us fall from the sky on a website. I learned a bit about cell phones, computers, the internet, and the place where we'd fallen, which was apparently called 'the mall.'

Eventually, the girls left Fai and I to get some rest. I sat down on the bed, Fai sat down on the chair by the computer.

"It was nice of them to let us stay here," Fai admitted.

"...Amber-san likes you," I laughed.

He smirked. "She's a nice young lady."

I glanced at him. "Are you troubled as well?" I asked him suddenly. He sighed.

"Stressed is all," he muttered. I gave a light nod of agreement.

"Back in the forest, you said that the other Syaoran talked to you. Did he say anything else?"

"...He said that there's a seal on my blind eye giving me a soul. He can see everything around me from it. I'm blind, because he's using that eye to see, I guess. Apparently, whoever's been watching us from the beginning has been trying to bring back the dead. That's all I know."

Fai slowly nodded. The he waved and said "Hi, Syaoran-kun." I smirked.

"So how long are we staying here...?" I asked.

"Not long, I'd assume. We're not looking for the feathers, but we could ask Mokona if there is one."

I nodded, and Mokona came out of my sleeve.

"Is there a feather around here?" I asked it. It stood on my shoulder, focused, then shook its head. "Nope, Mokona can't sense anything."

I glanced at Fai. "If I don't have anything to do, I guess I'm just a tag along."

"So the tables have turned, then," He muttered. I cocked my head.

"I was just tagging along while you got the feathers."

I smirked. "I never thought of you as someone who tagged along. I thought of you more as an older brother. You always looked out for me and Sakura..."

I smiled sadly before looking at my feet.

"...That actually makes me feel a bit better," Fai admitted.

"Glad to be helpful," I sighed halfheartedly. "Oh, and Fai? Thanks for helping me out in that battle in Hanshin, or I would've died." I was remembering the height that I'd been dragged off the ground.

"Oh, no problem..." He stood up. "I'm going to get some rest. By the way, you should ask those girls for bandages, or something. You don't want your arm to heal incorrectly."

I nodded, and he turned around and left the room. His room was across the hall, so it wouldn't be hard to see him if I needed to talk to him. I lied down on the bed, my back making a loud popping noise. I let out a grunt, complaining slightly, before I fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

I found myself in the same place in my dreams I'd been the day before. The Syaoran on the other side of the water barrier didn't look angry, though, he just seemed sort of calm.

I took a small step forward and cocked my head.

He walked through the barrier, and we turned to face each other.

I opened my mouth to speak, but he beat me to it.

"I'm sorry."

I stared, and finally, found myself saying "...Uh...?"

"I'm sorry for saying that I regretted letting you keep your soul," he sighed, glancing sideways at the ground. He seemed a bit uncomfortable. Then again, how many times do you have to apologize to yourself, in the literal term?

"...Erm...no problem," I said, feeling a bit strange myself.

"...I guess that my real problem is that I need help."

I looked at him. "What's the problem?"

"...Everything."

"I know the feeling."

He dug his fingers into his arm. "Sakura's dead, so is Kurogane...and it's my fault."

I shook my head. "It's not your fault--"

"It _is!_ If I hadn't changed the world that you'd gone to next, then Kurogane and Sakura would still be alive!"

"...But I wouldn't, huh?" I whispered. He blinked, and finally sighed. "Yah, I guess...That's not exactly what I mean, though. Sakura's death has been not only tough on you and I, but the person who cloned you...Fei-Wang Reed. He's...sort of beating the heck out of me...?"

I sighed. "I'm sorry...why don't you fight back?"

"That's the thing. I can't. It's not physical...it's magic. I used up whatever magic I had stored in Hanshin."

I had to think it through before I got it. "...You mean the lightning? What was it...Raitei Shorai?"

"Yah, technically, using that up on that monster eliminated my freedom. Yuko, you know who she is, gave you the magic for when you really needed it. It was the price: she would change the world you went to next, and the price was my freedom."

"...She's harsh when it comes to prices."

"Yah."

"...What world are you in?"

"I'm not exactly sure. It's not like I can just look around."

Before I could ask what he meant, he turned away.

"You're about to wake up. Watch what you say, alright? We probably don't want Fei-Wang Reed to figure out how we're communicating."

My eyes opened and I sighed deeply. I was back in 'my' room.

I heard a light knock on the door. I rolled out of bed, walked across the room and slowly pushed it open. I looked around, but I couldn't see anyone. I was about to close it again when I heard a small voice.

"Syaoran...?"

I looked down to see Mokona.

"Sorry, I couldn't see you there." I bent over and picked it up. "Is something wrong?"

"Mo-Mokona needed some company," It whimpered.

"It's OK." I sat down on my bed and placed Mokona beside me. "What's wrong?"

"...Fai and Syaoran are both extremely depressed. Sakura and Kurogane are gone. Mokona has been having nightmares. Black Mokona's stopped talking to Mokona. Mokona hasn't even heard anything from Yuko!" It burst into tears.

I closed my eyes, feeling sympathy for the poor creature. "It's OK," I whispered to it. "If it makes you feel any better, I've found something else that I need to do." Mokona cast me a questioning glance.

"I owe someone a favor," I said, purposely being vague so Fei-Wang Reed couldn't guess what I was talking aout.

"Mokona will help as much as it can," it offered, and I smiled.

"Thank you." I looked down for a moment, then asked "What is Fai depressed about?"

"Mokona thinks that Fai's worried about you, and that he may blame himself for Kurogane's death."

"...Everyone's blaming themselves. It was the gang's fault, no one here is responsible for anything."

Mokona nodded. "I think he's also struggling to tell you why he's running."

"...He doesn't have to unless he wants to, and if he does, I won't hold anything in the past against him."

Mokona nodded again. I stood up and pushed open the window.

"Where is Syaoran going?" It asked curiously.

"Outside. You wanna come?"

Mokona smiled slightly. "Sure!"

I picked it up and created a flaming panel by the window.

"What's Syaoran doing?" Mokona wondered.

"Sightseeing," I laughed.

"Is that allowed?"

"Who cares?"

It giggled. "OK!"

I walked up flaming panels until I was high above the city, then I sat down, lied down, on a flaming panel. No, I didn't catch fire.

Mokona cautiously hopped down and spit out some bandages.

"Here, Mokona got this from Aqua."

"Thank you," I muttered, slowly wrapping it around my broken arm, sort of making a sling with it. Mokona helped me out. As soon as I'd wrapped it properly, Mokona swallowed the bandages.

"I want to get going tomorrow," I admitted. "I know it seems kind of early, and Amber-san's taken a liking to Fai, but I feel sort of restless."

"Now Syaoran's got a goal, he's got his determination back," Mokona noted. I nodded slightly.

"I guess you can say that."

"Mokona's glad." It hugged my arm, and I smiled.

"Mokona...thanks for all the help you've provided on our journey. It means a lot to me. I'm sure it meant a lot to Sakura and Kurogane, too."

"...Thanks to you too, Syaoran. Mokona feels much better now."

I felt better, too. I would talk to Fai when I got back down. For now, I was just wanted to enjoy the sight of the stars, and the cool, night air.

Suddenly, I felt a gust of wind. I looked next to me...and saw Fai.

"Hey!" I greeted. He seemed surprised to see me. Then he smiled half heartedly.

"Hello, Syaoran-kun. You seem to be in a better mood."

"A little bit better, yes." The flaming platform extended.

"You won't get burned," I promised when he gave me a sceptical look.

"...What happened to the laws of physics?" He asked with a light chuckle before he sat down.

"Have they ever been important, anyway?"

He stared at the moon for a while, and finally, I decided to ask him about his past.

"...You know, whatever happened in your past, I won't hold it against you."

He tensed.

"Well, you don't know what my past is, now, do you?" He muttered, sounding a bit cold.

"What did you do? Kill someone? Sentence someone to their own death? Lock them in a crate? Were you nearly murdered? It doesn't matter to me, Fai. It's not like I have any life experiences to compare it to. I was dumped on the road at the age of...what, ten? And I didn't have any life before that age, either, because I'm just a clone."

He stayed silent, then finally gave a sigh of resignation.

"...Twins were bad luck where I was. I had a twin. He died. It was my fault. End of story."

"...In a sense, I have a twin, so you're not alone there. And I'm sure it had nothing to do with you. It also doesn't explain why you're running."

He just sighed. "There's someone who wants to kill me, or wants me to kill him, or...I don't know. I locked him underwater and ran. I guess I'm just a coward."

"Cowards unite!" I joked, rolling my eyes. He cast me a glance.

"You're not a coward."

"Sure I am."

"How are you a coward?"

"How are you?"

"Because I'm running away from something I can't face."

"What's weird is I recall doing the exact same thing earlier today." He didn't seem to know how to respond to that.

"See? You're harder on yourself then anyone else will be."

"...There's one part I left out," he finally muttered.

"Name it," I said with a shrug.

"I have a curse. I have to kill anyone with stronger magic then me. I can't break it, even if I want to."

"...I have no magic power in me, whatsoever. Except the temporary magic, which I used up in Hanshin. See? Nothing to worry about."

Fai gave a small smirk.

"By the way..." I smiled. "You're lucky. You can fly."

He laughed. "...Thanks, Syaoran."

"I owed you anyway, after my freakout back in the last world." I muttered with a light shrug.

"You're sixteen. Your 'older brother' and the one you loved died, and you'd just learned you were a clone. Someone had told you that you shouldn't even have a concience, and they wished you didn't. I would've been more surprised if you hadn't freaked out."

"...He apologized, actually."

Fai seemed surprised.

"...How did he do that?"

"...Can't say. All I can say is that I'm not insane and I'm not making this up."

"I believe you," He said with a shrug. "It's nice that he apologized."

"Yah. He gave me some important information, like...who's watching us. You know, the one who we'd been told was watching us in the country of...Jade...?"

And we both laughed at that. Now we had a story to tell Jade.

"Yeah. Is the one watching our every move, by chance, the one who cloned you?" I gave a short nod. "Yes." After a long moment, I said "Can we leave tomorrow?"

He looked downwards. "...I was hoping we could stay longer," he finally admitted.

"...Have you taken a liking to Amber?" I asked with a grin.

"What--..." He cut short. I laughed. "It's fine, if you want to stay."

"No, we should probably get moving," he said quickly. "We can leave right now, if you want. I'm ready."

I smiled sadly as he jumped down and headed back towards the house.

"Mokona? I want you to remember this place. It would be nice if we could come back to the sisters here at some point."

It nodded. "Mokona will."

We headed back down the flaming steps. As we did, Blaze walked next to me.

"Blaze?" I asked. He looked at me.

"Kudan's are supposed to be a part of a person's soul, right?"

He nodded. "Yes, in Hanshin."

"...Then which soul of mine are you a part of? The one given to me, or the one that had to develop as I traveled across the worlds?"

He looked thoughtful. "I don't know," he finally admitted. "If we ever meet the one you were cloned from, you might figure it out."

"We will," I whispered, so only he could hear. "That's my goal."


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

"Do you really have to go?" Aqua and Jade both whimpered.

"I'm sorry, but yes," I sighed.

"Are you sure you can't stay any longer?" Amber pleaded.

Fai looked sad. "I wish I could, but I have to go with Syaoran."

"You don't actually have to, Fai-" I began.

Someone whacked my across the face, and I staggered backwards.

"KUROGANE!" I yelled, a bit indignant.

"...Who are you _talking_ to?" Jade asked incredulously.

"...I hope you're spiritual," I muttered. Aqua smiled. "We are."

"Good, because that was the spirit of my friend. He punched me."

The two laughed.

"You kind of deserved it, actually," Fai said, stifling his laughter. "Of course I have to go with you."

I didn't argue in fear of being hit again.

"We'll try to come back. We promise, alright?" I added the promise when Aqua gave me a desperate look.

"OK. Please, as soon as possible," Amber said, tightly gripping Fai's hand. She gave him a shy smile, which he returned, minus the shyness.

"Here." Jade reached into her pocket and pulled out two round, shining stones. They reminded me of the jewels on Mokona's forehead.

"What are these?" I asked.

"...You said you're spiritual. They're crystals. This one is supposed to represent leadership, motivation, balance, and it promotes healing." She handed me a solid moss-green colored stone.

"And this one, stability, order, peace of mind, and strength." She handed the translucent green, white, and purple colored crystal to Fai.

"They're called adventurine and...erm...fluorite."

Fai laughed at that as he examined the crystal. "I remember this stone quite well," he murmured. "It was the stone back in my home country..."

"Aqua and Amber picked them out. Fai, you told Amber that your journey was going to be dangerous, so we wish you the best of luck, OK?"

"Thank you very much." I felt strangely greatful. Whether or not I believed in these properties, they'd done a great job picking out the ones we'd needed most.

"You girls take care, alright?" Fai and I turned around and walked off.

"That was really nice of them," Fai said, staring at the one he'd received.

"There's a crystal called fluorite. That amuses me, for some strange reason." I laughed. He smirked. "Yeah, it was the crystal I was named off of, but I didn't think they'd catch on."

"We'll try to come back here, if it's even possible, OK?" I assured him, lowering my voice slightly. He gave a light nod.

I passed the crystal in my hand to Mokona. I didn't have a pocket to store it in. It swallowed the crystal. "Let Mokona know if you need it, OK?" I nodded. "I will."

Mokona leapt into the air, when we were good distance away from sight. "Mokona Modoki, ready to go!" It yelled. I glanced at Fai.

"You didn't have to come with me," I told Fai. "It was up to you. You could've stayed."

"My goal is to run, remember? Plus, I can't just let a sixteen year old wander around the dimensions alone, can I? You'd get yourself killed."

I laughed. "I don't doubt it."

Then we all got inhaled.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

It wasn't a dogpile landing this time. We were neatly placed on our feet, and Mokona landed in my palm.

"Here we are!" It squeaked. I nodded absently, looking around. We were in a forest clearing. The place was empty; I couldn't see or hear anyone else who may or may not have been there, Fai being the exception.

"It's pretty quiet," I muttered after a long silence.

"I can't scent anyone," my Kudan agreed. Fai shook his head, his kudan appearing next to him.

"I sense some sort of magic surrounding this place, though." He put his hand on his Kudan's back.

"So do I," his kudan said. I cocked my head. I'd never heard Fai's kudan speak. It had a light voice, kind of what I'd expect out of a young, airheaded, twelve year old, not a giant bird.

The bird looked upwards and pointed it's beak at the sky.

"It's coming from up there," it concluded.

"Thanks, Jay," Fai said, looking deep in thought.

"Yay! I have a name!" The kudan chirped, hopping up and down. I was surprised when it's hops didn't shake the ground or start an earthquake. Blaze snorted with laughter.

Suddenly, the two kudan's started to fade. Blaze let out a startled yelp, then re-entered my heart.

I glanced at Fai.

"What...just happened?" I finally asked. He shook his head. "I don't know."

We talked for a while, before we both finally decided to brush if off for the time being. We had more important things to do, like making a camp. Fai went to look around for anything to eat or anything that might be a dangerous predator while I set up a fire, and Mokona helped by providing two tents. (I didn't ask where it had gotten them, I was sort of afraid of the answer.)

I let a small orb of fire surround my hand as I set up the wood, and the pile burst into flames. I smiled in satisfaction. It was kind of cool how my kudan allowed fire to burn only when I wanted it to.

Suddenly, I winced as a pain shot through my back. I staggered to my feet. Mokona instantly swung around and looked at me, worried. "I'll be right back," I muttered to it before darting off quickly and disappearing behind a tree. I leaned against it, trying to catch my breath and figure out what had just happened, or what was happen_ing_. After about a minute, the pain faded as quickly as it had come. Something felt off, though.

It took a moment to figure it out, and when I did, it was a complete accident, when I wrapped my _tail_ around my leg.

Then I realized I had a tail.

Then I started choking on air, thinking _OK, what the hell!?_

"Syaoran!" Mokona squeaked. Quickly, I wrapped my tail around my waist and pulled my shirt over it. There was no need to worry anyone.

"Is everything OK?" It asked, looking nervously up at me.

"Yah, I think I just inhaled a fly." I gave it a dry smile. "Come on, let's finish up camp."

The setting up took a little longer then we expected, mainly because Mokona didn't really know how to set up a tent, and I wasn't all that great at it either. I also wasn't focusing, which was most likely the main problem. That and making a tent with one broken arm. Finally, when it was completed, I sat down on a small rock nearby and waited for Fai.

He eventually came back with something dead. It looked a bit like a deer, however, there was something different about it. I couldn't see it that well enough, however, to figure out what it was. Fai appeared to be troubled, as he was muttering something under his breath and looking at the ground.

"Something's wrong," I stated, cocking my head. It wasn't a question.

"Yeah...The deer talked," he muttered absently. "I think it was being chased. It saw me, ran towards me, and begged for me to kill it."

My eyes widened. "Are you kidding...?"

"No, and when I eventually did, it thanked me before it passed on, and I saw eyes leering out of a bush nearby. There's something about this forest...a secret. I'm not sure what it is yet, but I have a feeling we're going to find out. Soon."

I bit my lip as I wrapped my tail tightly around my waist. I had a feeling we'd work it out soon, too, whether we wanted to or not. And maybe my sudden, random tail had something to do with it.

Fai started cooking the deer, obviously feeling horrible about doing so. I took over for him before long, because I hadn't had it at my feet begging for its death. What had it been running from? Why had it been so desperate to die? We ate in silence.

As it faded to night, I felt more and more like something was definitely wrong. Fai was acting very jumpy, I was getting a headache. I twisted my leg while walking and was unable to fix whatever I'd done to it. And I was starting to get a fever, according to Fai.

I collapsed, hours later, in my tent. Mokona was at my side, holding a cold, wet cloth to my forehead. (There was a stream nearby, which is where the cold water had come from.) I was breathing heavily. The climate felt way too hot both inside and outside of the tent.

"Mokona's scared...is Syaoran alright?" It asked nervously. I nodded.

"I think so...I don't know what it is," I panted. "Is it hot outside?"

"...No, actually, it's freezing."

I muttered something fairly colorful under my breath. "Please get Fai," I requested. Mokona nodded and scampered out of the tent. It came back with Fai a couple of seconds later. I had one hand on my head. My other hand was beginning to ache. I moaned.

Fai got onto his knees next to me, putting a hand on my forehead. He quickly retreated it backwards.

"This is escalating to more then a fever..." He looked me in the eye.

"...Has anything strange happened to you today?"

I knew what he was getting at. I slowly unwrapped my tail, allowing it to be visible for the first time. He clicked his tongue and grabbed my wrist. I didn't ask him what he was doing. He put his other hand on my my shoulder and forced me to my feet.

"You might want to leave the tent" was all he said to me.

Both of my legs seemed to be jacked up. For a comparison, I felt sort of like a dog hopping on its hind legs. He was casting around nervous glances, and I realized that maybe I wasn't the only one who seemed to be mutating. Fai had a pattern running down his arm, etching itself into his skin. It reminded me of a bird's feathers.

He allowed me to lie down next to the camp fire. I couldn't muster the energy needed to protest, even though the fire was the last place I wanted to be next to.

"Syaoran, relax a little bit. I'm heading off into the forest. Mokona, come with me, alright?"

Mokona looked reluctant, but it obliged, and the two walked off.

Following Fai's advice, (he clearly knew much more then I did,) I relaxed as much as I could. This was really hard, considering I was lying on the ground and I felt like I was on fire. I allowed my eyes to fall shut. Pain shot through my forehead, and I whimpered pathetically. The heat around me exploded into what felt like a physical form, and I blacked out.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

When my eyes opened, the first thing I did was glance at the sky. The sun was coming up. I must've been out all night.

I attempted to get to my feet, when I felt a large shape hover over me. I glanced up to see Fai's kudan, Jay.

"...Syaoran, I'll explain this before you freak out."

My eyes widened.

"Fai...!?" I scrambled to my feet, but found myself getting to all fours. I looked around frantically, and glanced down at my hands: only to find that they were paws, and I was literally on fire.

"Am---Am I my Kudan!?" I yelped, looking up at him with wide eyes. He stayed silent for a moment, then he nodded.

"I went to talk to some of the...erm...'locals.' Apparently, this forest here awakens and allows a person's true soul to emerge. Of course, our kudan were already a form of our souls, so...here we are, then."

I scratched my claws across the dirt. "...Is that how it is for everyone here?" I finally asked. He gave a light nod. "So I've heard."

"...Then what about that deer from yesterday?"

"People are born in with different minds, and emotions, and...well, souls. Some have the soul of a tiger, some have the soul of a bird, some have the soul of a wolf... maybe some have the soul of a dragon. I guess this one had the soul similar to that of a deer. I'd assume in this forest, there's some sort of a food chain, and deers aren't on top. The one we'd met had probably had enough. Maybe its family got killed? All we do know is that it'd lost it's will to live." He probably smiled sadly, but I couldn't tell, since he was a bird.

"...Where's Mokona?" I finally asked.

"I haven't seen it all day," Fai admitted. "We should probably look for it."

"Maybe it turned into a tapeworm, because it's a freeloader," I joked. Fai chuckled, but it sounded a lot more like a bird call. I gave a small grin, swishing my flaming tail in amusement. I stopped to consider yesterday's headache, then batted at my forehead. There was a large horn emerging from the top of my head. "It figures," I muttered to no one in particular.

"Mokona!" I called as I walked. Fai echoed me as we walked deeper into the forest.

"...Here," We heard Mokona's familiar voice say.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

"...Um..."

And Mokona stepped out from behind a bush. All three of us burst out laughing. Mokona was a _human._ It was tall, and had long, white hair. There were it's large ears coming from the side of its head, and its earring and the jewel on its forehead hadn't gone anywhere. It was wearing what I recognized as Sakura's clothing. It appeared female.

Mokona was definitely laughing at us, I realized. Then again, it only made sense. I was a flaming wolf and Fai was a giant bird.

Finally, when we'd stopped laughing at the misery of one another, we walked over to each other.

"This explains a lot," Mokona admitted, getting down to 'her' knees and petting my head, sort of like I was a dog. "Syaoran's fever, headache, tail, and all."

I nodded, glancing at the floor and sort of wimpering. "You don't have to pet me," I muttered.

"...Then Mokona will give you a belly rub."

I jumped back and attempted to flee. Mokona grabbed my side and knocked me over.

"Mokona!" I barked in protest. However, a part of my subconcience was amused. 'She' rolled me onto my back and started scratching my stomach, to which I barked, whimpered, and flailed my legs out trying to make 'her' stop. 'She' laughed hysterically at me the whole time, and Fai, I knew, would be in tears laughing if he was human.

"Hey!" Someone snapped. Mokona looked up as I rolled onto my side and got to my feet, turning to face whoever had spoken.

I stepped forward, immediately feeling irritated by the cocky tone in the speaker's voice. The person who stepped out was a fox. A really big fox. I knew what they said about foxes: that they were sneaky and couldn't be trusted. I bared my teeth and snarled.

"Aw, is poor widdle wolfy growling at me?" The male fox teased.

"Shut up," I growled.

"Getting a tummy rub from your _girlfriend?_" He pressed.

"...I don't even know what gender that creature is," I admitted, blinking. I just barely held back my rage.

"Clearly female," He muttered with an eyeroll.

"...Not when it's a pork bun."

"...A pork bun...!?"

Before this _pleasant_ conversation could continue, Fai intervened by raking his talons across the fox's face. I laughed quietly.

The oversized fox pounced at me. I leapt to the side, ran between his front paws, and leapt upwards, raking my horn across his belly and making him burst into flames. He screamed and ran back into the trees.

"...Thanks, Fai," I said, surprisingly satisfied. Maybe it was the fact he had used baby talk, or the fact he had called MOKONA my GIRLFRIEND, but it felt strangely good to see him running away like a scared rabbit. (No offense meant to Mokona.)

"No problem," He muttered, seeming a bit irritated as well.

"...What gender _is_ Mokona?" Mokona asked. We turned to look at it.

"You mean you don't know?" I asked. It shook it's head.

"...We should ask Yuuko sometime. For now, lets get some rest."

I noticed that, despite being unconcious all night, I was still exhausted. I wearily nodded my head and trudged slowly through the trees until we reached camp grounds. I lied down on my side.

"This is really weird," I muttered to myself, feeling a bit self concious about being my kudan.

Mokona sat down next to me and put 'her' hand on my back.

"It is, but Syaoran can get past it if Mokona can."

I gave a slight smirk before asking under my breath "Can you please give me the crystal Jade gave me?"

Mokona nodded, and I saw the crystal materialize from the jewel on its forehead. It held it in front of me. I pressed my nose to the crystal, and felt myself feeling slightly reassured as my eyes drifted shut.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

I found myself walking through my dreams...as my kudan. When I stopped at the water barrier, I nearly turned and ran away due to sheer embarassment of being here like this.

The other Syaoran, however, shook his head and walked through the barrier.

"I remember the forest you're in," he muttered, kneeling to my height. "I've been there." I sat down and cocked my head.

"Really? Did you become your kudan?"

"Well, I never had a kudan, but yes, for a day, I did end up taking a different form. However, I wasn't a flaming wolf."

I cocked my head.

"...I was an ice wolf," he confessed with a small shrug. "Your kudan is most likely from the soul you grew on your own, and not the one I gave you."

For some reason, this made me feel a bit better. It proved that maybe I did have my own soul, and I was my own person after all.

"How have things been for you?" I asked, cocking my head again. He sighed deeply.

"He's working out that it might be dreams I'm using to communicate with you. He's been shocking me constantly to keep me awake."

"So why are you talking to me?" I questioned.

"...I fell unconcious," he said, snorting with laughter.

"Talk about backfiring!" I laughed. He nodded his head.

"You know, you don't have to work on freeing me. I heard you mutter it to your kudan."

"...I owe you," I admitted. "Besides, no one deserves to be locked up in an unknown dimension. There has to be some way to work out where you are, right...?"

He shrugged. "I don't know."

I started to feel myself fade. "I think I'm waking up," I admitted. He nodded. "You are. Quickly, though, be careful about locating feathers. They don't have Sakura's memories anymore, they've absorbed the history of the worlds where they are located."

I shrugged and turned around. "She can't get them though, she's dead."

"...Her spirit's not."

I shot awake. Seconds after, I felt something on my back and looked around frantically. Mokona had 'her' hand on my back, trying to gently get me to wake up. I looked up at 'her.' It felt weird, because usually I had to look down to see 'her'. Now I was looking up.

"What's wrong?" I asked, hoping 'she' wasn't planning to give me another belly rub.

"Nothing, it's that...Mokona senses a feather. It's under your paws. Under the dirt."

I glanced down at where I was lying. I remembered what the real Syaoran had said, that they contained information about the worlds they were in, not Sakura's memories anymore. And that Sakura's spirit might be able to collect them.

Was he telling me to continue collecting them? To avoid them? I whimpered pathetically aloud, but when Mokona asked me why, I didn't respond. I didn't want to collect the feathers anymore, and at the same time, I did. I didn't want to be following what Fei-Wang Reed wanted me to do, if that was it, but in reality, it was the real reason I began the journey.

Temporarily discarding all thoughts, I started digging with one paw, scratching the ground until I saw a white feather with a red pattern visible in the dust. I tried to scoop it up with my paw, but this didn't work. If I had been human, my face would've turned red as I stuck my muzzle into the hole and pulled the feather out in my teeth. I placed it in Mokona's hand.

'She' ran it through her fingers once or twice.

"What do we do with it now?" I asked.

"Well, Mokona would say it's up to Syaoran."

I cringed. I didn't want to be put in charge of that.

Suddenly, the feather started to glow. I cocked my head as the feather floated upwards...and disappeared into ripples in the sky.

"...That was weird," I said dryly. Mokona nodded. Then 'she' looked back at me.

"...What's a girlfriend?" 'She' asked.

I took a minute to process the question before responding "...What...? Why?"

"...Because that fox called Mokona Syaoran's girlfriend."

I laughed, shaking my head.

"A girlfriend is the same thing as a love bird."

"...The fox was calling Mokona and Syaoran love birds...?"

"...Yes."

Then Mokona burst out laughing in hysterics. 'She' laughed like this for five seconds before 'she' sharply stopped, looked irritated, and said 'no.'

I grinned, swishing my tail in amusement. "No, we're not. But that's the impression someone gets if I'm on the floor in a forest like this flailing my legs in the air while someone is scratching my stomach."

Suddenly, there was the sound of rustling overhead. I looked up to see Fai making his way back into the trees. He had a rabbit-style creature in his beak. This rabbit, however, had a long whip-like tail and spikes running down its back.

"Welcome back," I said, standing up and bowing my head low in greeting.

"Thank you, Syaoran, I'm back" he muttered, dropping his catch down at his large talons. I knew it wouldn't be big enough for all of us. At least he had tried.

"Did you find anything?" I asked, figuring he'd explored a bit while he was out.

He nodded. "There's no end to this forest as far as I can see. There is, however, a grave yard. A really big one."

"...That's unnerving," I admitted with a light whimper. He gave a slight nod.

"And I saw creatures running through the trees." His voice had darkened. "I'm not sure who they are, but they look like trouble."

I heard rustling at that moment. My ears pricked upwards, and I turned to face the direction I heard them coming from.

About ten large, black creatures smashed through the bushes. I saw a bat symbol on all of their chests, and recognized them instantly as the ones that had attacked us at the ruins back in Clow, the ones who'd killed Kurogane's mother...and, if I recalled correctly, the other me had the same symbol on his chest.

...Which means that these minions had been sent by Fei-Wang Reed, and that's who'd killed Kurogane's mother and attacked us at the ruins in Clow.

_...Oh, duh!!_ I thought. _Why didn't I work that out earlier!? _

Before I could actually slap myself for being an idiot, the creatures all leapt at me, Fai, and Mokona. I stumbled backwards, startled for about .5 seconds before realizing that they would probably try to kill us and leaping at the face of the nearest creature. It had taken the form of a giant bat. Which was made sort of ironic with the bat shape on it's chest.

I drove the horn on my forehead through it's wing and set it on fire. It flapped it's wing forcefully, and this sent me smashing into the ground. I rolled over and quickly jumped to my feet, only to feel myself get barreled over by a giant spider.

I cried out in surprise, because that was just disgusting. I was sure that this beast would even make Kurogane cringe. I'm not kidding. It was covered in hair, had huge fangs, and I think it was drooling venom, or something. It sort of looked like a physcopathic spider.

"That's gross!" Mokona squeaked from somewhere in the battle field. I didn't know how it was fighting.

I forced myself to hold down my stomach's content as I leapt at the spider and planted my front paws on it's back. The spider rolled over, and I had to scramble to get onto it's stomach so I wasn't crushed. I grabbed one of the creatures legs and pulled...and the whole leg came off. Insect blood began to pour all over the floor.

I didn't have time to react, because at that moment, the spider screached, flailed, and sent me flying back into a bush, somewhere further into the trees. I stopped just next to a river. I hadn't even known it was here. Fai probably had, I assumed.

I stood up, made my way out of the bush, and shook the leaves out of my flaming (but not exactly flammable) pelt, but stopped when I saw one of the men that had attacked us at the ruins in Clow. I hadn't seen these men for a while. I bared my teeth in a warning snarl, until I noticed he was carrying a limp figure in his arms.

"...Sakura...!?" I whispered in surprise under my breath. How was her spirit unconcious!?

I didn't have time to ask questions, I realized. With that, I leapt at the man and smashed him into a tree. He used his artificial claws to slash me out of the way, then he held up Sakura, maybe in a way of human hostage. I glanced up and completely ignored this. It was easy to get around. I rolled over into a bush and slunk quietly through them. After about three minutes, he lowered her, looking around, and then I jumped onto his back from behind, knocking him forward. Silently, I was glad this guy wasn't the smartest one I'd faced. I grabbed Sakura's shoulders with my teeth, unsure of how I could touch her spirit (or see it on and off) and darted a fair distance away, screeching to a halt.

The problem with that move was my timing. My back paws slid over the side of the river ledge. I dropped Sakura, and started scrabbling with my front paws for a hold, cursing myself for bad planning. The man stood up, only half recovered from his surprise (this man seemed to lack in the quick recovery department) and made his way to where I was trying to keep my grip.

He smashed his artificial claws though my front right paw. I let out a loud bark of surprise (much to my embarrassment) and fell into the river with a loud splash.

The cold water hurt as it made contact with my skin. _What happens to a flaming wolf creature when it hits water?_ I wondered miserably as I attempted to swim back up and found myself unable to. The flames on my pelt, I noticed, were extinguished, but I felt the water around me continuing to grow colder. I struggled a bit more, and then decided to rest for a couple of seconds. It would do me no good if I got out of the water only to be too worn out to battle.

When I next tried to struggle, I found that I could move just fine. Feeling more then a bit relieved (I'd worried that I might've been dying,) I paddled my way back up to the shore.

The small river, I decided, hadn't been running, because I hadn't gone any deeper into the forest. I wondered if time had moved slower up on land then it had under water, because the man wasn't too far off at all. I didn't question it though, I instantly charged, knocking him off his feet, doing a back flip, and raking my hind legs across his back. I snatched Sakura out of his arms. I also noticed that, even after flailing, I had renewed energy. As in so renewed it was insane, because I felt like bouncing off the walls. I put Sakura down behind me and bared my teeth.

"An ice wolf!?" The man hissed, annoyed and surprised.

"An ice wolf?" I muttered, realization sinking in. I held up my paw. It was the color of ice. The ice wolf, I remembered, was the real Syaoran's kudan.

I so owed him a thank you.

Fai and Mokona darted through the bush. "We've taken care of the rest of the--" Fai began. He then glanced at me, and the man who was trying to capture Sakura. "...What's going on here?" Mokona asked nervously.

I ignored 'her,' and leapt at the man. He slashed the artificial claws he was wearing at me. I sunk my teeth into them, feeling them scrape the inside of my mouth. I scratched his face and let go, not wanting my throat torn out from the inside, before swinging around. He didn't appear startled, apparently recovering a lot faster then he had, and he ran at me again.

Instinctively, I burst into flames. Or at least, I tried. Instead, icicles burst in all directions.

"This works too," I said in a low grumble.

The icicle hit the man in the leg. He stumbled backwards and collapsed into the river, which, I guess _was_ running, because it carried him away.

"Glad that's done," I murmured. I remembered as I tried to catch my breath that the artificial claws of those henchmen were usually tipped with poison. I could feel it starting to take effect,too, as my legs began to tremble under my weight. I forced myself to walk to Sakura's side before sinking to my knees, and finally resting on my side.

"Good move there, Syaoran, but be more careful next time," Fai said. He extended one of his wings and then started to pull at an icicle. I whimpered guiltilly, feeling bad for that. I lifted my head, and he lowered his wing. I grabbed the icicle in my teeth and pulled. It came loose, and came out, with a couple of tugs, as weak as mine were.

I rested my head back on the grass.

"Those claws...were they tipped with poison?" Fai guessed. I gave a weak nod.

"What happened to Syaoran, anyway?" Mokona asked, glancing at my ice pelt.

"My...given soul..." I muttered, before I allowed myself to fall unconcious.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

My eyes opened. I was still an ice wolf, I realized, as I licked my paw experimentally. Then I felt a bit embarrassed. I'd just licked my paw. That was really weird. I shook my head and walked towards the water barrier, that had begun to become really familiar.

The real Syaoran emerged from the barrier and walked over to me.

"That's what I looked like," he said, motioning to my pelt. I nodded.

"...I can't be my own person, ever, can I?" I asked.

"It depends what you think. You have a soul, which was from me, but everything that came after that, which includes your emotions, relationships, and your outtake on life, is all up to you."

I took a moment to think this through, then gave a nod.

"Right."

He smiled. "Good, got that out of the way." Then his face grew serious.

"I need to talk to you. It's about Sakura."

I tilted my head to one side. "I just saved her spirit, I think."

He nodded. "You did. But that's the problem. You obviously can't protect her 24/7."

"I can try," I muttered. "And we're not going to get attacked by Fei-Wang Reed's henchmen 24/7 either."

"No, I guess not. That's not the point. You also saw the feather disappear."

I nodded. "I was wondering about that."

"Her soul acquired it."

I stayed silent. Then I asked "Is that bad?"

"It's what Fei-Wang Reed wants. Those men were after you and Sakura. He wants Sakura's spirit, for the knowledge of each world she has, or something of that like, and he wants you, because you've stopped doing what you were created to do: collecting the feathers."

I whimpered.

"...You need to let her go."

I stared at him. "I don't follow."

"...You need to let Sakura pass on. If she's a wandering spirit, then she's as risk. Once she's actually passed on to the spirit realm, that's where he can't get her."

I felt my whole body tense. It occured to me suddenly that maybe the fact Sakura had always been there is what kept me sane, along with Kurogane's prescence and the fact Fai wasn't dead.

But I loved Sakura. Surely, the real Syaoran knew that. Letting go would feel like watching her die all over again.

"...I...I don't think I can do it," I finally admitted, my voice quivering.

"You have to. What's more important, Sakura, or the balance of all the worlds and time itself?"

I didn't know how to respond.

"When?"

"As soon as possible."

I looked around the area and changed the topic. "You'd think I would wake up soon."

"You were poisoned. I'd expect to be stuck here for a little while."

"Too bad we can't play cards," I joked with a small grin. We both laughed.

I heard a small dripping sound by my paws, and looked down to see the ice melting.

"You're probably reverting back to your flaming wolf status," He said with a slight nod.

"...Cool."

"...You're melting, and all you can say is cool!?" There was a large smile on his face, and we both laughed, hard. It wasn't even funny. But I guess it was one of those moments.

"...What do you do in the dimension you're at?" I asked him after it fell quiet.

"I float in a capsule with an eyepatch on while listening to Fei-Wang Reed rant about how you're screwing up his plans and silently laugh at him until he shocks me."

"...Nice life."

"It wasn't my idea."

I shook my head. "I doubt it was."

It was him who started to fade first.

"Looks like I'm waking up before you this time," He said, turning his back to me. "Remember: for her own safety, you really need to let Sakura pass on. Kurogane, too. You can't have them beside you forever." He disappeared.

"...But what if they decide to?" I asked the air. There was no answer except an echo.

I sat in a silence for a long time. The water barrier had phased away, and now I was alone in a featureless room. I wondererd, more than once, if I'd died. Did clones die in a different way then real people? Did clones not get to pass on?

I tormented myself with this for what felt like forever until I felt myself starting to fade.

I moaned and rolled over, my eyes opening. Every part of my body felt like it was on fire. Other then that, I felt fine.

It took me a moment to remember I was on fire. Then I felt a bit better. But not much.

I stood up and looked around.

"Fai? Mokona?" I called. There was no answer. I wasn't in the clearing next to Sakura anymore.

Then it hit me, sort of like a brick. (I don't know what it feels like to get hit with a brick from experience. I never want to, either. Getting hit with a fruit was bad enough.)

"Sakura!" I called. I looked around frantically, but there was no sign of her. I stretched my front and back paws experimentally. They felt alright at least for a short sprint.

I sprang through the trees and over the bushes.

"Sakura!!" I howled, looking around for her. Where was she!? I didn't know why I was so worried. How long had I been out?

A hand caught my "shoulder." It was a gentle touch. I swung around, and found myself staring into the eyes of Sakura.

I relaxed my muscles and just stared at her for a little while.

"...You're beautiful, even when you're dead," I finally said. She giggled nervously.

"And you look cute, even like this."

I felt the flames on me die out and change to brown fur. The horn on my forehead retracted, which I didn't even know it could do.

I rubbed my head against the side of her leg, unsure how else to show any affection as a wolf. I couldn't hug her, or that's probably what I would do. I was not good at romantics.

She got down onto her knees beside me, and I allowed myself to rest. After the wave of fear, I was exhausted.

"That poison really took it's toll on you. You've been out for three days," she said.

I swished my tail. "It felt longer."

"Did you talk to the one you were cloned off of?"

My eyes fell shut.

"...A bit," I muttered. "It wasn't something I was too happy about."

She cocked her head, curious. She also seemed a bit nervous.

"...He said I need to let you pass on. And the thing is, if you want to, I'm not stopping you."

There was a long silence.

"No," she finally sighed. "I can't leave you. I don't care if it puts my life in danger to stay here, it's not worth leaving yet. I'm not leaving until I know you'll be OK."

I didn't object. "I'm actually not ready for you to go. I'm not going to fight you for that decision. I'm glad."

She sat down and allowed me to rest my head on her knee. Then she started scratching me behind the ear. I wasn't really embarassed, because I was sort of only half concious anyway.

I heard the sound of footsteps and beating wings. I nearly got up, but then I decided against it. I was a bit dizzy.

"Look at the love birds!" Mokona called, laughing as 'she' ran towards us. Sakura and I didn't jump or protest this time. I didn't see the point in denying it: We did love each other.

"How come Mokona's not allowed to give you a belly rub but Sakura's allowed to pet you?" Fai laughed as he landed.

I barked, but I didn't react in any other way.

Fai finally sighed. "Syaoran, can you get up? Are you feeling alright? We've been worried."

I glanced upwards.

"I'm feeling OK. A little bit dizzy, but I'm OK. I didn't die, so..."

Fai nodded and smiled, and Mokona got to 'her' knees and started petting me as well.

I whimpered, embarrassed.

Mokona giggled. I attempted to stand, but Mokona held me down.

"We're leaving this world, soon. Is Sakura coming?" Mokona asked.

"Of course," Sakura said, nodding her head.

"...Can Kurogane come in and see this?" Fai laughed, purposely speaking loudly.

"No..." I groaned.

There was rustling in the trees.

"Fai!" I protested quietly.

Kurogane sniggered as he appeared. "That's both weird and cute."

"I'll say," Fai agreed with a nod.

"What happened to his arm, anyway?" Kurogane asked.

"I guess it's not broken in this form. I'm going to guess it will be when he changes back, and we'll need new bandages. I found the old bandages in a charred pile."

"I did burst into flames," I reasoned quietly.

"This conversation is kind of strange," Sakura laughed.

"Our life is strange," Fai countered.

"At least we're not floating in a tube listening to a man rant about how we're screwing up his plans for us and laughing until we get shocked."

They all glanced at me.

"Eh!?" Kurogane asked, clearly not getting it.

"I'll tell you later," I said, my voice sort of slurred. I felt so much like a puppy at the moment. My mind was screaming in protest as Sakura and Mokona pet me, but I couldn't move, and, lets face the facts: I could've been in a much worse situation, given the circumstances. So I just stayed put.

"Are we ready to go?" Fai asked.

Everyone nodded, including me.

Mokona stood up, and Sakura picked me up _as if I was a dog._

"You do remember I'm human?" I whispered into her ear.

"Which is why I won't get the chance to treat you like a puppy again, little dog."

"Heeey..." I whimpered, but this was Sakura I was talking to, so I actually didn't care.

I swear, that poison was making me drunk or something.

Mokona looked at the ground. "How do I do this?" 'She' asked.

We all exchanged glances. I guess we'd forgotten to think about that, seeing as Mokona was human at the moment. Oops.

"...Just do what you usually do?" Fai suggested.

Mokona gave a nervous nod, and leapt into the air. A pair of white wings unfurled from 'her' back.

"Mokona Modoki, ready to go!" 'She' cried. I noticed, to my surprise, that 'her' voice cracked. The symbol appeared on the ground below us. We all got absorbed into a ball, as we usually did, so I don't know whether or not Mokona inhaled us. You'll have to ask 'her'.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Mokona dropped us all into a little pile on the floor.

"At least it wasn't a dog pile this time," Fai suggested, getting up and ruffling his feathers. Briefly, I wondered when we would revert back to our normal selves. After that, I looked around frantically, hoping we hadn't been seen. We were in a large field, which was empty, and right in front of us was a large sakura tree.

"These are appearing all over the place, huh?" I asked softly.

Sakura, who was still carrying me like I was a puppy with a sore paw, nodded. "Oto, Our Resting Place, now, here...where are we?"

We all exchanged looks at each other, but my gaze stopped at Kurogane, who's eyes were wide.

"Do you know something, Kurogane?" I asked.

"This...This is Japan."

I whimpered empahetically.

"I don't need your sympathy," he grunted, obviously very downhearted.

I changed tactics. "Too bad you had to go and get yourself killed."

He turned around, irritated. "This coming from the flaming wolf clone!"

I hadn't actually meant to irritate him that far. He said that he didn't want my sympathy.

"I know I'm a clone. Don't rub it in," I snarled, failing to surpress the hurt tone.

"Then you don't need to remind me then I'm dead!" He snapped.

"But you said you didn't want my sympathy!" I barked in protest.

"You two, stop," Fai sighed irritably. "We need to work out where we are."

"Japan. Kurogane's home country," I grunted. "He doesn't want your sympathy or your sarcastic remarks, he's bound to just insult you back."

Kurogane shot me a pissed off glare. I ignored him.

"You can put me down," I whispered to Sakura.

She looked thoughtful, then said "Nah."

I whimpered. Mokona laughed at me.

"So what do we do?" Fai asked. "You would know, of all people, Kurogane."

"...Well, you can't just walk in...I'd say wait for Amaterasu or Tomoyo to come and find you. If it's Amaterasu, say you're looking for Tomoyo. If it's Tomoyo, tell her you have a message for her."

"What message?" I asked before I could stop. He glared.

"She needs to know I'm dead. Tell her...that I also know what true strength is about. I've learned, even if I can't tell her myself."

I cast a sad glance over at Fai. Sakura turned around and sat down by the sakura tree.

"Why can't you put me down?" I asked.

"...I don't know," she admitted. I had a feeling she wanted to say something, but not around Kurogane and Fai.

After a long moment, she sighed, and whispered into my ear.

"It's because...of what you said earlier. You said that the one you were cloned from wanted you to let me pass on."

I nodded. "Yes."

"...So does Kurogane. He says I need to let you go."

I glanced at Kurogane. He was completely ignoring me, and not really talking to Fai, either. I had a feeling that, if he wanted Sakura to pass on, he was probably going to go with her. And to do that, he wanted to close himself off to us.

"But I don't want to," She said. "Figuratively, or literally."

She hugged me. I couldn't help it, and I smiled. That was sort of cute, and made sense. But it was still humilating. As long as Tomoyo didn't come out to this--

That's when I heard footsteps. I just had to jinx it, huh? I realized that no one could see Sakura anyway and relaxed. I looked at the woman approaching.

The woman who stopped in front of us was fairly tall. (Or maybe it was that I was short.) She had short, black hair, and darker skin then average. Her eyes were brown, and she was wearing an outfit that I didn't recognize.

"Who's that?" I whispered to Kurogane.

"Soma," he said back, not bothering to stay quiet. It's not like Soma could hear him, anyway.

The moment she saw us, she froze, her eyes narrowing.

"Who are you, and what are you doing here!?" She demanded.

Fai stood up, walking/hopping forward. "We've come here to see Princess Tomoyo," he said lightly.

"How did you get here!? Why the hell are you a talking bird!?"

"It's not important. We just need to talk to her."

"Answer me!"

"We just need to talk to Tomoyo."

"Princess Tomoyo is busy-"

"It's about Kurogane." The words left my mouth before I could stop them. She stared at me, and finally muttered "I think I'm going mad." She turned to face Mokona. "Why are you traveling with a floating, talking wolf and a giant bird? What do you all know about Kurogane?" She said the last words in a quiet, nervous hiss of sorts.

"...Well, Syaoran's not floating, he's being carried. Syaoran and Fai are usually human, and it's Mokona that's not. But circumstances change, I guess!" 'She' said, finishing 'her' sentence with a huge smile.

When Soma couldn't respond, I finally decided to try and console her, somehow.

"...Don't worry, I know for certain I'm going to need a lot of therapy after this, too." Sakura let go of me and I hopped out of her arms, stopping at Soma's feet. It was a good thing I wasn't on fire, or this would be even weirder.

"Who _are _you!?" She asked incredulously.

"My name's Syaoran," I said, bowing my head respectfully, though I was sure it looked comical.

"I'm Fai D. Fluorite, but you can call me Fai."

"I'm Mokona Modoki!" Mokona squeaked, smiling brightly.

"I'm talking to a bunch of animals," she muttered, sitting down to try and take it all in. I attempted to put a paw on her shoulder, but my joints wouldn't work that way, so I settled to placing my paw lightly on her back. She glanced over at me and finally pet me. It was oddy familiar now, though it was still embarassing.

"We're sorry for freaking you out," I muttered. "If it makes you feel any better, I freaked out when I woke up as a wolf."

"A flaming wolf!" Mokona added enthusiastiacally.

"Flaming-" She began.

"Let's not get into that. Fact of the matter is this is very weird for everyone. Do you think you can get Tomoyo for us? Our message is very important."

"...How is Kurogane?" Soma asked softly.

I glanced sideways at Kurogane's spirit. He wasn't facing any of us. It was probably hard for him to listen to us talking about his death.

"...Let us address the news to Tomoyo, OK?" I muttered. She nodded.

"...He's dead."

She frowned. "Be sure to break it to Tomoyo a bit more lightly, OK?" I nodded. She looked sort of distressed.

"I'm really sorry...it was-"

"Don't you _dare_ blame yourself!" Fai snapped. I glanced sideways at him.

"Same goes for you," I muttered. He sighed.

"I...can't imagine an opponent killing Kurogane at all in battle..."

"He needed a certain weapon. A weapon he didn't have. His opponents...were a bit like how we look now, only giant and radioactive."

I lowered my voice so no one but Soma heard me. "You can compare them to the creatures that killed his father."

She nodded, seeming to agree with the comparison. I could see tears in her eyes. Then she stood.

"I'll go get her at once." She left without another word.

All of us stayed silent. I didn't say it aloud, but if Tomoyo was going to react any more strongly then Soma did, (and her reaction wasn't too strong, she covered it well,) then I didn't think I could tell Tomoyo about Kurogane's death.

I heard two pairs of footsteps coming back. I sat down, and wrapped my tail around my paws, trying to look formal. Fai stood still, waiting expectantly. Mokona was leaning against the sakura tree, next to...well, Sakura.

"Here," Soma said cautiously. The girl next to her, who I assumed was Tomoyo, had large brown eyes, and long black hair. She was a little bit shorter then Soma, and the clothing that she wore reminded me a bit of a long, black robe. She had some of her hair tied in a bow behind her head.

Finally, it clicked in my brain that we had also met Soma in Oto, and Tomoyo in Piffle. I guess it didn't matter either way.

Tomoyo blinked. "...A wolf and a huge bird?" Then she shook her head. "No. These are humans trapped in these forms, am I right?"

My eyes widened, and then I gave an uncertain nod. She signalled for Fai to lower his head. He cautiously followed the order, until he was looking into her eyes. She lightly placed her hand on his head, and a large light swirled around Fai, engulfing him completely.

"Holy-" I began.

As the lights faded, I could see Fai was human again. He pulled a stray feather off his arm.

"There we go," he said, with a light smile. "Thank you, Tomoyo-chan."

Tomoyo nodded, and then started walking towards me.

"Maybe we should keep him as a wolf. It's fun to watch Sakura tease him," I heard Kurogane grumble.

"Heeey..." I whimpered.

Tomoyo and Soma didn't hear him, so they gave me a weird look. Fai did, though, because he laughed. So did Mokona.

"It--it's nothing," I muttered. Tomoyo didn't question us any further, instead, kneeling down to my height and putting a hand on my forehead.

Nervously, I used my paw to move her hand to my muzzle.

Before I got any questions, the horn on my forehead shot out, and the flames danced around my paws before exploding and encasing me entirely.

I could feel myself slowly turning back to my human form. It was sort of a relief. No more getting pet on the head by girls who thought I looked like a puppy.

I got to my hind legs, and as I finished turning back and the flames scattered, I felt a painful jolt in my arm. _Of course it's still broken, _I thought with a sigh.

I guess it was even worse then I thought, because when I glanced at it, I noticed it was a sickening purple color. It was definitely in worse shape then it had been before. Maybe it had been numb but still broken in my wolf form?

Soma made a face. So did Sakura. So did Fai.

When Kurogane made a face, that's when I decided it must look _really_ bad.

And it definitely hurt. I breathed in sharply through gritted teeth.

"You're going to need that seen to," Tomoyo said lightly, obviously trying to sound neutral.

"At this rate, I'd say you won't be able to use it again, even it if heals," Fai admitted slowly. I gave a halfhearted smirk.

"At least I usually use my sword with my other hand," I said, trying to look on the bright side. I looked back up at Tomoyo. "Thank you, Tomoyo-san."

Mokona jumped forward. "Can Mokona be changed back?"

Of course, Mokona had disregarded all manners.

And, as usual, the one who had been spoken to in that manner didn't care. She laughed and lightly tapped the jewel Mokona's forehead. This transformation was instantaneous: Mokona disappereared and reappeared with a flicker in Tomoyo's hand.

"Thank you!" It said.

"...That was unexpected," Tomoyo admitted. But she smiled and pet Mokona's head.

"Everyone likes Mokona," I whispered to Fai, who nodded with a laugh.

"I've heard that you have a message for me?" Tomoyo said.

I exchanged a glance with Fai, and took Mokona from her hands.

I noticed Soma take a step back.

"It's about Kurogane," I sighed.

Instantly, her eyes widened and she looked desperate. "Kurogane...were you the ones he's been traveling with? Is he OK?"

I glanced at Fai, and was about to speak, when Fai put his hand in front of me and stepped forward. He lightly put a hand on Tomoyo's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. With that, Tomoyo burst into tears. Fai hugged her. I stood back, knowing there was nothing I could do.

"It's all my fault!" She wailed.

"You're not the first to say that," Fai assured her. "It's only the faults of the one who attacked us."

"But he wouldn't have gotten attacked if I hadn't sent him on the journey...!" She choked out.

"If you hadn't sent him on the journey, I think we'd all be dead," I murmured. Fai nodded agreement.

"And if it helps, we've talked to his spirit, and he's OK. You do believe in that sort of thing, right?" Fai asked. Tomoyo gave a light nod. I glanced up at Soma, who wasn't looking at any of us. Sakura wasn't crying, mainly because she was dead, too. Fai had tears in his eyes, I noticed. This must've been hard for him. I owed him, if I were in his place, I'd feel horrible. Mokona tapped my arm and took the adventurine crystal out of it's mouth.

"Mokona made sure that it didn't leave this behind." It said, scampering to my wrist and putting it in my hands before closing my fingers over it and running to my shoulder. I gripped it tightly, my eyes shut.

"Thanks, Mokona," I whispered.

"Maybe we should head in?" Soma finally suggested. The crack in her voice was the only thing that suggested she was upset.

Tomoyo nodded and signalled for us to come with her. We followed her quietly.

She showed us to sleeping quarters, and left Fai and I to talk.

"Thank you, Fai. I don't think I would've found the courage to tell her," I sighed.

He gave a light nod. "No one likes to be the bearer of bad news," he agreed. He stood up and looked at my arm. "You have no idea how bad that looks," he said.

"It wasn't really the first thing on my mind when I changed back." I attempted to move my arm, but it didn't respond.

"My arm's not going to recover," I finally admitted. I couldn't deny it if it wasn't moving now. "I mean, it might heal, but I don't think I'll be able to use it."

Kurogane and Sakura, who were sitting in a corner, exchanged glances. I had a feeling I wasn't supposed to see this, but I did anyway.

"You can't make it move, can you?" Fai asked. I shook my head. "No."

Kurogane stood up and grabbed my wrist, bending my arm. It was numb, and this scared me.

"S-Stop it, Kurogane," I muttered, probably betraying my feelings about the situation by stumbling over the word 'stop.'

"...You didn't feel that at all, did you?"

"Uh-uh." I said, shaking my head.

"...No way in hell am I expecting it to work ever again," Kurogane concluded. I gave a light nod, biting the inside of my mouth.

"Maybe you should get it amputated?" Sakura suggested.

"N-No!" I objected before I could stop myself. All three of them looked at me.

"...I don't want my arm cut off," I said, sounding sort of like a frightened ten year old.

Sakura stood up and gave me a hug.

"Sorry," She muttered.

"That's OK, it's just that the idea of getting my arm cut off while I'm still alive isn't really a pleasant one. It's not your fault I'm just a coward." I wrapped my working arm around her. I saw her give a sad smile.

The door opened slightly.

"Hello, Tomoyo-san," I said, quickly ending my hug with Sakura and standing up. She looked upset, and I shot her an apologetic glance before looking back at Tomoyo.

"I wanted to look at your arm."

I picked up the limp arm with my working arm and held it out to Tomoyo.

"It's not working," I muttered quietly. She took my wrist, twisted it from side to side, and pinched it. It was disturbing when I couldn't feel it. I felt a bit sick.

"...I think this needs to be amputated," She concluded.

I shook my head and attempted to pull my arm away. Of course, that failed.

"It doesn't need to be amputated," I objected.

"It does," everyone in the room said simultaneously. I flinched. I wondered if it was obvious that I was scared of the concept.

"I don't-" I muttered. Fai put a hand on my shoulder, as Mokona scooched out of the way.

"I'd say it's for your safety. The bite marks from the creature that gave you the wound is clearly infected. It could be pretty serious."

"I..." I stopped.

"You won't be awake," Sakura added, though I knew Tomoyo couldn't hear her.

I didn't know how to object this time.

"How do we go about this, then?" Kurogane asked.

"I don't know," Mokona said.

"Huh?" Tomoyo cocked her head.

"Talking to a spirit, sorry," Mokona said absently, as if this was normal.

"What spirit?" She asked.

"Kurogane."

Her eyes widened. "Kurogane?"

"Mokona can exchange messages," Mokona suggested.

"So can we, in case Mokona attempts to stuff up the message for it's amusement," I added. Mokona giggled, and I knew that it had already planned to.

"Kurogane can hear you, so we'll just carry over his messages," Fai said.

"Um..." She glanced around, as if worried someone would deam her insane.

"Kurogane...I'm so sorry!" She whispered.

"Eh, tell her it's not a big deal," he said, waving his hand.

"It's not a big deal," Mokona said, immitating Kurogane's voice. Tomoyo looked startled for a minute, then recovered.

"It IS! You got killed, and it's my fault!"

"You weren't the one who had a monster slash its claws through my chest," he grunted.

Mokona echoed this.

"...Were these guys nice to you on the journey? Were you nice to them?"

We all looked at him. Very slowly, he nodded.

"The kid was a good student. I taught him how to use a sword. The girl who died with me was one of the kindest people I'd ever met. And..." He glanced at Fai, looking for words.

"The magician was interesting, to say the least. He kept everyone going. The pork bun...was annoying at times, but definitely loyal and trust worthy. I don't think I hurt them."

"If you count out that remark you made outside," I muttered, glancing away from him. "Flaming wolf clone?"

"You were asking for it!" He snapped.

"What are you two going on about?" Fai sighed.

"I don't know, I can't hear one half of the argument," Tomoyo said, laughing nervously.

"Kid rubbed it in my face that I was dead."

"You said you didn't want my sympathy!"

"Nobody here is wrong, nobody here is right. Keep moving on, please?" Sakura requested.

We stopped our bickering, and Fai relayed Kurogane's message to Tomoyo, word for word. She smiled. "I'm glad."

"He also learned the true meaning of strengh," I said. Tomoyo didn't know how to respond, she just smiled.

"Do you think he did, Syaoran-kun?"

"I don't doubt it one bit," I said.

This seemed to reassure her. Fai nodded his agreement.

"OK. Syaoran, we're going to have that arm seen to soon, OK? Until then, get some sleep."

She turned around, and headed towards the door. Kurogane stood up and put a hand on her shoulder.

She froze, and glanced behind her.

"What--who is that?" She asked.

Fai and I smiled. "Kurogane."

Kurogane hugged her, she hugged him back. I had a feeling, as his spirit glowed, that maybe she could see him now, too.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Again, stop apologizing."

"You apologize almost as much as I do," I remarked, a light smile.

"She'd have to apologize ten more times a day, Syaoran," Fai laughed.

I flinched. "Sorry---...OK, point proven."

Everyone laughed. I laughed at myself a little bit, as well.

"I'm glad that...even if it is your spirit...that I can see you one more time," Tomoyo said to him.

"Thank Ming," he muttered.

"Ming?" She asked. He shook his head.

"I won't explain now."

She nodded, taking his word for it. I guessed that she had a lot of respect for him. He clearly had a lot of respect for her.

"Goodnight. All of you." She turned her back to us, then looked over her shoulder. "You too, Sakura-chan." Then she left.

"Good---goodnight..." Sakura muttered, seeming a little bit startled.

I gave her a light smile.

"We should all get some sleep. Syaoran, you're probably going to have a busy day tomorrow, your arm-"

"But what if I don't want it amputated!?" I asked, a bit frantic.

"If the infection spreads, it could kill you," Kurogane said, crossing his arms. "Is that worth it?"

I fell silent, thinking _a bit, at least I could be with Sakura,_ but not having the guts to say it.

"...No," I said. Even if it was sort of worth it, I couldn't betray Fai.

And then it hit me. Was I sort of suicidal? Wow, that's not good.

"OK, then I suggest you get some sleep."

Kurogane and Fai turned around and left the room.

"Sakura?" I asked. She glanced at me.

"...Who's Ming?"

She sighed deeply.

"That's something you'll need to wait on. You'll know when you die, OK?"

I shook my head, not really liking the answer, but accepting it.

"...I'm sorry I couldn't protect you in Hanshin," I said softly. She shook her head, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"It wasn't your fault. You did your best, and you fought your hardest. I died because I wasn't strong enough."

"You died because something broke your back, then stabbed you, actually," I said. There was a long silence, and then we both laughed, even though it was actually true.

...And then she kissed me.

You think I'd be used to this by now.

I kissed her back.

_"Stupid teenage hormones," _I heard Blaze say inside my head.

_"Shut up,"_ I responded.

"Is there a rule that says the alive and the dead can't make out?" Mokona asked. We ignored it.

Then the door swung open. We jumped apart.

Kurogane walked over to Sakura. I noticed that his eyes were blank.

"Come on, Sakura," he said, his voice monotone. I remembered that he had been telling her that we needed to try and let each other go.

Kissing each other, I knew, was definitely not the way to go about that.

Kurogane grabbed Sakura's arm and pulled her from the room. I watched her go, then I lied down. I was exhausted. I glanced at my broken, disabled arm. I sighed, and turned away._ Don't think about it, _I thought, _and maybe I'll get some sleep..._


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

The dream realm was getting to be a very familiar place. I walked forward to the water barrier. The real Syaoran, however, was already waiting outside of it. His arms were folded and he was glaring at me as if waiting for an explanation.

It took a moment for me to figure out what he was getting at. After I did, I took a deep breath.

"I'm not ready to let go of Sakura yet. She's not ready to go, either."

"Yeah, that's the impression I got when the moment you woke up, you went looking for her, then you flirted with one another while she scratched you behind the ears until you were found by your friends. It's also the impression I got when the two of you made out."

I looked for a way to defend myself. Then, I realized, he was actually right.

"...Yup," I concluded. "That just about sums it up."

"I told you that it's important for you to let her go!" He snapped.

"I can't! And she doesn't want to go!" I hissed.

"Have you told her it's important!?"

"No! Why would I!? If she doesn't want to go, and I don't want her to go, I'm not going to try and convince her to leave! I love her, damn it! It's not my fault that you've probably never been in love!"

"Oh believe me, I have been," he snarled. "It's not like I'll probably ever get to see her again."

"So you're trying to mess up my relationship with the one I love!?"

"No, I'm just concerned that she's going to get used, hurt, killed, or worse by Fei-Wang Reed!"

"If she decides that she wants to stay, it's got nothing to do with you!!" I was pissed, now, and I could see that he was, too.

"Do you not trust me on this matter!?"

"I trust you, but I can't do what you're telling me to, and Sakura doesn't want to either!"

"What's weird is if I'd let these things happen, you would've left Sakura without a second thought!"

"That's the thing: I have my soul! So don't rub the fact I shouldn't in my face!" My voice cracked as I spoke. Crap.

"Live with the facts: You're a clone!"

"I'm reminded every single time I look at you! You don't need to keep telling me! I don't keep reminding you that you hardly have any freedom!"

"Why I oughta--"

And then I sneezed. We both stopped and looked at each other.

"...Someone's talking about you," he said.

"Yup," I agreed.

And then we both burst out laughing, dropping the whole argument before this. I doubted that either of us liked being mad at each other. I felt that getting mad at him was unfair, because I owed him a lot: for letting me keep my soul, for letting me live, for preventing whatever would've happened if he hadn't payed the price of his own freedom. Yet I still couldn't follow his demand to let Sakura go.

"Look, I'll try, alright?" I said. "Just...don't expect too much from me. I'm trying my best to help you escape from whatever world you're in, so be patient, alright?"

"...OK. Thanks for trying to help me escape. I have no other way out." He gave a sad smile.

"It's not like I have anywhere else to go or anything else to do," I responded.

"Does your arm work in the dream realm?" He asked, changing subjects. I hadn't really thought about it. I lifted it up to eye level. "I guess it does, here," I muttered. He gave a nod. Then, suddenly, he asked "Are you asleep or unconcious?"

My eyes narrowed. "A-Asleep, why?"

"...Because there's an aura around your spirit saying you're actually unconcious..."

"Is there a difference in auras between the two?" I asked.

"You have to be familiar with the dream realm. You have a slight glow around you when you're unconcious."

I looked at my arm. It radiated a light silver color.

"...I don't know why I'm unconcious," I muttered, trying to work things out. He shrugged. "Me neither."

Suddenly, I felt a sharp jolt in my broken arm. I took in a sharp breath and grabbed my wrist, wincing visibly. The other Syaoran walked over to me, and grabbed my shoulder, shaking me lightly. "What's wrong?"

"My arm hurts..." I admitted though gritted teeth. The air started to feel a lot heavier around me. I began to find it hard to breathe.

The pain started to build. I swore, digging my nails deeper and deeper into my arm. It started to flicker and fade. Blood started to well around my shoulder.

"...I think I know why you're unconcious," the real Syaoran finally said. "They probably knocked you out to amputate your arm."

"I'm so going to kill them," I growled. The blood ran down my arm and dripped onto the floor beside me. After about three minutes, I let out a loud scream, and my arm faded completely.

"I think they're done," Syaoran said quietly, and I noticed he was gasping for breath, sort of like I was.

"Something's wrong," I said. He nodded.

"I'm getting dizzy, like there's not enough air," he complained.

"Actually, I sort of feel like I'm inhaling water..." I began to cough.

We exchanged glances. I fell to my knees and began to choke. The surrounding air felt heavy, and thick, and I couldn't stand it. I grabbed my stomach. The real Syaoran was breathing quickly, obviously having the opposite reaction.

I found I couldn't talk, despite the fact that I tried.

I felt something grab my ankle. I glanced over my shoulder to see that a large part of the water barrier that the real Syaoran always appeared from had extended and was wrapping itself tightly around my leg. I attempted to pull it free, but realized that I didn't have the energy. My thoughts were clouded. My now missing arm still hurt like hell, though it was beginning to numb.

Another water-whip grabbed my arm. I cast a terrified glance up at the real Syaoran, hoping he'd know what to do. He seemed just as afraid as I was. I noticed that a wind-like energy was surrounding him. I tried to yell, but I couldn't breathe. This was starting to freak me out, and I began to mentally panic. My body wasn't reacting with my mind at all. I couldn't get my limbs to respond to any movement that I wanted them to do.

The water barrier grabbed my other leg and my neck and started to pull me back. I let out a loud grunt of surprise, but couldn't do anything more as the liquid wall pulled me though it.

I had never gone through the water barrier before. It wasn't my place, it was the other Syaoran's. As the cold water made contact with my skin, I felt completely numb, and it strangely felt like I was drowning. My vision blurred and faded. I fell limp and allowed my eyes to fall shut.

"Please wake up..." I mouthed to myself. "Please let me wake up..."


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

My eyes opened slightly. I tried to sit up, only to find I was already upright. I couldn't feel the floor, any walls, or a ceiling. I instantly started to panic, trying to work out where I was. I could feel something over one of my eyes, the one that had given to me by the real Syaoran, my right eye.

I forced my eyes open, though I struggled to even pull this off. I couldn't see through my right eye. Of course, I'd always been blind in that eye anyway. I didn't understand why I was wearing anything over it, though.

I attempted to move again, but found that I couldn't. At least, not well, or completely, more in small jerks and twitches. Paying attention, I realized I wasn't breathing air, either. Again, it was sort of like water, only I wasn't choking on it, like I was in the dream realm.

I started to thrash around, in the way that I was hardly moving, but I was trying to. I was completely trapped. I didn't know where I was, what I was doing here, and where Fai and Mokona were.

"Stop," I heard a voice say. The voice was that of a female, but I didn't recognize her. I looked around, forcing my eye to stay open, though whatever substance I was floating in, it was hurting my eye.

I couldn't speak, but I guess I didn't need to, because my questions were answered anyway.

"You are the Clone Syaoran," the voice said. "My name is Xing Huo. As of right now, your soul is in the real Syaoran's body. You're sealed in a capsule, and the substance you're in restrains your magic. You can see everything your other self is doing through your right eye. You are wearing an eyepatch, because to give you a soul, the real you pulled out his right eye and gave it to you, years ago. This is all happening, because I need to talk to you, and I can't leave Fei-Wang Reed's side without getting murdered."

I blinked, completely startled. I wanted to ask "...Could you repeat that?" but I couldn't.

"Try to act like you're the real Syaoran. If Fei-Wang Reed works out you've switched souls, it can mean trouble. You're here because I want to talk to you, maybe even help you. I'll explain why on a later date. Until then, stop thrashing around, remain still, and just watch what your real self is doing, listen to Fei-Wang Reed rant, and laugh silently at him until he hurts you with magical energy, OK?" I heard the sound of her footsteps leaving the room.

I fell completely silent. Any suspicion in the back of my mind that had assumed that the real Syaoran had been being over dramatic about his situation was now gone.

Soul switching...? It explained a bit. If the real me was used to breathing in the substance I was breathing now, and I was used to breathing air, switching spots would require some getting used to. (At least, a bit more time getting used to then we were given in the dream realm.)

The last thing I wanted to do, though, was sit still. I was extremely claustrophobic, and this was just terrifying.

I allowed my eye to fall shut. As I did, a different image flickered before my eyes. It was back in Japan. There was a dull, glazed look from whatever I was watching this scene through.

Then, I worked out (because I'm just that slow,) that I was watching this through my blind eye.

So much for blind.

Slowly piecing that together, I figured that the glazed look must've been because of the soul switch and the arm amputation. That's not really a combination for hyperactivity. (Just the opposite, more specifically.) I could see Fai, Kurogane, Tomoyo, and Sakura standing over him, waiting for him to get up. (Or me. I'm losing track, here.)

Slowly...I...rolled over. This freaked me out to no end. 'I' sat upright and looked around, completely startled and uncertain. Of course, there was no one over there to tell the real Syaoran that our souls had been switched, so he had no idea what he was doing over there.

"Syaoran, are you alright?" Fai asked nervously.

"Knocking you out was Kurogane's idea!" Sakura yelled frantically, as if not wanting the blame.

"Of course it was," I mouthed. I hoped that the real Syaoran hadn't expected anything less.

The real Syaoran just stared blankly, completely startled, uncomprehending, and just plain lost.

"Are you alright?" Tomoyo asked, putting her hand on 'my' shoulder.

After a moment, what had happened seemed to dawn on him. Slowly, he raised 'his' other hand to 'his' missing arm. There was a lot of bandages wrapped around the place where the limb had once been, and the bandage was soaked with blood.

"Yeah, thanks a lot, Kurogane," he finally said. "It's a good thing you're already dead or I'd whack you."

Everyone laughed, though, if I'd been the one speaking, I'd be dead serious.

"How are you feeling?" Fai asked.

"...Surprisingly fine, actually," he said, staring off into the distance. I remembered the real me had been trapped the way I was now for a lot of his life. I smiled. I was happy for him. He could finally be free, if only for a little while.

I realized that he probably had to act like he was me. According to him, Fei-Wang Reed watched just about every move we made. That's the impresssion I got, at least, if I had to watch what I said there.

He rolled over and stood up. He stumbled as he did, but Kurogane grabbed his shoulder and helped him keep his balance.

Syaoran shot glances around the room, completely bewildered about his situation.

"Are you feeling alright?" Sakura asked nervously.

Oh, great, if I had to watch her kiss me, that would just be strange.

"Yeah, a little out of it, though..."

Sakura gave a light shrug. "I'm glad that you're OK, at least."

Syaoran smiled, but I could kind of feel an "Oh hell" vibe coming from him.

He glanced over at his missing arm. Slowly, he put his hand over his right eye, obscuring my sight of the scene for the most part.

"Did you talk to your real self in your dreams again?" Fai asked. His arm tensed.

_Oh, the irony..._I thought.

"...No, not this time," He lied, lowering his hand from his eye. He glanced at Tomoyo. "Can I head outside?"

She seemed a bit surprised by the request, but finally, she nodded.

"Let's just replace your bandages first." She unwrapped the blood-stained bandages, and almost immediately, I felt the need to throw up. The whole thing was a bloody wreck, and it appeared that the shoulder had been sewn shut to try and limit the blood flow. I had a feeling that the wound might get infected, if not looked after.

She replaced them, and the real Syaoran stayed completely emotionless thoughout. After she finished replacing the bandages, she led the real Syaoran outside.

Almost instantly, Syaoran headed for the sakura tree. Even I was slightly surprised when he leapt, grabbed a branch with his remaining arm, and swung himself up onto it. Then I smiled. I assumed that his spirit had a lot of energy, even if I could also safely assume my body had none.

Tomoyo stared in shock. "Where did that energy surge come from?" She asked.

"I don't know," He lied again, pulling himself onto the next branch. I laughed silently.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps, and they weren't from the scene in Japan I was watching. I opened my eyes. Fei-Wang Reed had come storming into the room.

I had never exactly seem him before. He still scared me, though. He had the bat symbol I'd grown to hate on his chest. I remembered, since I was the other Syaoran, it was probably on my chest as well.

"Damn it, stupid clone! Ever since the princess died, he's been messing up everything!" He hissed.

I laughed quietly. I guess I'd been under the impression that the real Syaoran was kidding when he said he laughed at Fei-Wang Reed. Now I realized that he was actually quite right.

Being unable to see, it was quite a shock (literally and figuratively) when lightning randomly lit up the capsule and electrocuted me, and the liquid surrounding me, making it five times worse. I screamed, but he scream was silent, because there was no way to make a loud sound in this capsule. I gasped for breath. Inhaling the substance I was floating in was very unsatisfying to my want for air.

"Damn Syaoran," he muttered. "I wish I could just pull the soul out of that clone...maybe _then_ he'd do what he was supposed to.

I had to force myself not to tense. The last thing I needed for him to do was devise a way to pull my soul out of any body I had.

As I tried to recover from the sudden shock, I heard the sound of his footsteps leaving the room. A second pair stopped.

"I'm sorry about that. I'll get you out of here as soon as possible." Then I heard her footsteps leave the room, too.

"I need to help the real Syaoran, and I need to help him soon," I mouthed to no one. Then I let my eyes fall shut again. Syaoran was at the top of the sakura tree. I smirked. Go figure. He looked exhausted, but pleased. His eyes were slightly open. I noticed, as he glanced down at Tomoyo, that she was surprised.

"I'm going to sleep," he called down to her. As his eyes fell shut, he muttered "maybe I'll get to talk to him. That's kind of important right now."

I figured I should follow his example. My eyes were shut, anyway, so the darkness covered my eyesight. I was greatful for it. I hadn't moved anywhere, but I was exhausted. Soul switching was tiring for more then obvious reasons.

I felt myself drifting off, when there was a sudden shock. I yelped, my eyes shooting open.

"Be sure that this brat stays awake, at least until his clone wakes up," Fei-Wang Reed retorted, to who I assumed was Xing Huo. I heard him leave the room.

I tried to ignore it, and snapped my eyes shut. I felt a static jolt, only this one wasn't as strong. I opened my eyes slightly.

"I'm not done talking to you yet, so don't even try to switch back. It won't work. I'll let you sleep, though, but if Fei-Wang Reed catches you, or me, it's going to have painful consequences for you."

I nodded. I could handle that. We just needed to talk. But still...

"Please let us switch back soon, OK? I can't stand this...and I doubt the other Syaoran can, either. I need to start working on getting him out."

I was surprised to find I could now talk. Maybe I'd find out the logic in that later. Or maybe I wouldn't. Oh well. There was probably a sort of trick to it. I'd have to ask the other Syaoran, if I found time.

She smiled half-heartedly and nodded. I think. I still couldn't see.

My eyes fell shut, and I descended into sleep quite quickly.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

I looked around, trying to figure out where I was. It wasn't the dream realm I was so familiar with. I could see, but only barely. I took a step forward. I wasn't restrained the same way I was back in the capsule. I still wasn't breathing air, though. It took me a moment to realize, that, being in the real Syaoran's place, I must've been on the other side of the water barrier.

I started to walk forward. I needed to find the real Syaoran. He had gone to sleep, he had to be here somewhere. I had no idea what direction I was going, but I brushed it off. I didn't need to worry too much.

Finally, I saw the edge of the barrier. On the other side, the real Syaoran was waiting patiently, and glancing around nervously as if he expected something bad to happen.

I stopped at the line between the two realms, and just stared for a moment. Slowly, I placed a hand on the barrier, unsure of exactly how to step through it, like the other Syaoran always did. The wall felt completely solid, to me. I glanced at the other Syaoran curiously. He shrugged, and he said something, but I couldn't hear him.

I kicked the wall. That didn't work. I noticed the other Syaoran seemed a bit surprised. Maybe he never had a problem with this?

Lightly, the other Syaoran poked the wall. He winced and drew his finger back as a spark jumped from the wall and shocked him. I frowned. Slowly, I decided this is probably what Xing Huo meant by 'don't even try.'

I guess I had to disobey her. I drew back and ran at it. I knew it was going to hurt, but...

I hit it shoulder first and smashed my head into it as well. I noted that I still only had one arm.

That didn't really matter. The barrier caved, but only for a second, allowing my head through. It closed around my neck and the whole water barrier technically froze into ice on the spot. This made it difficult to breathe, and impossible to move.

"...Ouch," Syaoran said, wincing.

"...Hello," I greeted half heartedly.

"Well, it kind of worked, right?" He offered lightly.

"Does this look like it worked to you!?" I asked.

"Well...no," he admitted, shaking his head. "Enough of that, though. I'm assuming you're in my place."

I nodded as much as I could with the restraint around neck. "I feel bad for you."

"Don't. After all, I have some temporary freedom at the moment..." he gave a forced smile. "It...doesn't help that much when I know someone else is in my place, though."

I smiled slightly to show that I understood.

"It has definitely renewed the feeling that I have to get you out of this mess."

"...Actually," he said, a hint of amusement in his voice. "The mess you're in is never one I've been stuck with."

I rolled my eyes and tried to pull myself out. After a moment, he sniggered and said "You might want to stop, you look a bit ridiculous."

"Yeah, thanks," I sighed, a bit irritated. He shook his head.

"Cheer up, it could be worse."

"HOW could it be worse!?"

"...Well...I'm not sure on the specifics yet, but I'm pretty sure it's possible."

As if on cue, lightning started to appear on the barrier.

"What...?" He began, suddenly looking a bit nervous.

"Brat!!" I heard Fei-Wang Reed yell. I instantly knew I was caught and braced myself, but there was nothing that could've actually prepared me for what came next. Having your _spirit_ electrically and magically shocked hurts much more then having your body subjected to the same thing.

I let out a distressed cry, again trying to pull myself free. The real Syaoran didn't tell me I looked ridiculous this time. Instead, he pounded on the barrier, as if trying to break through it. Apparently, he noticed something I didn't, as he stepped back and looked up at me again.

The electrocuting stopped, only to resume again after two seconds. I didn't scream this time, I was too worn out, and I could feel myself weakening.

"I'm sorry," Syaoran said. With that, he charged at the wall and spun around on his left leg, delivering a solid kick to the barrier with his right foot. The barrier around me wasn't solid for a split second, and he took that short amount of time to plant his feet to the ground and elbow me between the eyes. I fell backwards and hit the floor back inside the barrier.

I could feel my nose bleeding. My eyes opened a crack, and I could see him giving me a sympathetic look. He mouthed 'I'm sorry,' and he looked so guilty I felt bad for him, even though it was me who was in a crummy situation.

The lightning started to spark again.

"GO!" I had a feeling that he yelled this instead of mouthing it. I scrambled to my feet and darted in the opposite direction, not sure if I was actually going anywhere...


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

My eyes shot open, and I almost wished I was asleep again. My entire body hurt. I could see blood floating around my face, and I somehow realized that my nose was bleeding. Injuries taken in the dream realm translated to real life, I decided.

I couldn't see anything, still. I had no way of knowing whether Fei-Wang Reed or Xing-Huo were still in the room. I sighed, shutting my eyes to see what the other Syaoran was up to.

He was climbing...or more, nearly falling, down a tree, since I assumed it's easier to climb down a tree with two arms.

Fai was staring up at him, and I noticed he was more amused then he was worried. Kurogane's spirit, which I could see, was yelling irritably "WHAT DID YOU THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!?"

It surprised me when Syaoran started to giggle.

"What's so funny!?" Kurogane snapped.

"...You're pissed," he said, bursting out laughing, despite the fact he was hanging by one arm in a really tall tree.

"Damn it, kid!! You're gonna die whether you fall from the tree or it's by my hands!!"

Syaoran laughed even harder.

I had never seen the other Syaoran smile, or at least, not because he was _truely_ happy, and whether it was because he was in my body or because he was free for a while, it lifted my spirits a little bit.

He must've known what I knew, too: that Kurogane was only angry because he was concerned. And the death threat was just a weird way to prove it. (I guess that depends on your point of view.)

The problem was I would never be laughing at Kurogane. I hoped they assumed that 'I' was just a little loopy after having my arm cut off and losing so much blood. I could watch silently and know it was actually because the other Syaoran was having the time of his life. Even if that time did involve nearly falling out of tree and laughing at a really angry ninja.

"Does Syaoran need help!?" Mokona called.

"Yes, please," he said as he sighed and wiped the tears from his eyes on his shoulder.

Fai used his Kudan to take flight. Tomoyo, who I only just realized was there, stared in surprise. Then she smiled, impressed.

Fai stopped next to Syaoran.

"I thought you'd be angry that we decided to knock you out and cut off your arm," He admitted.

"You'd think I would be. But I didn't think I should get worked up over nothing. After all, it was necessary. Not to mention I didn't want to get angry at you in particular, because, after all, you're the only alive travelling companion other than Mokona I have left."

_Well spoken,_ I thought lightly, smiling. I would've said something along that line, too, though if we hadn't switched souls, I wouldn't have been telling him that hanging from a tree.

Fai smiled, obviously relieved.

"Can I please have your help getting down from here before I let go and die?" He asked.

Fai laughed, then nodded, grabbing Syaoran and landing on the ground. Syaoran nodded thanks, then ran as Kurogane unsheathed his sword (I was just surprised that he still had that in spirit) and chased him down the field.

I could hear Sakura laugh. "I'm surprised Syaoran's in such a good mood," she admitted.

"Me too, but I have a feeling we might find out why eventually."

Syaoran, upon hearing that, screeched to a stop. Kurogane crashed into him. Then Fai and Sakura burst out laughing. Mokona had fallen off Fai's shoulder and was in hysterics. Tomoyo was in tears. I had a feeling that she had never seen Kurogane crash into anyone before.

Syaoran pulled himself up and dusted himself off. "I'm gonna head in," he said, definite amusement in his voice.

Heck, I was in a lot of pain, and _I _was amused. I even found myself laughing.

Syaoran walked past the group and headed inside. He stayed there for a while, doing nothing much but pondering. I couldn't hear his thoughts, but I had a feeling it had something to do with me being stuck in this place where he should be.

After who knows how long, because I had no way to keep track of time, there was the sound of a bunch of people shouting back and forth.

Syaoran stood up and darted outside, Fai right beside him.

By the sakura tree, there was a man with black hair and dark eyes cornering two boys: a man with spiked black hair and angry gold eyes, and a boy with short, non-spiked black hair who looked a bit nervous but also irritated, with gold eyes as well.

I recognized the man cornering them well.

"Seishirou...!" I muttered aloud. Syaoran said it, too, recognizing him from my past.

I had no idea what the three were talking about, or who the other two were, or at least, I didn't, until the word "Subaru" came up.

"These are the vampire twins," I muttered.

It surprised me when the other Syaoran said that aloud, too.

Under his breath, he muttered "Note to self, never make Syaoran move on his own again, that was just scary." Then, he said a little louder, "I think those are the vampire twins."

Fai glanced at him. "I remember you mentioning them in Oto."

He nodded slightly, unsheathing his sword.

"And I still haven't exactly forgiven him for killing you."

"By all means, do whatever you want, Syaoran. He was your mentor."

"Not really," Syaoran muttered, almost inaudibly, before stepping forward.

"Seishirou!"

He turned around.

"Nice to see you again, Syaoran-kun. I'm a little busy right now."

"Are those, by chance, the vampire twins you've been looking for?"

He nodded. "And I've finally found them."

"So now what?" Syaoran asked calmy.

"I kill them."

"Son of a-" Kamui began.

"We saved your life and now you're trying to kill us!?" Subaru protested, unsheathing large, vampire-like claws.

Syaoran unsheathed his sword. "Let them go."

"We can handle ourselves--" Kamui began, but Seishirou unsheathed his sword very suddenly and jabbed the tip into Kamui's stomach.

"...Second thought, maybe not," Subaru put in for him.

Syaoran took that as a 'Please help us' type reaction and leapt at Seishirou. Seishiro had to protect himself by removing the sword from Kamui's stomach and guarding himself with it.

They proceeded to fight long and hard. I noticed that the real Syaoran had much more skill with a blade then I did. Even Kurogane noticed it, because I heard him ask Fai "Since when was the kid that good with a sword?"

"You've definitely improved," Seishirou said, taunting Syaoran. "But you're not good enough, especially missing your arm."

With those words, he attempted to drive the sword through Syaoran's side. He dodged out of the way, and then, he muttered something that surprised me.

"I'm so sorry, Syaoran."

"RAITEI SHORAI!" He yelled louder, and lightning smashed into a very startled Seishirou. Everyone looked on in surprise.

"The secret's out," I heard Xing Huo say. My eyes shot open. Still, I couldn't see anything.

"So before Fei-Wang Reed comes in, I should probably tell you what I need to."

I nodded slowly.

"First of all is that when you and Syaoran get reunited outside the dream realm...well, having half of the real Syaoran's soul, and having your soul in his body, you should obtain some magic, like I assume you just saw from the real Syaoran."

"Raitei Shorai," I muttered quietly. She nodded.

"I'd assume when the two halves of his soul are rejoined, his magic power boosts, especially when it's not restrained with that liquid you're floating in. Anyway. The next matter is Sakura."

"You want me to tell her to leave, don't you?"

She nodded. "Syaoran already told you?"

"Mm-hmm."

"OK then. The final thing I needed you for was to give your soul the location to your next world. That world should help you find this one again." She tapped the glass panel, and I felt some sort of jumbled information I couldn't process float into my mind.

"Tap Mokona's jewel when you next see it and it should be able to do the rest. You'll have to do everything else on your own."

That's when I heard Fei-Wang Reed enter the room.

"So, the clone Syaoran's soul is here," he said, contemplating this new information. I had a feeling he was grinning like the insane little madman he was.

"Yes," Xing Huo said, but I had a feeling only I heard the reluctance.

"Maybe, by chance, I can fix the problem I've been having with the clone by destroying his soul here. Then the problems would be solved."

He lead Xing Huo away. I bit my lip. This could be bad. I knew it. For now, though, I'd just have to hope we could switch back before anything really horrible happened.

I closed my eyes again. The battle was already over. Seishirou was unconcious, the vampire twins were changing to a different dimension.

Syaoran was standing in front of the others, looking guilty.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Kurogane questioned irritably.

"Because, I didn't want Fei-Wang Reed figuring anything out. He watches everything, you know." He was shifting from foot to foot, looking anxious.

"So why did you reveal everything now?" Sakura asked. "How long have you two been switched?"

"Ever since Syaoran's arm was amputated." He avoided the first question, I noticed.

"That explains why your body suddenly shuddered and turned pale white, and you stopped breathing," Tomoyo said. "About ten minutes after the procedure was over."

"Everyone was scared that Syaoran had died!" Mokona squeaked.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, looking at them all apologetically. No one seemed ready to forgive him.

"I need to get to sleep," Syaoran finally sighed, trying to push past them. "We need to switch back before Fei-Wang Reed..." And suddenly, some sort of realization dawned on him.

"Oh, crap!" He ran inside. He skidded to a halt at the bed. He jolted his temple, and everything went black.

I bit my lip. I couldn't follow his example, my arms wouldn't work properly like that. I had to just hope I could fall asleep.

No, of course not, I knew as I heard footsteps come back in.

"You're not switching back," Fei-Wang Reed said. I heard his hand pressing against the glass of the capsule. A dark red magic phased through the capsule and swirled around me, entering my skin. For clarification, I could see this because it entered the capsule.

I felt something pulling from the inside of my body. I let out a gasp of pain as the pull became more and more fierce. I could feel my body go limp as my soul was forced out of it. I could suddenly see everything, but it was in black and white. I took the quick time to analyze the surrounding area. The red magic appeared around me again, and entered my heart. And then...

Burning. Everything burned. It was like someone had dumped a bucketful of acid on my head, or injected it into my heart, speaking more to terms with what had happened before. I cried out in pure agony, but I was sure no one could hear me. My whole body shivered as I tried to make the pain stop. But it was no use. I felt myself spasm and my muscles faded out of my control. I started to panic when I opened my mouth and no sound came out. My vision started to blur. The sounds started to melt away, not that there had been many sounds anyway.

"It's over, clone," I heard him say, but the sound quality was fuzzy.

My breathing completely halted, and my thoughts started to disappear. I could only feel fear, I realized. And I was terrified.

I started to go numb. I was disappearing, I knew, and I was helpless to stop it. My eyes dropped shut.

And then there was a crash, and a snap. The snap was sharp and stung, and the burning didn't cease. Instantly, I knew I was still alive: I could still feel pain.

"Syaoran." The voice was Xing Huo's.

"I'm afraid this is the last time we'll ever talk, now that I just totally saved your butt against orders. I want to apologize, but please know that this is totally necessary."

And then I felt the sharp jolt of electricity. I knew exactly what Xing Huo was doing, she was knocking me unconcious. Still, I wondered how much more I could take before I was killed. I tried to breathe, but found that I couldn't. I blacked out.


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

I ran through the water, still feeling like there were creatures eating at my skin. I panted for breath, even my insides ached. I felt my legs ready to give out. I saw the opening ahead and that kept me going. I saw the other Syaoran, and noticed that I was still colorblind. It was probably because in the given state, my soul didn't actually belong to any body. Literally.

He saw me and his eyes widened. I knew it was just my spirit, but I figured I must've looked terrible. He ran through the barrier the second I came out. We didn't exchange so much as a word about it.

I collapsed to the floor on the other side, screaming. I had never felt pain like this before, probably because my soul had never nearly been destroyed before.

"Syaoran!" I heard a voice yell, though I couldn't recognize it. It sounded familar... "Syaoran!"

I shot upright, and found myself looking at Fai, his eyes wide, and full of worry.

"Fai..." My whole body was shivering, and I noticed I was a pale white color. The feeling of my soul being ripped out of my body was still there, and the pain that went along with it lingered as well.

My mind connected the pain I was feeling to what had nearly just happened. I burst into tears, which, might I add, was embarassing. He hugged me, and I pathetically cried into his shoulder. Well, nearly being dissintegrated (that's what it felt like, anyway) was bound to cause mental trauma.

"This is the other Syaoran, right?" Fai asked. I nodded, trying to catch my breath. I was stronger then this! I knew I shouldn't have been crying. Still, I couldn't seem to stop the tears.

"What happened?" He asked. I knew trying to put what had happened and what I had felt into words would sound either lame or stupid, but I tried.

"I think Fei-Wang Reed tried to dissintegrate my soul. It hurt." After that, I mentally slapped my self. _IT HURT!?_ He had freaking tried to kill me (to an extent, beyond death), and all I could say was _IT HURT!?_

Fai patted my back sympathetically. To try to back up my statement, I muttered "It felt like being on fire, eaten by microscopic creatures, and melted with acid."

He took in a sharp intake of breath through his teeth. "I'm glad you're alright," he said. "I was worried."

I tried to calm myself down. "I feel like an idiot."

"Don't." After a moment, he looked thoughtful. He let go of me, turned around, and left the room. He came back with the adventurine crystal and Mokona.

"Here."

He placed it in my palm. I gripped it tightly, and I instantly felt better.

"I'm sorry I worried all of you," I apologized.

Mokona then burst into tears and cried into my neck.

"Syaoran nearly died!!" It wailed in despair, sobbing. I wondered if it feared more for my life then I did.

"I'm OK," I assured it, slowly catching my own breath. "I'm OK." But I didn't feel OK. I was still shivering from the ordeal. My vision was still fuzzy, and I was freezing. I was completely numb, except for the little fuzzy furball I could feel on my shoulder and hugging my neck.

Kurogane, Sakura, and Tomoyo walked into the room. They all ran over. "You don't look that good," Tomoyo noted, worried.

"No, I guess Fei-Wang Reed tried to destroy his soul."

Sakura wrapped her arms around me.

"Oh my God..." She muttered. She said nothing other then that. I wanted to tell them all to leave. I felt extremely rude and stuck up for wanting that, too. They all cared for me, and I wanted them to go away. But I just wanted to curl up into a ball and sleep. I assumed they'd understand if I said something, but I decided not to.

"Maybe we should get him a blanket or something," Kurogane suggested.

"He's sitting on a bed," Tomoyo said, shrugging.

"I'm sorry that I worried all of you," I said, repeating what I had told Fai and Mokona earlier.

"How did you switch souls with the other Syaoran?" Kurogane asked.

I grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around my shoulders. "Some girl who works with Fei-Wang Reed did it. She is...was...an ally. She saved my life. I guess it's thanks to her I'm talking to you...she said that it would probably be the last time we talked, though."

"Of course. If she saved your life, then Fei-Wang Reed will probably make her pay for it." Kurogane shook his head. "Did you learn anything?"

I glanced at Sakura.

"Did she say...?" She mouthed. I gave a slight nod. We were both getting familiar with people telling us we shouldn't still be in love.

"What-" Fai began, catching this.

"Nothing," I said quickly, as I remembered Mokona. Slowly, I put a finger on the red jewel on its forehead. It glowed brightly, and Mokona went boink.

"...She said that Mokona could take us to a world where we could work out where the real Syaoran is," I said.

"She?"

"Fei-Wang Reed's assistant. 'Xing Huo,' I think it was."

"You guys should probably rest for a couple of days," Tomoyo said. By the look she cast at Kurogane, (who I guess she could still see,) I knew she wanted him in particular to stay longer.

"We will," Fai agreed.

"I-" I began, but I cut short. It would be stupid for me to persist in continuing, especially when I felt the way I did.

"We'll stay a little longer."

With that settled, everyone left the room except Kurogane.

He whacked me, _HARD,_ over the head.

Strangely, I hardly felt it, but I knew it would hurt tomorrow.

"WHY do you keep getting yourself into deep sh-"

"I can't help it!" I whimpered.

"If you're going to get into a life or death situation, try to be sure you can handle it first! Both of you!"

"...Actually, his dangling from a tree was quite funny."

There was a long silence, and then he just snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Also, you need to let Sakura--"

"Three," I put in, cutting him off abruptly.

"...Eh?"

"I've heard that from three different people: The real Syaoran, Xing Huo, and now you. I've worked it out by now. I'm just...not ready."

"Well, hurry up," He snarled. I gritted my teeth.

"You don't understand, huh?"

I lied down and pulled the sheet over me. The sensation of being numb was disappearing, being replaced with just being damn freezing. I shivered, and moaned when I started to feel the pain of Kurogane's blow to my head.

He didn't say anything. Finally, he put a hand on my shoulder.

"No, I probably don't."

"None of you."

"Probably not."

I wasn't sure how to respond.

"However, you can't have the princess holding you back. And you can't hold her back. It's for her safety, and to a lesser extent, yours, too."

See? Kurogane came make sense and at least have sympathy on occasion.

"I'd end up going with her. I trust that magician to take care of you."

"...And I trust you to take care of Sakura. But..."

He sighed. "You've had plenty of time for goodbyes."

"I'm not ready to decide. Especially not now...ow, my head..."

He laughed quietly. "Yeah, sorry, but you kind of deserved that."

I whimpered in disagreement. He just stood up and left. I shivered for a while, before finally, I gave up hoping that I'd recover in a couple of minutes and allowed my eyes to fall shut. The sooner we got out of here, the better. I was sure that the real Syaoran was taking almost all of the damage that was intended on me.

When I finally did sleep, there were no dreams.


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

We stayed for a couple of days, much to my impatience. Tomoyo herself came in to check on my arm constantly, though I don't know why she took the time out of her day. Maybe Kurogane had asked her to? I wasn't sure.

Kurogane also didn't let me climb any more trees, despite the fact we did argue about it.

Fai constantly came into the room to be sure I was fine. We talked a bit, but the real Syaoran, Sakura, Kurogane, and the sisters from the high-tech world never came up in the conversations. More or less, they seemed to be avoided.

And the whole time, I spent too many hours wondering if the other Syaoran was alright. Because if he wasn't, then it was all my fault. And was Xing Huo still alive? Probably not. That was also my fault.

Because of this, I could hardly sit still. I often went outside and rested by the sakura tree, where Sakura would often sit down beside me, and we'd talk.

Which makes pretty clear that I wasn't ready to let go of her. She told me she wasn't leaving me any time soon every time she sat down. I never complained.

It sometimes got difficult to look at her, though. She'd been such a beautiful, friendly girl...it was hard to see her as a pale, silver white spirit. It always made me recall her death: a snapped spine and a claw through the heart.

Finally, after three days, I approached Fai.

"I want to leave," I said. I probably looked and sounded like an impatient little twelve year old.

Fai nodded. "I've noticed that you're getting restless. I want Tomoyo to check on your amputated arm one more time before we leave, then we can go if you're ready."

I was sure the only reason we hadn't gone sooner is because they all thought that I wasn't ready. But I was. I had recovered from the whole spirit-destroying incident the first day.

I sat down in my room while Fai went to get Tomoyo. When she came in, she looked a little disappointed.

"Do you really have to go?"

I nodded. "Yeah. This is about Kurogane, isn't it?"

She nodded, biting her lip. "It's...my fault..."

"It's not. It's no one's fault."

She sighed.

"It's funny, no matter how many times you tell someone that, they never believe you."

She laughed dryly. "That's true." She unwrapped the bandages from my shoulder.

"I'm sorry we didn't look after him better," I said, smirking slightly.

"He would kill you if he heard you say that. He doesn't like 'being looked after.'"

I nodded. "Yeah, I know."

She analyzed the stump where my arm had been. I always found it hard to look at, but she didn't.

"It should be just fine," she announced. "I don't think it will get infected unless someone jabs a sword in the socket."

I sat there silently for a moment, then shuddered. "Thanks for _that_ visual."

She just laughed and started to put on a new set of bandages. "Sorry."

Finally, with that finished, I headed to the courtyard. Fai was waiting, but I couldn't see Sakura or Kurogane.

"Are they coming?" I asked, glancing at Mokona.

"Mokona's not sure-"

A cherry blossom fell into my hand. And then someone whacked me in the back of the head and I fell on my face.

As I pushed myself up with one arm, I muttered "I so should've seen that coming."

I wiped the mud off my face with my sleeve as Mokona leapt into the air. Fai was laughing at me while failing to cover it.

"Mokona Modoki, ready to go!" Mokona cried, as it unfurled its white wings.

"Thanks for everything, Tomoyo," I said, nodding my head politely. I saw my kudan materialize beside me.

"Yes, thank you," Blaze said.

Tomoyo smiled. "Look after Kurogane," she said, giggling.

"We will," I said, a smile on my face.

"You are so going to get whacked for that," Blaze said, obviously amused. I laughed.

Tomoyo and the world of Nihon disappeared from sight.

"Fai?" I said quickly, before we were inhaled by Mokona. "I just wanted to let you know that even if it was the real Syaoran talking to you up in the tree, he said what my exact thoughts were. I'm not angry at you for cutting off my arm, at all."

Fai nodded lightly, giving a slight smile. "I'm glad."

Then Mokona inhaled us all and disappeared.


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

We landed in a snowy field, on our feet. Mokona landed on its face beside us. I could just imagine Kurogane saying something about karma.

I helped Mokona up and allowed it to press its face against my shoulder, which I assumed was a lot warmer than the snow.

I turned to look at Fai, and saw his eyes were wide open in horror.

"Is something wrong, Fai...?" I asked slowly, realizing that he was shivering, and not just from the cold.

"Of all the worlds...why here?" He whispered, his voice barely audible.

I wanted to slap him out of whatever stupor he'd fallen into, but I knew that wouldn't be right. Fai was genuinely terrified. It took something pretty bad to do that.

"What's wrong? Where are we?" I asked, grabbing his shoulder and shaking him lightly back and forth.

"Se-Seresu," he finally admitted. This was his home country. This is where he'd been fleeing from since day one, I realized.

"Maybe we should go," I suggested.

He shook his head. "He's awake. He has been since our semi-last day in Nihon. He probably already knows I'm here."

"How'd he wake up?" I asked.

"Bad luck?" Fai guessed.

"Hitsuzen?" Mokona suggested.

"My head hurts," I noticed randomly. They both turned to look at me. "...Oh, sorry."

"No, it's fine, that was just sort of sudden," Fai said.

I nodded. "I know, sorry. Do you want to leave or should we get moving? And if, by chance, we get moving, is there anything about your past that you need to explain?"

There was a long silence as he thought about the question. Finally, he shook his head. "Nothing for me to explain. Come on, let's go."

"What are we looking for?" I asked.

"We're heading up to the castle. One of Sakura's feathers are there."

"So you lied just then," I pointed out. He shook his head.

"I've been lying this whole time."

I blinked. I knew I should probably feel hurt by this, but I wasn't. I was surprised to find that I had actually expected it for a long time now. Still...

"Why? Do you not trust me?"

"Do you trust me?"

I stopped walking. "We all did. I can't speak for Sakura and Kurogane now...but I'd still trust you with my life."

"Even though I'm a liar?"

"Hey, we've all lied." I shrugged. "It's a bit hard to avoid."

He blinked. "I can't really understand where you've lied on this journey."

"...Almost every single time I've said I'm alright since Sakura and Kurogane died." I looked at Mokona on my shoulder. "Was this the code that Xing Huo gave you?"

It shook its head. "...Mokona completely forgot about that."

"It's fine, I think we have several things to work out here, anyway." I glanced at Fai, who avoided my gaze.

"You lead," I said to him. He nodded.

After a bit of walking and some magic, which Fai used, we arrived in the castle. As we proceeded, my headache just got worse and worse. I tried to ignore it, but I guess that after a while, I looked like I was in pain, because Fai glanced over his shoulder and asked "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I said.

"You're lying," he noted.

"Pretty much."

I brought my hand to my forehead, wincing.

Mokona looked concerned. Fai seemed pretty distant.

"Syaoran and Fai are both hurting," Mokona noted.

"The only thing that's hurting is my head," I responded in a quiet whisper.

"Emotionally," it argued.

I smiled half heartedly. "I guess Fai's sudden freak-out's kind of getting on my nerves."

Mokona glanced up at him. "There's things Fai doesn't want Syaoran to know, that's for sure."

I scratched it behind the ears. "I'm sure there are things I'm better off not knowing. Fai's past is his, after all, and it's none of my business."

"And Syaoran's past is his secret, too," Mokona said, but it seemed a bit more like a question.

"Well, other than the fact I was created and thrown onto the street, my past is technically non-existant."

We stopped by a large door.

"Does anyone else live in this country?" I asked. Fai shook his head.

"Dead or gone."

"Except Ashura-san?"

"Except Ashura-_o_. And us."

...Wow, that did not sound promising.

"Ashura-o's bad, isn't he?" I sighed.

He stayed silent for a long time, then said "I'm not exactly sure. I guess so..."

I wasn't exactly sure how to respond, and my head was hurting so much, I didn't exactly want to.

"Are you ready?" Fai asked.

"The real question is, are you?" I said, shrugging. "It's not me who needs to be prepared."

He sighed. "Yeah, I'm ready."

We both opened the door.

Ashura was standing by a small, pond-like circle. Beside him, there was a young boy. I sure as heck didn't recognize him, but Fai did.

"F-Fai..." He said.

The headache I had erupted into something five times worse then it already was. I cried out and fell to my knees, grabbing my forehead with my hand. I started to shiver.

I felt a hand on each shoulder. I didn't need to look up to know who those hands belonged to.

Images started to flash into my head. Images of Fai's past. His twin, Yui. How they were placed in two seperate halves of a valley, and technically, how their lives were made miserable for most of their lives so 'everyone else could be happy.' (Try to imagine how that ended. Come on, I dare you.) My thoughts were clouding up and my head was aching as these images appeared, but I at least had enough grasp on the world to be glad my past wasn't like this.

I was in too much pain to be surprised when Fai was the one who died and not Yui. (Fei-Wang Reed appeared, and said only one of them could live. Either Yui said Fai could die, or Fai wanted to die. I was completely lost when the memory played out.) By this point, I was trying not to kill myself by pressing too hard on my temples.

The whole Fei-Wang Reed and the two curses he placed concept, along with the "Fai is Fei-Wang Reed's pawn and Kurogane is Yuuko's" idea was completely lost on me, because somewhere in the middle, I collapsed. The images of his childhood flickered by like a show that was being watched, and I felt terrible watching them. First it was involuntarily watching Kurogane's past, and now Fai's...?

My head still ached, but by the time the first appearance of Chii was made, I was able to sit upright. I noticed there was someone else helping me out, and at first, I thought it was Sakura. (Kurogane and Fai were fighting. I briefly wondered how I'd missed this, and if this would've happened even if he were still alive. How do you fight a spirit, anyway? I'd have to ask Fai later.)

As I turned around, though, I realized it was not Sakura.

"Come on, mister," the blonde haired woman said. "It's OK, just stand up."

"...Your name's Chii, right...?" I asked bluntly, staggering as she helped balance me.

"Yes." She nodded. "That girl over there..." She glanced at Sakura, who was yelling at Fai and Kurogane to stop.

"The feather...that enables me to exist...is it hers?"

Slowly, I nodded. She frowned. "Should I give it back?"

"...I don't know anymore," I managed.

She glanced at Sakura. "Should I ask her?"

"Maybe when your master and his friend aren't trying to kill each other. Could you explain a bit of what I just saw? I couldn't follow."

"...Fai borrowed his brother's name, if that's what you mean. The Fai you know is Yui. Then Fei-Wang Reed placed a curse on him that made him kill anyone with stronger magic then him. He also has a second curse he can't remember. I was created to look after the body of his brother, Fai, at the bottom of that pond. Ashura is a murderer and wants Fai and or Yui to kill him. Anything else?"

"...Why is Ashura so freaking insane?" The question came out as a slight whisper.

"...Beats me."

I looked up to see that Kurogane and Fai were pretty evenly matched. Sakura looked desperate to make them stop. I looked up and glared at Ashura, who just stared back at me and smiled in contempt.

I gritted my teeth, but I was clearly no large threat.

"Why am I the only one being affected by this?" I asked.

Chii shook her head.

"It's probably something to do with the aura of the room. Maybe only you can sense it? Magic overload? Or maybe you can't take Ashura's prescence because of what a ba-"

She cut off as Kurogane's sword attack and Fai's magic clashed together and completely exploded, sending Kurogane smashing into a wall.

"Fai, he's already dead, knock it off!" I yelled, as loudly as I could manage. He turned to look at me.

"Fai promised to grant my wish: to protect Seresu from anyone or anything dangerous," Ashura said.

"Then he should be trying to kill you, damn it!" I was surprised as the swear left my mouth. After that, I toppled over. Chii stopped me from falling back onto my side.

"What happened to your arm?" She asked.

"Not now," I said.

"I can't do it, Syaoran," Fai said. "I can't kill Ashura. He was the one who got me out of that valley. He was the first one to show me...and Fai...any kindness at all. I can't..."

I sort of understood. If he wasn't already dead, and someone told me I had to kill Fujitaka, my adoptive father, there's no way I'd ever do it.

"I guess that I'll just have to continue what I started," Ashura announced.

With that, spikes started to appear all across the room. Kurogane and Sakura were in no immediate danger, seeing as they were already dead. There was only one target here. That would be...me.

I realized that a bit to late, just as a spike was soaring at my head. Instinctively, my eyes snapped shut and I looked away.

I was surprised when the impact didn't come. I heard a short gasp and I looked up.

Chii had taken the blow for me. Right through the chest. Her figure faded away, revealing one of Sakura's feathers. The feather glowed brightly, then floated towards Sakura. She smiled sadly. "Thank you, Chii," she whispered, as she took the feather from the air. It entered her heart. She didn't fall unconcious, instead, she staggered backwards and collapsed into Kurogane. She lay there, still. I briefly wondered if Ashura could even _see_ Sakura and Kurogane, or if Fai looked like he was fighting air earlier. Maybe Kurogane and not Sakura?

Life was getting far too confusing. And it hurt a lot as well.

I pulled myself to my feet. Fai looked furiously at Ashura, but he wasn't in much of a condition to fight anymore after the battle with Kurogane. Though if you asked me, he had won. Kurogane was unconcious.

"How do you fight a spirit?" I asked Fai, my voice shaking. I'll admit: Nearly getting killed was scary.

"It's a sort of magic," he said lightly, shooting an apologetic glance at Kurogane. I wondered if Kurogane would've made an obscene finger gesture if he were awake.

More spikes formed into the air. I leapt back, dodging them as well as I could. But it didn't take long for me to put one foot in the wrong spot and slip over. I cursed my lack of energy.

"Syaoran!!!" Three different voices yelled this at once, and I could tell Kurogane and Sakura were awake.

I had no idea which direction the spike was coming from, but the first thing I did was throw Mokona off my shoulder. I didn't want it to get hurt.

I forced myself to roll over with my one remaining arm. The worst of the damage was avoided, but the spike slashed through the back of both of my shoulders. I cried out in pain and took in a sharp intake of breath as I felt the warm blood trickle down my back.

Then there was the sound of an explosion. I turned to face Mokona.

"Mokona. Hien. Give it to Fai," I gasped out.

"R-Right!" It said. My sword went flying, and when I heard a hand close around it, that's when I forced myself to sit up.

I probably watched with too little emotion as Fai, in a fit of rage, drove the sword through Ashura's heart.

I shakily got to my feet and took a step forward. Ashura whispered something to Fai that I couldn't hear about the second curse, and then fell down, ominously still.

Fai was crying, I could see.

"Fai...?" I whispered, wondering if he was OK. I didn't think about my injury, instead disregarding it completely.

Fai lifted the blade up over his heart.

"FAI!" I screamed, my voice cracking in horror. He turned to look at me.

"I'm sorry, Syaoran, I can't-" He began.

My thoughts were starting to return to me, and my mind was less foggy. Maybe Chii had been right when she said it had something to do with Ashura. And fear was the only thing that was running through me.

"Fai, you can't kill yourself," I said shakily.

"You can't say what I can or can't do," Fai muttered coldly.

"I'm having a hard time managing my mental stability with two friends dead! I don't think I can handle the death of a third!" It took me a minute to realize that there were tears streaming down my face. I wiped them away, but they were replaced too quickly.

"You're sixteen, Syaoran," Fai said.

"What's your point?" I choked out. Mokona was hopping towards me.

"Fai..." It murmured, crying as well.

"Fai, you're an idiot!" Kurogane snapped. "He's just a kid! A kid who's been through way too much for his age. Do you think it's fair to go and kill yourself when he still needs you!?"

"No one needs me," Fai retorted, shaking his head dejectedly.

"...Fai, you know you're wrong," Sakura disagreed, her voice quivering. "You're making a mistake." They both looked at me.

I probably looked pathetic. I was digging my fingers into the area where my other arm had once been, shivering, and in tears.

"He can look after himself," Fai sighed. I wondered if only I realized how much he was contradicting what he had said a couple of worlds back...

"Fai, there's a powerful man who want's me to die. He's got one more powerful then I am, the one I was cloned off of, in a tank, where he's probably torturing him half to death. He nearly ripped out and disintegrated my soul. And you think I can handle this on my own?" I asked. After this, I bit the inside of my mouth so hard that it bled.

There was a long silence. I knew my point had been made.

"...I'd get killed first. You said so yourself in the city with the three sisters. Then what?"

"Fai, please, lower the sword," Mokona requested, wiping its tears on my sleeve then bawling some more.

"See, look, you've made them both cry," Kurogane said. He knew better then to roll his eyes.

There was a long silence, and then a third sob.

"...You made the children cry," Kurogane clarified, standing up and going to comfort Sakura. She'd been restraining her tears, but the sob had given her away. She rested her head against Kurogane's shoulder. I wondered why she was upset. If Fai commited suicide, he would just join those two. Fai stared at all of us for a moment, then let out along, weary sigh.

"...Take it." Fai held the blade out to Mokona. "Take it before I change my mind. Please."

Mokona didn't need to be instructed further. It inhaled the blade and let out a distressed wail, leaping onto Fai's neck and clinging to it.

Fai stood up and walked over to me.

"It's alright, Syaoran," He muttered, trying to comfort me. He hugged me.

I felt weak, now that I'd stated my fears out in the open: I couldn't handle this alone, even if I wanted to. It had scared me for a long time because I knew it was true. And now that it was hanging out there...

I shivered. Fai patted my back lightly, and said "We're going to need to put bandages on that wound on your shoulders and back."

I quickly recovered myself as I recalled that Fai had been about to commit suicide. I shouldn't be the one getting comforted. I hugged him too, (which must've looked strange, with one arm,) and muttered "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have dropped a guilt bomb on you like that."

"No, no, no, thanks, Syaoran, I needed that." Instantly, I knew he was saying that I was right, and that I would need help. But that was fine, to me. Because at least it meant that I wouldn't be alone. And it meant Fai never had to be either.

"I was worried _I_ was going to have to burst into tears to convince you to live, Fai, for crying out loud."

And, despite myself, I sniggered at Kurogane's words.

"I can't imagine you bursting into tears, Kurogane," I admitted, laughing quietly. Fai was trying to still seem upset, but I could see the smile on his face.

Sakura stood up and pulled Kurogane to his knees. She forced him to hug us as she did the same. Fai had to force me to do a group hug, as well. Only this kind of failed because I only had one arm. So Mokona filled the gap for me.

"I'm sorry-" I began.

"Stop apologizing!" Everyone said simultaneously, but none of them were harsh about it.

I smirked. "Sometimes, I feel it necessary. It's better to apologize then walk around carrying a large weight on your shoulders."

There was a long silence.

"...Then in that case, I'm sorry, Kurogane," Fai commented.

Kurogane laughed. "For what, smashing me into a wall?"

"No, for kicking your butt."

Sakura and I laughed, hard.

"You did not!" Kurogane snarled defensively.

"Admit it, I beat you, badly."

"Yeah, right!"

"What do you think?" I whispered to Sakura.

"...I think Chii won."

I doubled over laughing, despite the fact it wasn't that funny. (Maybe I was imagining Chii in a slap fight with Kurogane.)

Kurogane and Fai finally stopped snapping at one another and smiled.

"I'm sorry that I worried you all," Fai said.

"I'm sorry that I was so weak. I don't know what it was, but it made me really dizzy..." I sighed.

They all exchanged worried glances. "I feel better now," I assured them.

"One of the curses is broken, since I killed Ashura-o..." Fai gave a sad smile. I figured that's what Ashura had been saying.

"It's what he wanted you to do, right?" Kurogane said. He nodded lightly.

"Fai...maybe you should let your brother rest," Sakura suggested tentatively. I knew he was still in the 'pond' in the center of the room.

Fai looked at the floor.

"You can't bring back the dead," I muttered. "Unless you want to go as far as Fei-Wang Reed." I recalled what the real Syaoran had said. 'Try telling Fei-Wang Reed that. It's what he's wanted all along.' No one heard me add this, however.

"And Fai...it wasn't your fault. Your brother's death, I mean."

We all glanced at Kurogane. Those were the last words I'd expected out of _his_ mouth. Fai nodded. "I guess that makes me feel better..." Fai'd been blaming himself for that, too? I had probably missed something, but if it made Fai feel better, I didn't care.

Sakura stood up. "I'm going to retrieve the feather."

She disappeared into the water.

"I'm sorry, Fai..." Fai muttered sadly. I put a hand on his shoulder.

"Twins aren't the ones who spread bad luck, they're the unlucky ones," I said, shrugging.

"You wouldn't know," he muttered.

"Actually...I kind of do. Not exactly, but to a degree..."

He took a minute to see what I was getting at, then he smiled.

"Our lives really do suck," Fai admitted, shaking his head.

"They really do. Our lives are also confusing, and they hurt. But at least we're not alone."

There was a glow from the pond, and we all knew Sakura had gotten Fai's feather.

"That feather at the start...did you bring it along with you? Yukito-san said that there was none in Clow, so it couldn't have been on my clothing." I had pieced it together when Fai had received two feathers in the flashbacks, and had been wacking myself mentally for not figuring it out earlier.

"...Yeah, I had it at the start."

"Without you, Sakura would've died. Thanks."

He smiled slightly.

"I hope my twin's spirit is happy."

"I'm sure he will be," I said.

"Ming will look after him," Kurogane assured him with a shrug.

"OK, who's Ming?" I asked impatiently. He didn't answer, instead saying "I'm going to be sure the princess is concious" and stepping into the pond.

Fai and I stayed silent until he came back up.

"The answer, by the way, is no."

He pulled himself out of the water, carrying Sakura.

"Ah, the joys of blood," Fai said randomly. I cocked my head curiously.

"...Your blood's dripping across the floor."

I noticed that he was right as I glanced backwards. That wound...

"...I think it's numb," I decided.

"We should probably find bandages and hope it doesn't get infected."

I nodded, then looked at Mokona, who leapt into the air.

"Mokona Modoki, ready to go!" It announced.

"Don't punch me in the back of the head again, please," I commented to Kurogane, who laughed.

"I've got my hands full right now, anyway, maybe next time," he joked. (Or was it a joke...? It sounded like it, but I've been wrong before.) My first instinct was to say "Wow, you just made a joke! Who are you and what have you done with Kurogane?" but I knew better then to say something like that. I just smiled, shook my head, and glanced back at Fai.

"Stay strong, alright?" I said quietly, feeling like a total hypocrite. I guess it would've sounded hypocritical, no matter who had said it, but I felt it had to be said.

"I will if you do," he promised. I nodded.

"Mokona! That code Xing Huo gave you. Use that!" I called.

"Right!" Mokona squeaked. A light green aura blended in with the usual magic that surrounded us before we were engulfed.

_Author's Note: If you didn't get what Syaoran was watching in this chapter, you'll have to read Fai's past. Manga's 20 and 21 cover it, or you can just read it online._


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

_Crack!_

The second we hit the floor, a tree branch snapped and I knew something was up. I instantly jerked to my feet, spinning around towards the sound. I could hear the sound of footsteps, and they weren't well covered. Though they appeared to be coming closer, it didn't take long for them to suddenly fade out and disappear.

"...I'm not sure, but I think-" I began. I then felt a huge force smash into me from the side and knock me to the floor.

"Them?" Fai asked, signalling to the wave of Fei-Wang Reed's henchmen that had appeared. There was about fifteen men.

"Pretty much," I said, kicking out at the one pinning me down. I received a vicious blow to the head. I winced, and caught his foot on his second attempt, throwing him downwards. There were others nailing me down before I could get up.

"A little help, please!?" I asked desperately. It was hard to fight when you only had one arm and you were technically face down in the dirt.

"I'm working on it!" Fai snapped, a little impatient. I knew he was working on it, but as I was having poison tipped claws slashed down my back and getting kicked repeditively, I kind of hoped he'd hurry up.

I tripped over another one of the men, trying to pull to my feet, only to be elbowed in the stomach. I double over.

The group was suddenly brushed aside. None of them were hurt, but I was out of their grasp. I shot a grateful glance Fai and straightened out, as the henchman came running back. I spun around, kicking one of them in the face then unsheathing my sword.

This continued for a while. By the end, Fai and I were both panting for breath, and all of the henchman had either run or were dead on the ground.

"...I think we're about to get ambushed," I finished my earlier statement. We both laughed.

There was more shuffling and snapping branches.

"Run!" Fai hissed.

"I was about to!" I said back, not harshly, and spun around and fled.

I could hear we were being followed, so I picked up my pace, Fai beside me.

"How's your back and shoulder wound?" Fai asked between breaths.

"It's fine," I lied. It had been reopened, and my blood was probably visibly running down my back. But there was no point in worrying Fai, if he didn't see it.

"When there's a trail of red behind you, then I know you're a liar."

"OK, I'm hurt, does it really matter now?"

Fai was about to respond, when suddenly, his eyes widened, and he slowed to a stop.

"We're not losing them," he announced. "They track magic." I cringed.

"More fighting, it looks like?" I said.

"You go ahead-" Fai began.

"You only wish."

We turned the tables by charging at the henchmen, so when we came barreling at them, needless to say, they were surprised.

We knocked them all out and threw them into a river Fai heard was nearby.

We then walked aimlessly for a long while until we found an abandoned house not too far away from the river. We knew immediately it was abandoned because it was in such a bad condition.

We pushed the door open and found a bunch of rats and spiders.

"...Maybe we should look somewhere else," I suggested, making a face.

"I doubt we'll find any other houses. I say we clear it out," Fai sighed.

"Can you use magic?" I asked. "I'd rather..._not_ need to touch any spiders or rats today."

"Nor would I, actually. Maybe we can have Sakura's spirit deal with them," Fai laughed.

"Or Kurogane."

I could hear their voices in the wind: _"Keep us out of this!"_

I sniggered. Fai was clearly amused.

"Stand back," Fai ordered. I took a step backwards, and Fai let out a large wave of magic at the animals in the room. They all started darting out the door, windows, and some of them even coming towards us.

Fai whistled. I remembered seeing him do this once in the Country of Recort. It produced a barrier, but not as big this time as it had been there. It just stopped us from getting attack by rats with rabies.

"Just our luck," I grumbled.

"Come on, let's inspect this place a bit further before we rest." With that, we both walked inside.

We had to use this method for a couple more rooms. I wasn't all that balanced on my feet, probably because of more poison, but I didn't really notice it was that bad until Fai turned to look at me.

"Syaoran, if you need support to walk, then you _need_ to sit down."

I didn't exactly know what he was talking about until I realized I was leaning on his shoulder and my breath was coming out in ragged gasps.

"...Oops," I muttered.

"Don't tell me you're going to be fine, this time, we've established you lie about that a bit."

"Is everything I say going to be used against me? What is this, the court of law?"

"No, it's just a giant house full of rats and spiders, now sit down."

We walked into the final room, which contained a bed that didn't look all that comfortable and a bookshelf, which was empty. There were no rats, or spiders, Fai made sure of that before he half allowed me, half forced me to lie down.

He lightly placed a hand on my forehead. "Fever," he sighed. "I wonder if there's any way to get some water around here."

"You can ask Yuuko," Mokona suggested, poking out of Fai's pocket.

"Couldn't you have helped Fai out earlier?" I asked.

"Far as I recall, Syaoran wasn't doing much either," Mokona complained.

"I don't have magic," I responded.

Before we could continue, Fai shook his head. "Mokona, you've been carrying around a small water supply for a while. Do you have any left?"

Mokona spit out a bottle of water. I couldn't exactly remember where this had come from.

"Got it from Amber," he said shortly when he saw my expression. I nodded.

He picked it up. "Actually, it's full, I never gave you yours. Oops."

"I'm not complaining," I said, my eyes falling half shut. He put the bottle in my hand and turned around. "I'm going to clear up this house a bit more."

I tried to sit up.

"Syaoran, remember that habit you had of working yourself too hard? You're doing it again."

"So are you," I muttered.

"I'm not poisoned."

I definitely couldn't respond to that. He left Mokona and I in the room, shutting the door behind him.

Mokona twisted the cap off the bottle.

"I don't remember this thing at all," I admitted.

"I think Syaoran and Mokona were sitting on top of flaming panels in the sky when Fai received them. Mokona got them when Syaoran went to bed."

It didn't let me say anymore as it pressed the opening of the bottle into my mouth.

"I can handle it-" I began.

"Just be a good little puppy and drink the water!" Mokona said, giggling.

I would've either snorted, glared, or laughed, or all three, but it was sort of hard when there was a rabbit forcing a bottle of water into my mouth.

With that overwith, I rolled over and closed my eyes. Mokona put the bottle down and pulled up the sheets. I didn't really want them, but since Mokona had gone out of its way, I didn't tell it that. I just muttered "Thank you, Mokona," and fell asleep.


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER TWENTY

I woke up with a headache. Everything was sort of fuzzy, and I was freezing cold. The bed sheets weren't doing much to help.

"Syaoran's awake!" Mokona squeaked. I looked around to try and find out where it was, but I didn't see it until it was on my shoulder.

"How's Syaoran feeling?" It asked. "Syaoran doesn't look so good."

"I feel like crap, actually," I admitted.

"Fai came down with poisoning, too," Mokona whimpered.

"So he lied," I muttered. "You think I would have worked that out by now."

Mokona shrugged. "Fai's pretty good at lying." Mokona put one of its paws on my forehead. "Fever," it said.

"Picked that up from Fai?"

"Uh-huh."

I put a hand on my throat, and suddenly started coughing.

Mokona forced me to sit upright before pulling open a dusty window and pushing my head towards it.

I doubled over the window and threw up. As soon as I finished, I fell heavily back down on the bed.

"Where's Fai?" I asked, my voice a bit rough. I coughed to try and clear it out.

"Sleeping on the couch," Mokona said.

I attempted to stand up.

"No!" Mokona cried.

"I'd assume the bed is more comfortable than the couch, and if that's the case, I don't want Fai sleeping on the couch."

"Lie down!" Mokona said forcefully, as if talking to a stubborn dog.

"Am I ever going to live that whole 'becoming my kudan' thing down?" I asked.

"Probably not," Mokona muttered.

I stood up, despite Mokona's disagreeing mutters, and staggered down the hall.

Fai looked about five times worse then I did. He was pale, his breathing was shallow, and unlike me, who was freezing cold, he was sweating.

I had to use all the energy I had to pick him up. This failed, big time, because Fai was a lot bigger then I was.

"Let me help," I heard Kurogane sigh, and I felt most of the weight taken away from me (much to my relief).

"Thanks," I said.

"You guys are both sick, I guess," Kurogane said, shaking his head.

"Syaoran just bombed Tokyo," Mokona put in.

We both glanced at it.

"...Did not," I protested lightly. "I did throw up, though."

"Same thing," Mokona squeaked.

I didn't ask.

We placed Fai down lightly on the bed.

"Thanks."

With that, I turned around and made my way back down the hall before collapsing on the couch.

I felt a light hand on my back.

"I hope you feel better soon," Sakura murmured.

"Thanks. But please, look after Fai. I'll recover on my own. Fai...I'm not sure that he wants to recover."

"What makes you think-"

"He just tried to commit suicide earlier today?"

"Yesterday, actually, you've been out for a day."

"...Right. Anyway, recently."

"Kurogane can take care of him."

"You take care of him too. Please, Sakura."

She sighed and gave a nod. "I will."

My eyes fell shut. "I hope this just passes over. I need to help out the other Syaoran. I'm sure what he's going through is fifteen times worse."

Sakura didn't respond. I knew that no one else really cared for the other Syaoran (with the possible exception of Fai,) but I owed him. I technically owed him for my entire existence, along with my concience and soul. I had to help him out. No one deserved to be where I knew he was.

And as soon as I felt better, I was going to look around. Xing Huo had said I could locate where the real Syaoran was in this world. However this was possible, I would work it out. Right now, I just needed to sleep.

I could hear Mokona hop over to me. It placed something cold into my hand.

"Aqua said aventurine was healing, right? Feel better soon, Syaoran."

I smiled as I drifted off to sleep.


	21. Chapter 21

I probably would've recovered faster if I'd lied down and rested a couple of days. Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on the point of view you're taking, I was too stubborn to do this. After I woke up the next day, I got up and started to look around the house.

This got me into trouble when I encountered Kurogane. He caught me as I was heading to a different room we'd cleaned up earlier, that was full of dusty old books.

He was standing at the entrance, his arms folded, glaring at me.

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked irritably.

"I was going to read something," I answered hesitantly.

"Go sit back down."

"No, I've done enough resting."

"You look like you're about to throw up again."

"As a matter of fact, I am."

"Get out of here!"

I changed tactics. I had to do this fast, because I wasn't joking when I said I was about to throw up.

"Just one book."

He snorted. "Fine, but first, we need to find you a window."

There was one in Fai's room, so we went back there. I grasped the ledge and threw up. As I shakily stood up, I asked "Do I even have anything left in my stomach to throw up?"

He shrugged. "Hell if I know."

As we turned to leave the room, I glanced back at Fai. He looked worse. I figured I must've too, and that's why Kurogane was angry at me.

"Is he going to get better?" I asked nervously.

"He should, but you might not."

"Go figure."

I entered the room and quickly skimmed the labels for something that was in a language I could read. I soon found what I was looking for: A history of the country we were in. The symbols were a bit hard to decipher, but I could understand the language, so I took it off the shelf. It was a heavy book, but I pretended not to struggle while simultaneously trying not to drop the thing on my foot.

I collapsed back on the couch. I hated feeling so weak. I also was worried about Fai now, too.

"Do you even have the energy to read that?" He asked.

"I have to," I sighed.

"No you don't."

"If there's anything that can help me release the real Syaoran from that prison he's in, it's here. Xing Huo said."

He gritted his teeth, and immediately, I knew there was something wrong. He must've held something against the real Syaoran. I had a feeling it was something obvious, but I wasn't getting it.

"He's the reason I'm alive," I added.

"He's the reason I'm dead!" Kurogane yelled.

...Right, I forgot about that, and it took me back to my mental freak out back at the world after Hanshin. I wasn't exactly sure how to respond. It took me a while to find my voice, but I finally did.

"The only reason I'm talking to you now is because he changed our destination. I wasn't told what would've happened if he hadn't done it, but I know I would be trying to murder people."

"Yes, but the Princess would be alive, I would be alive, and Fai wouldn't have tried to kill himself."

"You don't know that. Maybe it's better this way."

"I'm dead!! What's so great about that!? It only helps you!"

"I don't know how to respond to that!" I retorted.

"It would've been better for the majority if you'd lost your so--"

He cut short, realizing what he was about to say, but the damage was already done.

"Leave," I whispered. The look on his face showed he didn't hear me.

"Get out of here!" I yelled. I didn't want to see his face anymore. I didn't want to talk to him.

He turned around and left without another word.

The real reason I was shaken, though, is because he was probably right. I'd worked this out long ago and shoved it aside, but now, I couldn't just go on doing that.

I wasn't sure if Sakura or Kurogane would've died if the real Syaoran had just sat around and watched. The only one who had really been saved was me. And I did owe him for that, but no one else did. Kurogane had made it quite clear that he hated the other Syaoran for the same reason I had to free him. I didn't know Sakura's opinion on the matter, or Fai's.

I coughed into my hand, and felt blood splatter onto it as I did so. Yelling at Kurogane wasn't one of my better ideas, especially with my throat rubbed raw, which had happened somehow, but I must've been unconcious (or asleep, not much of a difference these days,) what it did.

_He started it,_ I thought miserably, though I couldn't really remember if that was true anymore.

I lied down on my stomach and opened the book. Just because Kurogane hated him, and had a problem with me still being around, it didn't mean I still owed him less.

I flipped through the pages and had to try my hardest not to fall asleep on it. Finally, I stopped at a page about the river. Apparently, it was the river we'd dumped Fei-Wang Reed's henchmen into.

_**"This river ends at a small lake. It is rumored that long ago, the water was enhanced with magic. It's also rumored that a kind magician or mage drowned in that pool but still has enough generosity to help out anyone who passes by. Some even say it's an alternate dimension. Whatever the cause, this pool of water will grant one wish to the person who taps its surface, if the wish is within its power."**_

...And that's sort of where I fell asleep on the book. Hey, I'm only human.


	22. Chapter 22

fI woke up several hours later. It was pitch black, which led me to state the obvious and assume it was nighttime.

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. I picked up the book, recalling what I had read before I fell asleep. My kudan appeared beside me, lighting up the room. I nodded my thanks, opened it, and read the passage again.

"Do you think requesting to know where the Real Syaoran is located and maybe even receiving a code is beyond its power?" I asked softly. Blaze looked over my shoulder, read the passage as well, and then shrugged.

"I can't say, I think by 'beyond it's power,' they're referring to something like bringing back the dead, ruling the world, or becoming God."

I nodded. "We've all established that you can't bring back the dead."

I shut the book.

"I should probably try to find it as soon as possible."

"You're thinking tonight, aren't you?"

I nodded. "But that'd be suicide, so I'll just wait."

"What about talking to Fai?"

I fell silent. "I'm not sure he's well enough. Besides, if Fei-Wang Reed's henchman are tracking his magic..." I let the sentence hang. Blaze nodded after a moment.

"True. If' you're not headed out right now, then you should probably go to sleep."

To say I wasn't tired (still) would be lying. I looked on the floor for a moment, and my eyes caught sight of the aventurine crystal. Of course I'd dropped it. I stood, picked it up, and gripped it tightly.

"I hope I feel a bit better tomorrow, I really want to get moving."

"Even if Kurogane is clearly pissed that you want to go rescue the one who got him killed?"

"It-It's not his fault," I insisted."He didn't know it would happen. Besides, it wasn't like he drew the sword and stabbed him, or was the giant kudan monster who killed him."

Blaze nodded slightly. "Kurogane doesn't seem to be thinking that way."

"But he said the exact sort of thing to Tomoyo, so why's he so angry at the other Syaoran?"

He sighed. "I don't know, you owe him more, so you're more likely to think of him in a positive light. Kurogane doesn't, thus, the other way around."

I muttered agreement, shaking my head.

"Life is still too confusing," Blaze finally mumbled.

"Welcome to my world." With that, I fell asleep.

*

I woke up the next morning, and surprisingly, I felt a little better. I had more energy, and I didn't feel so tired anymore.

The only problem was that I still felt the need to throw up.

So, I went to Fai's room to throw up and check on Fai.

He was awake, but he looked utterly exhausted.

"Don't tell me that I'm working myself too hard then overwork yourself," I complained before keeling over the window.

"What's he doing?" Fai asked Mokona.

"Tossing the cookies."

"What?"

"...Decorating the pavement. A techni-color burp. Visiting Europe-"

"Where's that?"

"Not important. Bowing down to the porcelain God. Digestive pyrotechnics-"

"Big words, nice one, Mokona," I retorted irritably over my shoulder before throwing up some more. Couldn't Mokona just be specific instead of confusing Fai? I assumed Fai had already worked it out, though, because gagging out the contents of your stomach isn't exactly soundless.

"Going bluuuugh, at his organ recital-"

"Good one," Fai remarked dryly.

"For the love of crap, Fai, I'm throwing up, OK?"

He smirked. "Ah."

Mokona burst out laughing while I finished what I started.

"Are you alright?" Fai finally asked.

"Yes, and I think I just expanded my vocabulary."

"Who knew throwing up could be educational?" He laughed.

"'Educational' my foot."

Then the door swung open.

"Did Syaoran finally throw up his stomach?" Kurogane retorted.

"Leave me alone, Kurogane, I'm not in the mood to put up with you!"

Kurogane seemed surprised for a minute, then his hands rolled into fists.

"Who do you think you're talking to!?"

"Do I care!?"

"You should!" He unsheathed his sword.

"You're dead. I doubt you can kill me."

"Don't push your luck, Syaoran, he can still hurt you," Fai warned.

"I don't care, nor does he. If you don't want to leave, I will. I hope you feel better soon, Fai." I turned around and attempted to leave the room.

Maybe it was a bit bratty of me, and I'm not sure how to defend those actions other then saying that if someone you thought was your friend wished you had lost your soul and or died, you would be sort of hurt, too.

Kurogane barred my way.

"What do you want?" I asked darkly.

He just glared at me.

"I was going to apologize, but you're not ready to hear it."

"No, I'm not," I admitted. "I have something I need to see to right now, and it's important. Can I please leave, Kurogane-san?"

With that, he got out of my way and I left the room.

"You could've let him apologize," Blaze said, materializing beside me.

"What's the point of listening if I'm not actually going to hear him out?"

"Did it hurt your feelings that much?" Blaze already knew the answer, I could tell, but I told him anyway.

"No, it was the fact that he was right, and that it most likely would've been better for the majority of the group if I was a soulless murderer."

"By the way, Kurogane and Fai heard that," Blaze remarked.

"...This really _is_ starting to feel like the court of law," I noted with exasperation.

"Who's the judge?"

"I don't know."

"Who's the witness?'

"Well, according to you, Kurogane and Fai."

"Who's the defendant?"

"Does it really matter?" I sat back down in the main room.

"What did you throw up?"

"Can you stop asking me questions I can't answer?"

He laughed.

"Anyway," I said, cutting in. Then I brought my voice to a low whisper. "I want to get moving, right now. The sooner we leave, the better."

"You should probably leave Fai a note," Blaze suggested.

"Saying what?" I asked doubtfully.

"'Some things I do have to do on my own, and this is one of them?' After all, the task only seems to be important to you. And me."

"How's it important to you?" I asked.

"He's sort of the reason I exist, too."

I nodded slightly. "I guess so. Where do we get paper?"

Blaze flipped to the back of the book, and ripped out a blank sheet of paper.

"Ink?" I asked.

He pointed the horn on his forhead out. "I can write for you."

"Language?"

"...That's where I'm stuck."

"Well, write the message, and if he needs a translator, he can get Sakura. If you and I don't speak the same language, I'll help you write it."

He nodded, and wrote the message down before leaving it on the sofa.

"Let's go."

Blaze and I both quietly sneaked out of the house. (Not sure if sneaking is the right word. No one was looking for us, so it wasn't hard.) Blaze turned into an orb and floated by my shoulder so he made less noise. I tried my best to shut the door silently. Then I turned towards the forest.

"Are you even sure you're up to this?" Blaze asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, I might want to throw up one more time, but other then that..."

"Do you need a window?"

"We're outside."

He laughed. "I know."

I rolled my eyes.

"Anyway, lets get going."

"Are you going to talk to Huey before or after we go to the lake?"

"We don't need more ways to say throw up, thank you, Blaze," I retorted. After that, I answered his question by saying "Probably during" and darting off through the trees.

I heard his pawsteps behind me. "Calling to Ralph!" He barked.

"God, shut up!"

As we moved deeper into the trees, we grew quiet. If someone was going to jump out at us, we wanted to hear it.

It was the sound of a snapping twig that gave it away.

The henchman knew that'd he'd been caught and didn't try to hide anymore, leaping at me.

I ducked, swerved to the right, and Blaze smashed the horn on his forehead into the man's side. The man fell the floor, unmoving. At the same time, another man came in and wrapped his hand around my neck, pointing a dagger to my heart.

"Don't you dare attack me, wolf," The man snarled at Blaze.

Blaze bristled, his fierce eyes on the dagger. The man started to back off.

"I wouldn't be worried about him," I snapped after a long silence, and I kicked my leg back. I nailed him either in the ankle or...well, somewhere else. He was so surprised that his grip loosened, and with that, I drove my elbow back into his stomach. This weakened his grip further, and I pulled my neck free, spinning around and kicking him in the face. I'm sure he never wanted to learn what my shoe tasted like, but that wasn't exactly my problem.

He fell backwards, and Blaze sprinted ahead of me. I took the dagger, then darted to catch up with him.

"It's like they thought I wouldn't defend myself," I panted.

"Well, when there's a dagger over your heart, most people don't have the guts."

"They've got their thought process wrong, then."

I listened for the sound of the the river that connected to the lake. At the same time, I could hear the footsteps of the man who had the dagger behind us. Blaze turned around, and there was the sound of something bursting into flames. And screaming. While they were busy with that, I doubled over and threw up in a bush.

"Hairball?" Blaze asked as he came back.

When I finished, I had to hold back the urge to slap him.

"OK, I'm good. The river's that way. We just follow it to the lake."

As we ran, we were ambushed by other henchman, but I was surprised that the closer we got, the less there were. I would've expected it the other way around. Finally, we stopped at the river we'd been to several days before.

"Which way?" I asked. He shrugged. He turned to the left and I nervously followed.

He was correct, too. I was glad to be here, but I questioned the powers the lake had been supposedly granted. It seemed pretty normal to me. But I doubted there would be so many henchman here if the book had been wrong.

I got onto my knees beside the water. Blaze backed off slightly. "This is where you deal with things," he said. He turned into a ball of flame and entered my heart.

I took a breath, trying not to feel a little bit ridiculous, then I looked over the water's ledge at my reflection. I wasn't sure what to expect. Slowly, I placed my fingers against the water's surface. The ripples spread out. I waited silently, just staring at the image of me, looking back at me.

I was startled when my reflection cocked its head.

I stared, unsure of what to do next.

"You're here because you have a wish, right?" The voice was my own, and it was coming from the pool.

"Y-Yeah..."

"Lets hear it, than."

"...This is strange."

"I hear that a lot. No one understands spirits and magic, I guess."

"Huh? No, I do...wait, am I having a conversation with my reflection?"

My reflection laughed. "I guess so. I am just an image of you in a river, from what you can see. But, if I'm correct, you're just an image of someone else, too?"

My eyes widened. Then I looked away. "Yes. And I wanted to get the code for the dimension the original is located in. That's why I'm here."

"I thought you were going to ask for another arm," He admitted, blinking in surprise. "Or to bring back some of those dead ones you have at the house you're currently taking refuge in."

"Bringing back the dead is probably beyond your powers, am I right?"

"Yes. If I could bring back the dead, I'd have brought myself back long before now."

"Who are you?" I asked.

"...I'm the spirit of these forests. I died...I don't even know how long it was ago. I look after everything here. I was reluctant at first, but now I enjoy it." He shrugged. "Ming told me it was an important task, and that I was likely the only one up to it. Enough talking to the water. I can grant your wish, but whatever danger might arise from it is beyond my control. The two things I can't do are bring back the dead and control others."

I nodded. "I understand." I had to stop myself from asking "Who the hell is Ming!?"

My image disappeared, and I felt the code entering my arm. As it did, the water's surface glimmered and started to show a completely different image. I didn't recognize it at all until I saw the capsule that I'd been trapped in during the soul switch. I was looking at the dimension I was receiving the code for. Two things caught my eye immediately. The first was, of course, the capsule. The problem was the color. The liquid inside was red. And that worried me. I could see the other Syaoran, barely, but I couldn't make out any injuries, though I could say without a doubt that they were there.

The other thing was the blood-stained figure against the wall. Xing Huo. Her eyes were blank, and there was a sword through her stomach. My eyes fell shut. "Thank you, and I'm sorry," I whispered to no one.

Suddenly, the image flickered out and the lake showed another scene. It seemed to the same place, but a different room. And Fei-Wang Reed was glaring at me on the other side.

I stared for a moment, then attempted to draw my hand back. However, I realized my arm was not going to respond on its own.

A grin appeared on his face and his hand shot from the water, wrapping itself around my neck before I could even work out what was going on. My eyes widened in surprise, and I attempted to draw back, but I found that my whole body, not just my arm, frozen into place. His grip was slowly starting to tighten. I struggled to breathe. I couldn't make a sound.

"Not this time," he snarled at me. I tried to summon my Kudan, but this worked about as well as my attempts to run.

Somewhere in the distance, there was the sound of something crackling, but my thoughts were clouding, because the grip on my neck had become so tight I couldn't breathe at all.

The next second, I was wondering why the forest was upside down.

"Get up!" Fai's voice commanded. I scrambled to my feet. "Get out of there!" He snapped, and I couldn't tell if he was upset, anxious, or angry. Either way, I listened, but only when I was sure he was following, which he was.

Even after we broke through the clearing, I felt like I had to run further. I was, needless to say, fairly shaken.

"Fai?" I panted. "Remember when I said that you couldn't commit suicide, otherwise I'd have no chance of freeing the real Syaoran, because I'd get killed first? I think I just proved myself right."

"What did you think you were doing, Syaoran?" Fai asked.

"I was receiving the code for the next world," I said after a long silence.

"And was there a reason you needed to this alone?"

"...You were sick."

"So were you."

"I feel better-"

"Actually, when you were out there, you sort of made a techni-color tribute to Hanshin," Blaze said as he appeared beside me.

"You're just making up new versions of the word 'vomit' to annoy me now, aren't you?" I grumbled.

"Pretty much."

"Any other reason?" Fai cut in.

I fell silent, wondering how many long silences there would be in this conversation. "You were sick, and I didn't want your magic to get tracked."

He nodded. "Understandable, seeing as when I went after you, I got attacked, probably by more henchmen then you did."

"It would explain where they all went, actually."

He shook his head. "If you're going to try and accomplish something on your own, be sure you can handle it first. Oh, also, if you don't want to get followed, might I suggest you don't leave the book you got the information from lying around?"

Sakura and Kurogane appeared beside Fai.

"What did you say you were doing?" Sakura retorted, looking upset, and angry.

I didn't like it when Sakura was upset or angry with me, and since she was both, that's probably why the next thing I tried to say resulted in a train wreck.

I had a sentence in mind, but when I opened my mouth, it came out as "P--f--", an arg of frustration, 't--l..."

"...I give up," I said after the letter 'l.'

"...What?" Sakura asked, confused.

**"...Well, I think I just said 'pfargtl,' but..." I cut short, unsure of how to back that up.

And then she burst out laughing.

"Is that even a word!?"

"Does it sound like a word?"** Kurogane asked her irritably.

"Maybe in another dimension?" I suggested, feeling myself going red in the face.

"Here's the problem, Syaoran: I can never stay mad at you," Sakura giggled, wiping tears from her eyes.

"Here's the real problem: I can," Kurogane snarled.

"I thought as much," I responded.

"Now try repeating yourself, and in a language that actually exists, or you'll regret it."

"Well, what I was _trying_ to say was '**p**lease **f**orgive me, I was headed over **t**o the **l**ake,' and to continue that, I was headed to the lake to get the code for a world." I didn't say which world, because Kurogane probably just would've gotten more frustrated. Besides, I could tell he'd worked it out on his own.

"Try thinking about your own life before someone elses."

"I didn't know Fei-Wang Reed was going to try and strangle me!" I said. And then I fell quiet for a moment. "Wait, you didn't know that yet, did you?"

"What!?" Sakura yelped, confirming the fact the answer was 'no.'

"Actually, he was about to pull you into the lake," Fai said.

"That's news to me, too," I muttered.

"I doubt he had planned on just killing you on the spot. I figure he was going to make it a whole lot worse."

"...I get it, I get it," I muttered, shaking my head. "I should've had you join me, and I should consider the consequences before doing something stupid. I know that."

"Then why did you-"

"It's not like I knew Fei-Wang Reed could do that!"

There was a long silence. "Lets head inside. We've both received some injuries, and that one on your back and shoulders never got seen to."

I walked through the door as the sound of thunder rumbling across the sky was heard.

As Fai walked through the door beside me, I took out the dagger I'd stolen from Fei-Wang Reed's henchman and handed it to him.

"I have a sword. I don't need this. You should take it. I hope you don't ever need it, but..."

He took it. "Thanks, Syaoran. I hope I won't need it either, but it's better than being unprotected."

He turned the corner, and I walked straight forward. I sat down on the couch and sighed.

I had considered the dangers before I had decided to go for it. I just hadn't considered the fact the group would be this upset with me. I should've known.

"Life is just a pile of angst sometimes, isn't it?" Blaze asked, jumping onto the sofa. "Angst, self loathing, and regret."

"I feel like everything that can go wrong will," I mumbled, shaking my head. "Like in those fictional stories where the authors can't make anything work in a character's favor until the ending."

"I know the feeling." Blaze lied down. "What's funny is no one's yelling at me."

"Lucky you. You just get to sit down and decide how you're going to say 'throw up' next."

He laughed, wagging his tail.

"Are you still even connected to my soul?" I asked.

"Yeah, I've just grown an independant mind in the one hundred and twenty eight years that my master was out doing something else."

"I thought you would find another master."

"No one else like you appeared on the world of Hanshin. And if they did, they were killed before I found them."

"How long to plan on keeping up with this adventure?"

"Until you don't need me. It seems like that might be a long time."

"Maybe."

Sakura came into the room at that moment, and I looked over at her.

"I'm sorry," I muttered.

"I think Fai's just worried about you," She sighed as she sat down on the sofa next to me. "We all are. Are you hurt?"

"A couple of scratches. Nothing terrible."

"I think Kurogane's just upset," Sakura continued.

"It's hard to imagine why."

"Well, you two were yelling at each other and I think he regrets saying that you losing your soul would've been better for everyone else." She shook her head.

"Even if he regrets it, it doesn't change the fact that it's what he thinks, and that it's the truth."

"It's not. He didn't consider me."

I glanced at her questioningly.

"If you had lost your soul, I probably would've been a giant wreck."

I didn't respond.

"Did you get the code you were after?"

"Yes, and I had a pleasant conversation with my reflection, who mentioned Ming."

"So the magic surrounding the lake is a spirit, then?"

I worked out that she'd read the chapter where the lake was mentioned. Also...

"Ming deals with spirits," I reasoned.

She gave a slight nod. "I can't say any more."

I groaned, banging my head against the back of the sofa.

"Remember when I mentioned those emotions earlier? I left out frustration," Blaze said, rolling onto his side. Sakura gave me a questioning look. I shrugged.

"Long story."

"Not really," Blaze said.

"...It's just not important."

Sakura shrugged. "I understand."

"Good," Blaze and I responded in unison.

She put a hand on the place where my arm had once been. "Is that healing well?"

"Yeah, it's strange to not have it there, though."

Lightly, she grabbed the back of my shirt and pulled it downwards. For a moment, I wondered what she was doing, and then I remember the wound on the back of my shoulders. When she winced, I figured it looked pretty bad. She unwrapped the bandages from my arm. "You should probably put these on your back."

I stood up. "OK."

I left to an empty room, took off my shirt, and wrapped the bandages around my shoulders before putting it back on.

There was a knock on the door as I poked my head through the neck hole.

"Come in," I called.

The door opened, and Kurogane stepped in. I kept my eyes from narrowing. He walked right over to me and stopped. When his hand twitched, I braced myself to get whacked. Hard. Instictively, I drew my remaining arm in front of my face.

Which did little to soften the blow I received in the stomach.

I doubled over and coughed up whatever air was in my lungs before falling to the floor.

"I deserved that," I concluded when I remembered how to inhale.

"You did," Kurogane agreed.

"And you deserved this."

Before he could react, I spun around on my left foot and kicked him in the face with my right. He staggered backwards and stared at me. He appeared to be deciding whether to praise me, yell at me, or try to kill me.

"You're tough, brat," he finally said.

"...I'll take that." I responded, straightening out.

"...So, are you still angry?" He asked, cocking his head.

"...Well, I want to stop being angry, and upset, and angsty, and just get out of the way what I need to do. So no, I guess I'm not."

Kurogane smirked.

"And...I have no right to ask this..." I added, almost inaudibly. He heard me and cocked his head.

"...I was wondering...if you could teach me 'Hama Ryu-o-Jin.'" I winced. He seemed surprised. After a moment, he shrugged. "Maybe after we rescue the other kid from that other dimension."

"...You know, if I were anyone else, that would be so vague that I wouldn't get it."

He considered his words, then laughed. "Yeah, probably not."

I sighed. "I'm sorry, Kurogane. I shouldn't have kicked you."

"And I shouldn't have punched you."

"...No, I did deserve that."

"And I deserved the kick. Drop it."

He left the room.

"You know life's gone horribly wrong when Kurogane's not angry at you for kicking him. Am I dreaming?" I asked, rubbing my eye.

"No, I whacked him earlier, too," Fai said, walking into the room.

"...I wish I'd been there to see it," I laughed. Fai laughed, too.

"You suceeded in getting the code, right?" Fai asked. "If so, we can get some rest and get moving tomorrow."

My first instinct was to say 'we should go now.' I recalled how the real Syaoran had feel floating in red liquid, which had originally been blue. I had an unsettling feeling that it was red because of his blood.

But Fai was right, and I probably did need rest.

"OK," I said.

He nodded. He turned around, but looked over his shoulder and said "I know you're desperate. But try to think logically, OK?"

"I'm sorry, alright? And I was thinking logically."

He nodded one more time and left.

I exited the room and sat back down on the couch, where Blaze was trying to stop Sakura from scratching his belly.

"This never gets old, even when you're not Blaze, Syaoran," Sakura laughed.

"Stop it!" Blaze barked, but he was laughing.

"...I should join you," I said, and I was sure there was a cheeky grin on my face.

"Don't you dare," Blaze snarled. I laughed. "Maybe later." I lied down on the opposite side of the couch and allowed my eyes to fall shut. Before I did, I felt a light hand on my shoulder. My eyes opened slightly, and I saw Sakura on her knees, so we were eye level. I blinked curiously...and then she kissed me on the forehead.

"Sleep well, Syaoran," she said. I felt my face turn red. "Th-Thanks, Sakura. Do spirits sleep?" I was wondering whether to repeat the same thing to her.

"Wandering spirits like Kurogane and I, yes, to an extent."

"Than you to."

She smiled, then left.

"She's pretty, even when she's dead," Blaze said. I nodded. "Yes."

"And you still love her and wish to protect her, even if her body is gone."

"Yes."

"And she's your motivation."

"...Yes, to a degree."

He gave a light nod of understanding.

"I figured you guys might grow distant, since three or four people are against the two of you still loving one another."

"Three."

"Well, I'm not so sure about Fai."

I hadn't really thought about it. I guess I'd have to ask him. Maybe I didn't want to.

"...Well, the problem might actually be me," Blaze whimpered. I glanced at him.

"She has a large hold on your life. On almost all of it. She needs to let go. She's with you, but...she's has other places she needs to be." He sounded regretful. Probably because he knew there was a part of me that knew this.

"I know," I whispered. "But it isn't that easy."

I drifted into a fitful sleep.

Authors Note: **Pfargtl is a reference to Homestar Runner. The word makes me laugh extremely hard every time I hear it. I felt a really strange need to use it in this story, so don't mind it too much xD


	23. Chapter 23

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

I woke up when a hand fell on my shoulder. I glanced up to see Fai.

"You're screaming. Kurogane wants me to tell you, in these exact words, 'it's annoying the hell out of him.'"

"...Sorry."

"Nightmare?"

"Yeah."

"About what?"

"..."

I didn't feel like telling him it was about getting my soul torn out and dissintegrated, but still being unable to die and having to suffer the pain for the rest of eternity. It was like reliving my near death again. Fai noticed I didn't want to talk about it and dropped it. "You should go back to sleep."

"OK. Tell Kurogane...er...that I'm sorry that I annoyed the hell out of him?"

He chuckled. "Sure thing."

I didn't get back to sleep. I tried, but I couldn't.

When the sun started to rise, I stood up and went to the door.

"You know you're doubting whatever you're about to do," Blaze retorted as he appeared. I glanced at him. "I sounded like a concience," He noted after a moments thought.

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Yes, I'm worried they'll get mad at me, but all I really want to do is go for for a run. At least be ready to fight when the time comes, likely later today."

Blaze nodded. "I think it's a good idea. I can talk to Jay and get Fai's likely opinion."

I shrugged. "Sure." I hadn't considered he could do that.

He sprinted off, and came back second later. "He says Fai'll probably be fine. Come on, let's go."

I was outside until the others woke up. It took my mind off what I was worried about, which was the secondary goal. I probably pushed my luck by going into the forest, too, but I wasn't attacked. Maybe the henchmen had all cleared out? I hoped so.

I took a quick rest somewhere in the backs of the forest. As I turned to head back, I felt someone tap my shoulder. I glanced over my shoulder to see a boy, about my age, with short, brown hair and green eyes. He was taller then I was, and he was skinny, with no upper or lower muscle strength. I knew he was a spirit quite quickly.

"Hey," I said, breathing fairly quickly, as, obviously, that's happens when you're running around.

"I'm sorry about that man reaching his hand through the lake and trying to...you know, kill you."

"You're the forest spirit, right?" I guessed. He nodded.

"...Can you tell me about Ming?"

"It works with spirits."

"Other then that?"

"...I can't say anything."

"...I've heard that one quite a couple of times," I sighed.

"Well, hope you don't need to hear more. Ming deals with the dead, and the last thing you probably want to be is dead."

I nodded. "Do you enjoy taking care of the forest?" I asked.

He smiled. "Yes. It was a bit dull at first...well...dull isn't the word. It was lonely."

I gave a half-hearted smile, understanding where he was coming from.

I didn't exactly expect to see a girl to appear behind him, but that's what happened. She had long, blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She was about the boy's height, maybe a bit taller. Vines circled her arms.

"Maybe I shouldn't have been happy when she joined me," he continued. "But it's thanks to her I enjoy it here. She was...um..." He glanced away nervously, suddenly looking like he wanted to stop talking. "When I was alive...she...was...my crush..."

I smirked. "I'd laugh, but I'm not allowed." Looked back in the direction I'd come from, thinking of Sakura.

"She died about a year after I did...she chose to join me. The alive and the dead always seem to be discouraged from having a relationship. Occasionally, even the alive are talked out of it. I guess you've just got to wait until you're both dead to be happy, sometimes. It's not the most...preferable way to think about it, but sometimes, that's just the way it works."

I shrugged. "I suppose you don't agree with my relationship with Sakura, either."

"...We're not allowed to say anything," The girl cut in. Her voice was light and soft, but the emotions in it were easy to identify. She was teasing the other spirit in front of me. If a spirit can turn bright red, he did.

"...No, we're not." He shook his head.

"Did you need to talk to me about something important?" I asked.

"I came to apologize, but I guess it turned into a conversation about dead people, didn't it?" He laughed nervously.

"I had nothing better to do anyway," I responded, giving him a slight shrug.

"Well, to wrap this up, it might seem like a long time, but you and the girl...Sakura...if you want to be together with her someday, you will. I can promise. In that time, don't be ashamed to live your life to the fullest. I wish you and your friend luck, wherever you go. And your rabbit, too."

I smiled. "Mokona."

"Yeah, it too."

"And...I hope you two continue to be happy together in the forest."

The girl put an arm around the boy's shoulder. He turned bright red, no doubt about it this time.

"Girls are almost always so much more free with their emotions, huh?" The girl laughed, looking at me.

"...Yes," I agreed, a blank look on my face. "It seems like that. I guess it depends."

The boy laughed meekly. Then, suddenly, a feather materialized out of thin air and into his palm. He held it out to me.

"This is what allowed me to grant the wishes via the river. It belongs to the spirit of the girl you like, right?"

"Did you talk to her, or something?"

"Yes, a little. Here, give it to her from me. It's not mine, and I can't keep it, nor do I choose to."

I nodded and took it without too much hesitation.

"Thank you."

The two then turned around and disappeared into the trees. I watched them go, a grin on my face. They were cute together. I then turned around to look at the sun.

"Time to head back," I said to myself, and sprinted back at full speed, wondering if I could get back before everyone woke up.

Nope. When I got back, Fai was waiting for me.

"How was your run?" He asked.

"It was fine," I said.

"None of Fei-Wang Reed's henchmen?" I shook my head.

"That's good."

"I talked to the forest spirit here. Apparently, he's happy because he's not alone. The girl with him was quite nice, too."

"Company is always welcome when in an unpleasant situation," he said, nodding.

"Maybe that's why Sakura and Kurogane are sane."

"It's certainly why Mokona's sane!" Mokona squeaked, hopping in.

I nodded, smiling. "Me too." I put my fingers against the jewel on its forehead. It went 'boink.'

"Maybe that's the other Syaoran's problem. He watches those with friends, but it wasn't until recently that he had one."

"Recently. His friend...that would be you, Syaoran?" Fai asked. I shrugged.

"I hope he thinks of it that way. I can empathize with him and his situation, that's for sure."

"Mokona's ready!" Mokona squeaked.

"So am I," I said, nodding.

"Kurogane, if you're not coming, whack Syaoran. Hard," Fai said. I was tensed the whole time, but when no blow come, I sighed in relief.

"Safe to say Kurogane's coming," He concluded. "And I'm ready, too."

"And Sakura's probably coming if Kurogane is!" Mokona said. It then leapt into the air. "Mokona Modoki, ready to go!"

The wind picked up around us, and I noticed the red aura blending in with the magic this time. "Let's see what goes wrong this time," I muttered, and then we were all inhaled.


	24. Chapter 24

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

As the wind/light magic around us started to disipate, my first instinct was to run, and look for the other Syaoran. That's almost exactly what I did, too, but Fai's hand firmly gripped my shoulder.

"Fei-Wang Reed probably knows we're here. We need to proceed cautiously, not just dart off, like we want to. You'll want to protect Sakura, since she's at the biggest risk other than you here."

I nodded, slowly collecting my thoughts. "Right. Actually, Sakura, Kurogane, Mokona, you should stay in here, in case Fei-Wang Reed happens to catch us. Kurogane, protect Sakura. We'll come back, we promise," I said. Neither of them argued, through Kurogane looked frustrated to be 'taking orders' from me. I looked over at Fai. "You should lead, I'm bound to do something stupid."

Fai nodded, and stepped forward, guiding the way. I gave him directions, since I'd seen the place before.

Since this dimension wasn't big, it wasn't hard to find our way around. I found Xing Huo against the wall, in the same position she'd been in last time I saw her: sword driven through her stomach against a wall.

"Who is...?" Fai began, eyes wide in surprise, and I could tell he was horrified and a bit disgusted.

"...Xing Huo. The one who helped me out," I said sadly. "She said as I left it'd be the last time we met. This is probably what she meant," I sighed. Fai shook his head.

"Fei-Wang Reed...I knew he was bad. Really bad. But I didn't think he'd sink this low."

"He's about as low as they come. We've got to find the other Syaoran, fast."

I led the rest of the way. Seeing Xing Huo in that state, not just in the river but in person, was a pretty firm reminder of what might've happened to me if I wasn't careful.

I saw the real Syaoran floating in the capsule from across the room. Predictably, I wanted to sprint, but I almost expected there to be traps, so I proceeded with caution. We stopped in front of the capsule and I analyzed the real Syaoran's condition. The capsule was red because of his blood, that was clear. He had wounds that were still bleeding, but I wasn't sure how he'd obtained them while still in a capsule. I could tell he'd been magically electrocuted multiple times. He appeared to be unconcious.

I placed my hand on the capsule but pulled it back sharply when a spark jumped off of it. "This again," I complained.

Fai's magic swirled around it, but it was countered by jolting through Fai, which I figured out when he stumbled backwards and coughed out what looked like blood, but for some reason, I doubted it.

"Are you alright?" I whispered urgently. He nodded.

I turned around, wondering if there was a way to wake up the real Syaoran. I placed my hand against the glass and got electocuted. So did the real Syaoran, I noted. His eyes shot open, and I staggered backwards. I wondered if he closed his eyes, he'd see me staring at him from outside the capsule. Wow, talk about a headache.

His eyes widened.

"S-Syaoran...!?"

His voice was faint, but I knew that was probably normal. I had probably sounded like that as well, when I was in his place.

"Yeah. We're trying to get you out of here. Do you know what to do?"

He probably tried to nod, I could see that, but it sort of failed.

"Yes. There's a weakspot on the glass somewhere, you break it open with magic."

I glanced at Fai.

"We can do that. How do you find the weakspot?"

"...I don't know, you can't without injuring yourself."

"...Works for me. This might hurt." I was about to press my hand against the glass when Fai caught my wrist.

"Don't do that unless you know what to look for. You could get yourself worse than just 'hurt'."

I looked at the real Syaoran.

"I don't know."

"I'm never going to find it without trying," I told Fai. "I'm sure there's a sort of magic aura that drops around its weak spot."

I recalled what Xing Huo said. That...I might get magic ability when Syaoran was released...? The idea was strange to me, the only magic I'd ever used wasn't mine, it was...well, Syaoran's, and I'd used it by accident attacking the beast who was killing Sakura. (It hadn't helped much.)

I mentally dropped the subject. It wasn't imporant.

Fai sighed. "I guess I can't presuade you otherwise. Good luck, Syaoran."

I placed my hand hard against the glass so I wouldn't back off. The shock was like a small explosion, and I had to stop myself from giving us away by screaming, if the sound of me getting electrocuted wasn't enough. The real Syaoran was struggling too.

I moved my hand hard against the glass, wishing I had a second hand to balance myself against the wall.

After about fifteen second, I felt the aura around the glass falter. My eyes shot open.

"Here," I whispered to Fai, before snapping my hand back and leaping out of the way as Fai rushed forward and send a large slash of magic over the place I'd indicated. I landed on my side, because I couldn't get my feet to make a solid landing. Cracks started to form in the glass, and the whole thing fell apart. The liquid in the tank splashed all over to Fai, and the real Syaoran fell onto the floor and didn't even try to get up, because he was exhausted.

The only sounds in the room were Syaoran and I gasping for breath. I could feel something strange coursing through my blood, and I figured it must've been the magic Xing Huo had mentioned. Fai turned to face me.

However, something was wrong, I knew right away. His eyes were dark, emotionless.

"Fai...?" I asked slowly.

I tried to work through everything.

"Syaoran, since the two halves of my soul are technically together, that unlocks magic in your soul, right?" Syaoran asked, his voice wavering nervously.

I nodded slowly, trying to think on this idea. I had magic now. So did Syaoran, but it was still restrained by the liquid he had been floating in. And my eyes widened in horror. So had Fai's. Which made me the only one alive in the room with working magic at the moment. And Fai had a curse...he had to kill anyone with stronger magic then him...that meant...

"Syaoran, run!!" The other Syaoran yelled, it clicking in his brain as it did in mine, just as Fai lunged. I scrambled to gain a footing in the broken glass and dashed to the right, nearly tripping as I did so. At that moment, Fai unsheathed the dagger I had given him in the last world and brought it down on the spot where I'd been. Talk about backfiring.

"How long does that magic restraining stuff work!?" I asked, swerving to the left and unsheathing my sword.

"...Would you kill me if I told you twenty four hours?" The real Syaoran asked, cringing. "Maybe longer?"

I said a swear word, and the sword I had collided with the dagger. I struggled to keep a grip on the blade with only one hand. I hadn't fought with a sword since my other arm was amputated. The other Syaoran had, as me, but that wasn't exactly me, was it?

The dagger and sword clashed together again, and this time the force rendered my arm numb. I started to panic. I didn't know who it would hurt more if I were killed: Me or Fai.

With my arm numb, Fai easily sent the sword flying out of my hand and skidding across the floor.

The real Syaoran staggered to his feet, attempting to help, but he was in no condition to stand up. He looked like he wanted to call Kurogane and Sakura, but didn't want to put them in any more danger.

At that moment, I had a strange feeling Fei-Wang Reed was just watching. Had he planned this...?

I spun around and ran, not even going for my sword, because Fai had already gone and picked it up and was coming back towards me.

Running blindly, I crashed into a wall.

_Oh, good going, genius!_ I thought, pushing myself away from the wall with my hand.

And then I felt an overwhelming pain in my leg. I let out a painful grunt and looked downward my leg. Fai had thrown the dagger through it. It had gone all the way through my ankle and into the wall. I attempted to pull my leg free, but there was no way I could do it. Fai charged towards me...

My eyes winced shut, but as the sword was driven through my chest, my eyes shot open. My hole body shuddered, and as the sword was withdrawn, I fell downwards, hitting the floor with a heavy thud.

"Syaoran!" I heard the other Syaoran yell.

I could feel my blood flooding rapidly out of the sword wound. I attempted to move, but couldn't. My eyes started to fall shut. The wound was excruciatingly painful, but the feeling of pain was fading at a rapid pace. I couldn't see anything. It was all dark.

Somewhere in the distance, I heard a girl cry my name. And a scream. A long, loud scream. I couldn't say who they belonged to.

I forced myself to draw in a breath, but found it too painful. I stopped trying.

The darkness turned a pale white color. I couldn't feel anything. Everything was numb. I didn't know what I was seeing. My mind could only process one realization:

I was dead.


	25. Chapter 25

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

I stayed completely silent, waiting for something to happen. Anything. I felt like I didn't exist, my whole body still being numb.

There was the sound of something hopping forwards.

I couldn't look up. My body, my spirit, whatever it was, it was holding me back.

"Hey," said a gentle, air-like voice.

Mokona hopped into sight. Only...no, this wasn't Mokona. It was silver. I couldn't get my mouth to open to ask the question: Who are you?

"Syaoran. I was hoping it wouldn't come down to this," it whispered, its eyes falling shut, its ears drooping.

I stared blankly.

"My name is Ming."

My brain failed to process this properly. Ming was a third Mokona...?

"I'll explain in a minute. I'm sorry, and I really don't want to do this, but...you're dead. I need to release your soul, OK? Just stay put. Well...it's not like you can go anywhere." It hopped towards me.

There was a long silence, as it seemed to be confused, maybe surprised. It started tapping it's foot for a moment.

"...You have more than one soul." It narrowed its eyes thoughtfully. Then it shook its head. "I'm not picky. I'll just take one."

It's paws reached towards my right eye. I tensed.

"It's OK. You have your own soul, you won't need this one."

I hardly felt it as the eye came out of the socket. "The seal was half cracked," it noted, the eye shining in a soft, golden light before disappearing.

I started to breathe again very suddenly. My arms jerked and my whole body started to shudder as I gasped for air. It still hurt, but it was less intense.

"You should thank the other Syaoran if you wake. The soul he gave you many years ago has bought you some extra time."

"I...have a chance of waking up?" I asked doubtfully.

"It's slim," Ming said, shaking its head. "After all, you were driven through with a blade. I'd say that it has the chance to kill you twice. It's not a wound that can heal, really."

I sat up, nodding slowly as I did so. Then, I asked, "so, you're a third Mokona?"

"The first."

I cocked my head curiously.

"It's strange. There's only one other who came back after she died."

I cocked my head.

"Her name was Yuuko."

My eyes widened. "She's died...?"

"You two are the only ones who had an oppurtunity to come back after I'd taken their soul...a soul..."

"So, the other Mokona's were based off of you?" I asked.

"That's correct." It yawned. "I'm supposed to be neutral, taking souls and all...but I'm glad that I could spare you, at least for a while."

"...Where am I, anyway?"

"There are three realms," it explained patiently. "There's the real realm or world, which has many dimensions. There's the dream realm, which you've been to. There's only one, but it has many sectors and its hard to get to conciously. And then there's the spirit realm, which is for the dead. You're on the border of the real world and the spirit realm. Your friends, Sakura and Kurogane, should be in the spirit realm." It stopped, grinning.

"I had never seen spirits so persistent to go back. They wouldn't take no as an answer. That ninja friend of yours was worried about you two a lot, even though you would never guess by the way he treats you. They were both saying "I have to go back!" And Sakura was wailing about how she couldn't leave you, and Kurogane was insisting you'd both get yourself killed, and that you never finished your sword training, which he used to cover up his concern..."

I stayed silent as it spoke. Finally, it sighed deeply.

"You've got yourself some good friends. I admire you. I take this job alone."

I glanced back at it. "What about talking to the other Mokona's?"

"Soel and Larg? I'm not sure they know I exist."

"Try talking to them. They're welcoming, they're kind. ...They like drinking."

It laughed. "That, they do."

I stared up at the sky, which was still nothing but a pale white expanse of nothing.

"What's going on with my body?"

"You're comatose. That's what coma's are, really. Spirits talking to me."

"...I really want to go back-" As I spoke, I coughed, and as I tried to breathe in, it burned. I couldn't force myself to continue.

"I don't think you will," it sighed. "It makes me sad. I don't want Fai to be on his own. But if I don't take your soul, it's like being stuck in suffering for the rest of eternity."

I shuddered, but I wasn't sure if it was from Ming's words or pain.

"One chance, please," I gasped. "I just...want to say goodbye to Fai and Mokona...tell Fai that I'm not angry, and that it wasn't like he chose to be cursed..."

It smirked slightly, its eyes falling shut. "He killed you...he freaking _killed _you...and yet you still trust him, and want to assure him that it's alright...You're a good friend too, Syaoran. I want to warn you, it might hurt."

"I'm aware. I'm prepared," I said shortly, forcing myself to keep even breaths, despite the burning sensation.

It nodded, and the mint-green jewel on its forehead glowed brightly. I could feel magic swirling around me.

"I'm giving you two minutes, at the most. Make it all quick, OK? This is your only chance." There were tears in its eyes. I nodded.

*

My eyes opened narrowly. Ming had been right when it said it would be painful. The previous burning felt like a fullblown fire, and I definitely was not turning into my kudan this time.

"Syaoran," Fai said, his eyes widening.

"I---I don't think..." I began.

Fai shook his head. "You're not going to die."

There was so much conviction in his voice that I wondered if he had some sort of plan. I had come to know that his magic wasn't exactly of the healing variety, so I wasn't sure what he was going to do.

I drew in another gasp.

"You ready?" Said a voice. I couldn't pin a name to it, but I was sure I knew it.

"Yes," Fai said. "We've got to hurry, Syaoran doesn't have long." His voice faltered, I could tell, even in my condition, that the main emotion he was feeling was guilt, and lots of it. I wasn't angry, or upset. It wasn't his fault. I had established this back on the border of the real and spirit realm.

I could hear the sound of a dagger being unsheathed, and briefly, I wondered if, whoever this newcomer was, if he was going to try and end my suffering there. I wouldn't have been surprised. But no, I heard the sound of skin being cut, and it wasn't mine.

The newcomer put his wrist over my mouth.

"Syaoran, if you can hear me, you're going to have to pull through this, just for a little longer," Fai said sadly, voice cracking with worry.

I felt a hand open my jaw, and I saw the blood trickle down his wrist, off his arm, and drop onto my tongue and into my throat.

My eyes widened. Looking back on it, this all taught me an important lesson: Never think it can't get any worse. Because hell, this was a lot worse.

I screamed so loudly, I'm sure everyone within a mile of us could hear it. My limbs twitched and jerked uncontrollably, and I felt two hands grab my shoulders and nail me down. My ears were ringing, I couldn't hear a thing. Pain. That's all everything was. Waves and waves of it. As if some sort of monster was clawing out my insides. The blood that they'd put in my mouth...had it been tainted? I wasn't sure what it was.

I writhed involuntarily. I tightly gripped the arms of whoever was holding me down, trying to find some sort of support, silently wanting to give the pain to someone else. Fei-Wang Reed. If I could have gone and forced this pain on someone other than me, it would be him. No one else. Not even Fai.

Fai. This was his fault. I silently pleaded to know what he was thinking. What he thought I was going to get from all this. I thought he wanted to save my life, so why did I feel like I was dying all over again, only this time slowly?

I couldn't scream anymore, though I couldn't tell how long it had been. My thoughts were all hazy. I could hardly see. The agony was slowly starting to come in smaller and smaller waves, until everything was numb again. I silently wondered if I had died for the second time, but as my eyes flickered open, I saw Fai, Kurogane, and Sakura looked back at me. And the other Syaoran.

I realized my fingers were deep into Fai's arm. He'd been the one pinning me down. They all looked nervous, and Fai looked scared.

I could hardly think. I formed a sentence, and was only barely able to ask it.

"What...did you do...?"

All the tension I felt left my body and my head dropped back to the floor, my thoughts dissolved, and everything faded black.


	26. Chapter 26

CHAPTER TWENTY SIX

I don't know how long I was out, but I came to when I felt a hand lightly grab my shoulder and shake me back and forth gently.

"Hey."

I figured maybe I was dillusional, because it sounded like my voice.

""We've given you enough time, you need to get up."

I remembered the real Syaoran. That made a lot more sense. Slowly, I forced my eyes open.

"I'm glad you're alive. Not OK, but alive, at least." The real Syaoran had a slight smile on his face. I forced myself upright, but as I did, my hand shot to the wound through my heart. It still ached, and I could feel there were bandages around it.

"That's going to be a scar for the rest of your life...which, now I think about it, could be a pretty long time."

"...Last I checked, it was about to end." My voice came out as a low croak, as if it had gone unused for a while.

"You've got Kamui to thank for your comeback."

I blinked, uncomprehending.

"You're a vampire, now, Syaoran."

"Is...Is that what was happening?" I asked, cocking my head lightly.

"Yes. And I see the seal on your eye broke."

"Ming took it."

"I'm glad you finally know who Ming is," he said sarcastically.

"Do you?" I asked him.

"Not really, but thinking over it, I don't really want to know anymore."

I attempted to get up, then glanced down at my stabbed through leg. It wasn't reacting. It was a worrying, sickly purple color.

"My leg's not working," I muttered. "Just great." Of course, this was sarcasm.

Syaoran held out his hand, and grabbed my wrist. I struggled to get my balance as I was pulled to my feet, and then I looked at my missing arm . Then at my leg. My hand moved over my right eye. It was gone.

"...I'm just a giant cripple vampire," I finally sighed.

"...I should've asked you before agreeing to your end of the price, but there was no time." He turned around, and I struggled to keep up with him, though he wasn't moving all that fast.

"What do you mean?" I asked, limping clumsily on my disabled right leg.

"To switch your world and change your fate, I agreed that you'd take the suffering of your comrades."

I cocked my head. "Meaning?"

"That the injuries you've received were supposed to go to Kurogane, Fai, and Sakura."

My right hand gripped the stump where my left arm had been. "...Who was going to lose their arm?"

"Kurogane."

"Their leg?"

"Sakura."

"Their eye?"

"Fai. Actually, you were going to eat his eye. Do me a favour and don't do a technicolor yawn."

"Sure, irritate the cripple, why don't you. And eat his eye...? Why the hell would I do that? Not only is he my friend, but eyes have never exactly been something that particularly sounded appetizing." I felt myself feeling a little nautious.

"...I could just give you via magic what I saw of the future from Yuuko. But...I don't think you're ready."

With those words, I staggered and fell to my knees.

"No," I agreed, lying back down. I hadn't gone far at all and I was exhausted. Dying, losing a soul, and coming back had weakened me immensely.

"I'll go get Fai," Syaoran offered, darting off.

I felt myself being picked up off the ground, and I felt myself placed lightly back down soon after. My eyes opened, and for the first time, I took a moment to analyze the environment. It was a long flat plain, covered by short grass, a small forest to one side, and a river to another. It was peaceful and quiet, and I was glad for that. The sky was covered by clouds, providing some sort of shade from the sun, which I appreciated.

"Syaoran, are you OK?" Fai asked. I glanced over at him. He appeared to be pretty miserable. I didn't respond.

"He's weak," Syaoran filled in for me. "But I think he'll recover."

"I'm sorry," Fai whispered, looking away. "I'm such a hypocrite...back in the town with the sisters, I told you that you would likely get killed if I wasn't around, then I tried to commit suicide and told you that you could handle it yourself, and then I ran you through with a sword." There were tears in his eyes. I had a feeling this wasn't the first time he had gotten upset over this.

"It's not your fault," I assured him, my voice still sort of raspy. "Your curse said you had to, and it's broken now. I'm not angry, so you don't need to get worked up."

"It's easier for you to say," he retorted. That sounded fairly familiar, because I knew I'd said it quite a bit, like when I was upset over being a clone, and when I told Kurogane I couldn't let go of Sakura. So, I responded the same way they'd responded to me.

"I'm sure it is."

Mokona hopped into the clearing and stopped by my side. It spit out the aventurine crystal and put it in my hand. I closed my fingers around it. The aura of the moss-green stone still comforted me.

"Kamui and Subaru are gone, I assume?" I asked.

"Yes. They waited about a day for you to wake up, then left."

"How long-" I began.

"A week."

I shot upright. "W-What!?"

I got dizzy and fell backwards again.

"Yes, but we have no more goals to shoot for, so it's not a big deal. Besides, you died, so I figured you would need the time."

"Don't you have to go from world to world?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Ashura's dead. I don't have to anymore. You've rescued the other Syaoran. What else is there to do?"

"Kill Fei-Wang Reed before he uses more innocent bystanders for his own personal gain," the other Syaoran retorted instantly. It seemed like something he'd thought through quite a bit.

Fai glanced back at him. "I don't want to go back to that world he's hiding in."

"He'll have to come after us at some point," Syaoran reasoned. "We're not pulling off his goals anymore, so he'll probably try to have his henchmen kill us, and when that doesn't work, he'll have to do it himself." He ground his teeth together. "I'm not afraid to take his life, after what he's done to me and the ones I care about."

"Where's Sakura?" I asked suddenly. The two looked at one another. A small fear crept through me, and I wondered if she'd left along with Kurogane while I was unconcious. It faded when Syaoran shook his head, stood up, and said "I'll go get her."

"Come on, sit up," Fai urged, grabbing my shoulder and lifting me upwards into a sitting position. He glanced at my leg.

"Doesn't work," I grunted.

"...I'm sorry."

"It's not a big deal. According to Syaoran, I've finished paying the price for my own soul anyway, so it was going to happen no matter what." My eyes fell shut slightly. "Apparently, you were supposed to lose your eye. I was supposed to eat it."

"..." The look on his face, in any other circumstance, would've been priceless, but I was a bit braindead, so I didn't laugh.

"Who'd that be worse for?" He asked.

"I don't know, I didn't get the whole story. I have a feeling it'd be worse for you."

That's when Sakura came running in.

I struggled to my feet, but I ultimately fell over when Sakura caught me in a tacklehug.

"I'm so glad you're OK! I didn't want you to leave Fai on his own," She said.

"...But I would've joined you."

"Fai needs you more than I do. Maybe even more than you need him. It only _seems_ like it's the other way around," she whispered, inaudible to Fai.

"I doubt it," I muttered, sitting back up.

"...Actually, if I'm right, you'll need Fai's blood to live from now on." She glanced up at him, and he nodded.

"It can't just be anyone's...?" I asked, uncertain. She shook her head.

"You can only drink Fai's blood."

I blinked, then accepted the fact without further question. Drinking only Fai's blood beat bloodthirsty rampages.

"Anyway, are you feeling better?"

"...Pfargtl," I said bluntly. She laughed.

"Weak. And braindead, it sounds like," Syaoran laughed.

"We're going to need to find a way to tell the two of you apart," Sakura murmured.

I felt something flicker in my eye, though I wasn't sure what it was.

"Syaoran, are you hungry?" Sakura asked. I flinched. The answer was yes, but it wasn't the answer I wanted to give.

"N-No," I lied.

"...I'm having a hard time believing that, you being out for a whole week," Fai said. I looked at my feet. He took out the dagger, and cut his wrist.

"I---I don't--" I began.

"The blood will flow whether you drink it or not," Kurogane's gruff voice said. I cringed.

"I really don't want to," I whimpered. "Especially with everyone watching. Besides, sucking the blood out of someone's arm is gross. Can't you just put it in a jar, or bottle, or _something other _then drinking it _from your arm_?"

My embarassment made the other Syaoran snigger.

Fai seemed a bit more content with the idea, however. "You'll still need water, I'd assume, so we can't empty out the bottle Amber gave us..."

"Mokona can get an empty bottle from black Mokona," Mokona suggested. "After all, it's just an empty bottle. Mokona doubts you'll need to give anything else in return, since empty bottles aren't worth...anything, really."

I shrugged. "Whatever works. If you want, you can head to the river and look for a shiny rock in case Yuuko decides that she wants something for it." I rolled my eyes. Then I fell silent. "Yuuko..." I recalled how Ming had said she had died but come back, and other than me, was the only one who ever had.

"Something wrong?" Fai asked.

"I'll explain later," I assured him.

Mokona jumped to the river, and came back with a bottle of water. "It worked!" It squeaked.

Fai nodded and took the bottle. "No one drank from that, right?" I asked.

"Nope, it's unused."

"...Why is Yuuko always prepared for this sort of thing??" I asked, shaking my head in confusion.

"...She wasn't. Mokona asked and Yuuko had Watanuki look for it."

"Watanuki..." The real Syaoran muttered, looking distant.

"Poor Watanuki," I said bluntly.

I didn't watch Fai fill the bottle with his own blood, for obvious reasons. He threw the bottle to me when he was done. I didn't really have the stomach to drink it right that second, otherwise, I had a feeling I'd...insert your way to say throw up here, if you will.

I lied back down. "I don't like feeling this weak..."

"You might have to get used to it. You're supposed to be dead, kid, so being back and weak isn't going to go away so quickly."

I knew Kurogane was right. Perhaps that's why I felt a little depressed. And I was thinking through the other Syaoran's goal, too. He had a point. Fei-Wang Reed had used all of us to try and achieve his needs to bring back the dead. Who's to say he wouldn't try again, or, even worse, go after others?

My eyes fell shut. I never liked staying in one spot for long, but this time, I knew I'd be disappointed.


	27. Chapter 27

CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN

It was the sound of sword on sword that woke me. I struggled to sit up, but as I did, I saw one of Fei-Wang Reed's men _trying to stab me._ (Not my favorite awakening, I assure you.)

Thinking quickly, I straightened out my left leg and swiped it under his feet, tripping him over. I awkwardly stood and looked around. Fai was fighting about five men, and Kurogane's spirit was holding off about eight. The other Syaoran was fighting three. Sakura was at my side almost the second she saw me.

"You could've at least woken me!" I protested as she appeared.

"...We sort of forgot," she said. "Fai! Syaoran's sword!"

I remembered he had taken it from me and killed me with it in the last world.

He nodded, taking the sword, and, without removing it from it's sheathe, tossing it over to us. Sakura ran and caught it, and turned to face me.

The man I'd tripped over was back on his feet, and POed, to say the least. He charged at me, and I sidestepped, trying to stop myself from falling on my face. I knew I couldn't fight. I was in no condition for something like that. Heck, I could hardly walk properly. I had never considered what moving around without one leg was like. It's _hard._ The henchman drove his claws towards my stomach. I leapt backwards and planted my non working foot in the ground. I gave the man a well aimed kick in the head, but twisted my ankle in the process and fell over.

I had never felt more useless. My fighting style involved kicks. I couldn't even do that anymore. I could hardly walk a far distance without collapsing, I couldn't fight, and I needed _someone elses blood to live!! _I couldn't even work out why Fai and the other Syaoran kept me around anymore.

The man brought his claws down on my head. I had no time to move this time. I snapped my eyes shut and looked away.

I never get used to it when the impact doesn't come, because I'm always prepared for the pain and the blood.

There was the sound of a sword piercing skin.

When Kurogane yelled "What the hell--!?" I knew something really bad had happened. I opened my eyes and looked up.

Sakura had driven my sword through the henchman's heart.

"..." The other men had cleared out, and Fai had either killed them or Kurogane had driven them away.

"Can spirits kill others?" I asked after a moment. The answer seemed pretty clear as the man with my sword through his chest fell to the floor, limp.

"Not exactly," Kurogane grumbled. I noticed that he was tense. _VERY_ tense. I wondered what the big deal was.

The fatal wound glowed and suddenly faded out, disappearing completely. The man woke up, then looked around.

"What am I doing here?"

With that, he walked away.

Then I sniggered. The other Syaoran burst out laughing. Mokona giggled uncontrollably, and Fai was trying to pretend that the situation hadn't been funny.

Kurogane and Sakura looked shaken. I glanced over at the two. "...Something's wrong. Are you not supposed to...?"

"You can stab and kill a man as a spirit. But there's a price." Kurogane's voice was dark, and I thought he might have even sounded a bit afraid. "Follow me." I could tell he was talking to Sakura. The two disappeared through the trees. Sakura dropped the sword as she walked away. I picked it up, glad to be taking it back. I put it back in its sheathe.

"...She looks hot even when she's stabbing someone," Syaoran said, approaching me. I winced when I realized I agreed with him.

"Now I owe my life to someone dead," I groaned.

"I wonder what's got Kurogane so worked up," Fai mused.

We all fell silent, staring into the trees. Finally, I got impatient and turned away from the group.

"I'm gonna go." I limped through the trees, in a different direction from Sakura and Kurogane. The trees ended at a small cliff ledge, and I figured that would be a good place to settle.

I sat down, dangling my legs over the side. I stared at the sky. "How can I be expected to help kill Fei-Wang Reed when I can't even protect myself?"

"We didn't expect you to recover right away," said the other Syaoran's voice as he came out from behind me.

"Should I have expected you to follow?" I asked.

"Probably."

"...OK."

He sat down beside me, shaking his head. "Cut yourself some slack. You _died._ You're going to need much more time then you would like to recover."

"What about you?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You've been trapped in a capsule for a lot of your life and you were fighting three of those guys by yourself."

He shrugged. "I've had a week to recover."

"I wasn't sleeping for another week, was I?" I asked nervously. He smiled and shook his head.

"Two."

"What!?"

"I'm kidding!" He laughed. "No, it's only been a couple of hours."

"Stop scaring me," I whimpered. He just laughed again.

"Do you have any idea why Kurogane was so freaked out? After all, the man was 'killed,' but he recovered without any memory...how did that happen anyway...? Well, then he walked away."

I shrugged. "I have a feeling Ming is involved. I know that walking around as a wandering spirit has it's rules. Or at least, I'd assume so."

"Do you think Sakura's going to get into trouble?"

"..." I hadn't thought about it. "Probably," I admitted. "Because I couldn't defend myself."

"For the final time, stop."

"But-"

He slapped me.

"Stop. Just stop. OK?"

"...You and Kurogane like to slap me."

"Yes, it's a popular form of entertainment," he said dryly, rolling his eyes. "How do you feel, anyway?"

I sighed. "I feel like something fell on my head." I did have a headache, and I was sort of depressed. Pile of angst was right, Blaze.

"Any specifics?"

"...A giant rock...a ten ton brick...the top of the world..."

"Which world?"

I smiled. "Hanshin?" I suggested.

"Technicolor tribute," he said with a cheeky grin.

"Enough already! It wasn't funny the first time, it isn't funny now." At the same time, I was wondering where Mokona had learned the versions of the word 'throw up' that it knew.

"It's strange..." The Other Syaoran said, clearly switching the topic. I cocked my head.

"I really miss that tight, claustrophobic capsule in that isolated dimension where Fei-Wang Reed was..."

His tone said he was serious. His face _clearly_ said otherwise. Then he laughed. Hard. I laughed, too.

"I'm so lying." Then he threw his hand into the air. It took me a moment to catch on. He was flipping him off. I doubled over laughing...and then I felt the strange need to join in.

And that's how Kurogane found us.

"What the hell are you two doing!?" He asked, staring at us, trying to work out why we were waving our middle fingers in the air.

"I don't know, but whatever it is, we hope Fei-Wang Reed is watching."

With that, he turned around and disappeared.

"Do you think he's irritated?" The other Syaoran asked, stifling another chuckle.

I listened closely, and I heard some laughter in the distance.

"Nah."

With that, I lowered my hand and looked towards the clouds. "I wish that man would just curl up and die."

"I second that, and I'd rather it be a long, slow, painful death," the Other Syaoran responded.

I stumbled to my feet. "I'm going to have to practice walking with one foot," I said, staring at the useless limb.

"I need to give you this. Staring at your empty eye socket isn't exactly..." He cut short. He pulled off his eyepatch and handed it to me.

"What about you?" I asked.

His eye opened slightly. His eye was back. However, the pupil and the iris were missing.

"Maybe you should keep this," I suggested. He sighed. I looked towards the ground. "I'm sorry."

"Well, it served its purpose, both the seal and the eye. And a white eye is better than none. Just put it on."

I needed help with this. Why? _Because you can't tie something behind your head with only one arm._ With that done, I headed back. I glanced over at Kurogane as we passed. He looked over at me and smiled. I figured he was at least sort of amused with two Syaoran's playfully flipping off someone who might or might not have been watching.

"You were upset earlier?" the other Syaoran asked, turning to face him.

He looked at the ground.

"Kid. Be prepared to give up the princess sooner then you anticipated."

He turned around and disappeared.

I stared after him.

"These next few days are going to be difficult, I think," I muttered.

"Weeks, probably," the other Syaoran sighed. He placed a hand on my back. "I'm there to talk to you if you need it."

I glanced over at him. Slowly, I gave a slight smile. "Thank you."

"And Fai. You might want to talk to him a bit more."

I didn't know how to respond. I silently worried that I might've been slightly afraid of Fai. He'd killed me, and I tried to tell myself it wouldn't happen again, but...

My fears must've shown, because the other Syaoran reminded me that his curse was broken. I knew that already. But the fear still lingered there.

I headed back into camp. Fai walked over to me. I forced myself to stay relaxed as I sat down against a tree.

"Mokona's looking for you."

"You can send it over here, if you want."

He nodded and walked off. Mokona returned holding the bottle from earlier.

"Mokona doesn't want Syaoran to starve himself."

The other Syaoran took that as his cue to leave.

I hesitantly took the bottle and opened the cap. The smell was...I want to say it was revolting. But there was a part of me that liked it. The vampire part. Ugh.

I blinked uncertainly.

"You drink it," Mokona said.

"I know," I muttered. I wanted to say something sarcastic, but I found I couldn't. Slowly, I took a sip. I could feel my eye flash a gold color. Mokona looked pleased and disgusted at the same time, though it tried to hide the latter feeling. I drank half the bottle before putting the cap back on. I pulled myself upright and found that I had a bit more strength from the 'game.'

Kurogane appeared from behind me. "Kid."

I turned around, covering the fact that he'd startled me.

"You said in the last world that you wanted to learn the Hama Ryu-o-jin training technique."

I nodded.

"Well, I'm offering now to teach you, because I don't have much longer to."

I wanted to ask what he meant, but his glare told me not to, so I nodded and said "Thank you, Kurogane. I'd like to learn it."

"You probably don't have the energy to pull it off, but you can practice as you get more strength." I nodded and walked after him into the trees, despite the fact that he was irritated with my slow pace. He eventually broke into a run, and I couldn't keep up, much to my frustration.

I won't go into details on the training, because I'm no mentor, and I don't want to indirectly teach others Kurogane's techniques. I'll cut a long story short by saying he gave me the basics, taught me the stance, demonstrated, then had me do it a couple of times before I sat down, exhausted. He said that I'd done well, to keep practicing, then left.

I stayed there, trying to catch my breath (Kurogane's a rough teacher, just trust me on that one,) when Sakura walked by.

"Sakura...?" She seemed depressed, and a bit out of it. She glanced at me, and her expression hardened into a glare. I stood up, a bit unsure of what was wrong.

She turned away.

"Sakura, are you OK?" I asked.

"I'm fine." She responded. "Leave me alone."

"...I just wanted to say thanks," I muttered.

"It doesn't matter."

She attempted to leave. Instinctively, I grabbed her wrist.

I didn't expect her to get upset. "Let go of me!" She snapped.

"Sakura, what's-" I began, getting a bit upset myself.

She struck me, hard, across the face. I stared at her in shock. I'd only wanted to know what was wrong...had that really been necessary? I didn't know if I looked puzzled, hurt, or both. I realized that there was a look of shock on her own face: she couldn't believe she had done that. I didn't know what to say. A long silence stretched out.

I finally found my voice.

"I'm sorry."

She looked towards the ground, her face too dark to see. I turned around to leave. I heard the sound of her sobbing. I hadn't meant to hurt her...not like this...

I headed to another pair of trees.

"Wait," I heard her whisper.

I wasn't sure what to do, so I turned back to face her.

There were tears streaming down her face, and her whole body was shaking.

I walked over to her, and she immediately threw her arms around me. I wanted to comfort her, I wanted to ask her what was wrong, I wanted to ask her about what Kurogane had mentioned earlier, and a very tiny part of me wanted to slap her and yell "make up your mind already!"

I ended up saying nothing at all and hugging her back.

"It's alright," I muttered quietly.

"It's not," she whispered, shaking her head. "It's not...I don't want to go...I wanted to stick with you until the end of this..."

I didn't know how to respond, because Kurogane hadn't told me everything. I wanted to know what the deal was, but as I tried to ask her, Kurogane came through the trees. "I was looking for the princess. Figured I'd find her with you."

I stared at him, unsure of what to say. There was a pang of fear in me, wanting to know exactly why and when the two of them were leaving. Kurogane grabbed Sakura's shoulder.

"Let go of her," I snapped, feeling defensive. He glared at me. I lightened my tone a little bit. "Just let her recover."

He was clearly unwilling, but when he knew neither of us were budging, he muttered something about annoying teenagers and walked off.

We stayed there for about five minutes before she finally regained her composure. "I'm going to see what he wanted," she whispered. "I'm so, so sorry..."

"It's OK, Princess Sakura." I added princess to remind her that she had every right to slap me if she wanted to.

She glanced at me, tears in her eyes, then left.

And all I could do was stare back and think _...What was that about?_

Tired, I forced myself to head back to the camp. I was hardly awake on my feet, rocking back and forth unsteadily. There was a light amount of pressure on the back of my head, and I collapsed, asleep, on the ground.


	28. Chapter 28

CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT

I woke up again sometime around the middle of the night. There were two things I wanted worked out: One involved finding the other Syaoran, one involved being sure I hadn't gone anywhere, which I determined with a quick glance around. "What was that...?" I asked no one, rubbing the back of my head.

I heard Fai laughing from behind me. "I just poked you," He said, sighing. I glanced over at him. He looked amused. "You were so tired, you just fell over. It was funny...it was sort of like Syaoran tipping, or something."

My eyes narrowed into a glare. "Yeah, thanks, Fai," I muttered, rolling my eyes and trying my best to keep a straight face. "You go back to sleep now." As soon as he fell silent, I glanced at the floor.

I'd had a large cluster of nightmares while I slept. They'd been about what would've happened if the other Syaoran had just sat back and watched. They'd ranged from me killing everyone I knew to destroying dimensions. It bothered me. The other Syaoran said he'd received, from Yuuko, what was going to happen. And I needed to know the truth.

I got to my feet and found the bottle of blood behind me. I picked it up and drained it, again feeling my eye turn gold. It was still dark out. I had a feeling it was just before midnight, maybe 11:45.

I had no idea whether or not the other Syaoran would be awake, but I had to go talk to him. Chances are he were, Fai had been awake, but maybe that had been because I woke him. It didn't matter.

It took me a while, but I found him by the cliff ledge where we'd been earlier, staring at the full moon.

"Syaoran...?" I muttered.

"...Hey, Syaoran." There was a slight smirk on his face. "We really do need different names."

"It doesn't bother me," I sighed with a shake of my head. "Listen. You said Yuuko sent you what would've happened if you hadn't changed the future."

He nodded. "You want to know, I assume."

"Yes."

He stood up. "I have no problem with that, but are you sure you can take it...?"

"...It's better then not knowing."

"Maybe." With that, he placed his hand against his right eye. A small glow of magic appeared around his fingers, and he placed that magic right between my eyes, and my only remaining eye fell shut.

Images appeared in front of me. Some unfamiliar country. I guessed that it was the one we were going to go to if our destination hadn't been changed. It all spiralled downwards when Sakura's feather had attracted her soul to it. I'd gone down there, Kamui had tried to kill me, the seal on my eye broke. Fai had tried to help. Instead, I attacked Fai, knocked him backwards, tore out his eye, and ate it. He'd been turned into a vampire to save his life.

At this point, I just wanted to scream for it to stop, but I knew it was too late for that.

I watched the destruction of many different dimensions. To my horror, I recognized one of them as the town with the sisters. I even saw Amber, Jade, and Aqua dead, and this was all my fault, I knew.

It only got worse when I arrived in the dreamworld in Nihon. Sakura...

I screamed. I guess that's when the real Syaoran decided it was enough. I could feel the magic jolt away, and I spun around and ran. I didn't know what I was running from. Myself, and not just literally, either, maybe.

Not much time had passed, I could tell. Maybe five minutes tops.

I realized I was running a lot faster then I had ever with the injured leg. I didn't stop, though I could tell I was damaging it with some missteps.

I stopped at the river, panting heavily. I hadn't run that far since I lost use of my leg, either. I sat down and tried to catch my breath. I splashed some of the river water on my face, which, I'll admit, felt good. I looked at my own reflection. I could easily imagine myself with Fai's blue eye. I dug my fingers into the dirt.

"Syaoran?"

The voice was Sakura's.

I turned around to see her and Kurogane standing behind me. I got to my feet and cocked my head.

"It's time for us to go." Her voice cracked, even in the middle of her simple sentence.

I wanted to protest, but I couldn't even begin to find the words to say.

"Why...?" I asked.

"She broke a certain rule when she killed that man. She's not allowed to be a wandering spirit anymore. Ming gave her the day. If she refuses to head to the spirit realm by midnight, her spirit will dissintegrate." Kurogane sounded regretful.

I glanced at Sakura, upset but not surprised. "I knew that this would happen if I killed him," she whispered. "But I couldn't...I couldn't let you die...not even if you were to join me in the process...you have a full life ahead of you, Syaoran, you'll make good use of it."

She hugged me. I could feel the tears in my eyes running down my cheeks as I hugged her back.

"Only look forward, kid," Kurogane said, but he sounded pretty miserable, too.

"I know, Kurogane, I know."

I looked up as he placed a hand on my head. "Whatever you decide to do, whatever your goals are, the princess and I know you can pull them off. No matter what...you're gonna go far, kid, we know you will."

It took all my self control to not bawl and hug Kurogane.

"Have you talked to the others?" I asked, my voice choked up.

"They already know. Sakura wanted to see you last, before we left."

"...Syaoran...I know it's probably asking for too much..." She looked into my eyes. "I was wondering if I could kiss you goodbye."

I had no idea how long it would be until I saw her again. Too long, I knew. Far too long.

"You don't even have to ask."

Time seemed to stop as she kissed me. I didn't object, and nor did Kurogane.

When we parted, I noticed that her arms were turning into cherry blossoms. She quickly retrieved a full cherry blossom from what seemed to be thin air. "This shouldn't die. Please take it."

I nodded and did so. The panic inside my chest was enormous, but I knew she had to go. I knew that her leaving was the only way I'd ever have a chance to see her again.

"Take good care of her," I whispered to Kurogane. I had a feeling he didn't have to go, but was because Sakura needed a companion.

"I will. Look after the magician, alright? And stop getting yourself into trouble. Practice Hama Ryu-o-Jin, if you want to get better."

I nodded. I knew why he was rushing to say everything, as I noticed that Sakura's spirit was starting to form more and more cherry blossom petals. She was running out of time.

"Goodbye, Syaoran. I love you," she whispered, and the air opened up behind them.

"I love you too, Sakura," I responded, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"It's OK to be sad," she whispered as she turned away and walked through the portal, Kurogane behind her. I noticed Ming standing by the opening.

"I'm sorry, Syaoran, but there are rules," it said. "I apologize for taking them away from you. They're safe now, though, so you no longer have to worry about them."

My throat was so closed up that I couldn't respond, I just nodded before turning away. I had nothing more to say to the Mokona figure. I wasn't angry with it. It was, after all, supposed to be neutral, and it had given my friends more privelages then it should have.

I walked for a long time in a random direction. I knew I wasn't heading anywhere, and I knew I was probably going to get lost. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

As soon as I thought I was far away enough, I screamed. I knew no one could hear me. That had been what I'd wanted. Sometimes you need one of those moments, I guess.

With that out of my system, I collapsed. It was freezing outside. I took my sword sheathe off and pushed it to the side, still in reach, so I could grab it when I needed it but wouldn't hurt myself by rolling on top of it. My eyes fell shut, and though I tried to stop the flood of tears, I couldn't. I'd miss them. Both of them. With a vampire's life span, who knew how long it'd be before I saw them again...?

Everything was eerily still. I knew I wouldn't be able to summon up the energy to go back to the camp. I knew I'd worry Fai. I knew I'd worry the other Syaoran. I knew I'd worry Mokona. I didn't care. I just needed some time alone.


	29. Chapter 29

CHAPTER TWENTY NINE

I woke up completely numb. The sun was up, so it wasn't that cold anymore, but the night had been freezing. Or maybe it was just the emptiness I felt inside. Eyes still shut, I felt around for my blade. When I found it, I sat up and unsheathed it, lightly slicing it across my wrist. I winced at the pain that delivered into my system, but now I knew I was alive. I certainly had felt like I had when I was dead.

I wiped the blood off on the sleeve with no arm in it and tried to work out where to go. I listened closely, but I couldn't hear anything.

Slowly, I trudged back in the direction I recalled coming from. As I did, I heard voices call my name. The other Syaoran and Fai were looking for me. I didn't call back. I'd find them sooner or later. I wasn't in the mood for yelling.

As I walked into view, the two darted towards me. I noticed they didn't exactly look happy, either.

"Where'd you run off to?" The other Syaoran asked.

"Needed some time alone," I muttered half-heartedly. Before they could say it, I added "I know they had to. Doesn't make it easier."

"No," the two both agreed.

"What happened to your wrist?" Fai asked, glancing at it.

"Did you go emo?" The other Syaoran sighed, a bit irritated.

"...Wow, that looks a lot worse than it is," I remarked, glancing at it. I _did_ seem overly depressed. "No, I woke up numb, so I was just checking to see if I was alive." They nodded, seeming to get it. But they probably didn't.

"That's three more things added to your recovery list." The other Syaoran looked like he felt a little guilty. Fai gave him a look. "Three? Kurogane and Sakura make two."

"...Syaoran saw what his past could've been last night."

Fai nodded. "It's probably better not knowing."

I realized that I'd said the exact opposite thing the day before. The other Syaoran noticed, too, because he muttered "you two are nothing alike" while shaking his head and pressing his fingers against his temples. "Syaoran, think of it this way, Sakura's safe, and this will probably send Fei-Wang Reed after us, which is much better than it sounds."

"Doesn't make it easier. You didn't know her."

"...I saw everything. I know that you cared for her. And I know I'll never understand, so I guess I shouldn't be talking..." He shook his head. "You'll see her again someday."

"Someday is too far away."

"It is," Fai agreed. "But it's there somewhere in the future. Until then, make the best of what you have now."

"I have...you guys?" I suggested. "I have Mokona, I have a useless leg, a sword, and an aventurine crystal...that's it."

"Wow, we've all got a lot of work to do," Fai laughed. I knew he was trying to cheer us up, at least a little bit. I smiled at his efforts.

"You also have a bottle of blood," the other Syaoran added.

"...Empty," I whispered, cringing.

"Well, at least you're not starving yourself."

"But I am embarassing myself."

"You're a vampire," Fai disagreed. "You're supposed to drink blood."

I didn't know how to argue. "I'm tired," I muttered. The two laughed and helped me back to camp.

*

I won't go into details about my recovery, it would bore the heck out of the average reader. It involved regathering my emotions, learning how to walk with one leg, and practicing sword fighting. The entire duration, the empty space where Sakura and Kurogane had been never filled, and only served to drag me down. Mokona, Fai, and the other Syaoran were there for me the whole time. I still couldn't work out why they kept me around.

I did manage to perform the Hama Ryu-o-Jin, and it felt dang good to get it right, to. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I silently hoped that Kurogane would've been proud or impressed if he'd seen it. Of course, right after that, I sat down and fell asleep.

That was the worse part of the recovery, to me: My lack of energy. It held me back a lot. Too much, I thought. I always forced myself to carry on and try and pull off what I normally would before I died, which often ended with me collapsing and waking up five hours later with the other Syaoran calling me a moron.

Speaking of the other Syaoran. We still couldn't find out a way to change either of our names. So, we decided to spell them differently, at least. It's not like we needed different names to tell us apart: We all knew that Syaoran was the crippled clone, and Shaoran was the real one with the white eye. It wouldn't help if our names were being called, but if we ever needed to write something down, it would be less confusing to anyone reading.

Fei-Wang Reed didn't come after us during this time, and the reasoning behind that confused me, to a degree, though I was sure he was waiting for us to go after him. I thought maybe Shaoran would know better than to say that we should wait for him to come after us aloud, unless he thought that Fei-Wang Reed wasn't watching anymore. After I thought I'd recovered enough, I decided I was done waiting around.

Around dinner time, we always gathered around a small fire, which Fai lit. The forest contained some animals, so the others didn't go hungry. I just drank blood from a bottle. I think it disturbed everyone else, but I tried to get past it.

This time, when we all sat around the fire, I spoke up.

"...I wish Fei-Wang Reed wouldn't sit back and wait for us to attack him," I retorted.

"Let him do what he may," Shaoran said with a shrug. I glanced at him, wondering why he was so calm. "It doesn't matter whether or not he attacks, you're still recovering."

"You see, there lies the problem: I'm still recovering! Why didn't he launch an attack while I could hardly walk?"

"Be quiet, Syaoran, I've already thought that through, if he attacks us now, you die, so don't give him any ideas."

My eyes narrowed, and I glared at him. Wasn't that sort of giving him an idea anyway...? "I could handle him just fine! I can walk, I can fight-"

"For ten minutes, Syaoran."

"Seven hours!" I snapped.

"Not really."

Was he trying to annoy me?

"If he attacked, I'm sure I could kill him."

"No, you couldn't, you still need more time with a sword, and you haven't mastered that kicking technique."

It was Fai who said this. And I knew he was right, at least with the kicking. I knew I'd broken that leg at least once, but I hadn't felt anything. It was Shaoran who'd noticed, and when he had, Fai had put me on 'crutches' (two strong tree branches) that had worked pretty well. Not the point.

"I'm fine with a sword," I grunted.

"What's with your sudden want to fight Fei-Wang Reed, anyway?" Shaoran asked, cocking his head.

"I don't know...I'm getting impatient is the problem."

"Don't. You still have magic to practice, which you haven't started, and that martial arts thing Seishirou once taught you," Fai said.

Shaoran stood up. "I'm going to go to sleep."

"It's pretty early for that, are you sure?" Fai asked.

"Mokona likes it when we all gather around the fire and just talk," Mokona murmured sadly.

"I'm tired, is all," Shaoran muttered. "I'm not all that hungry, either." He left.

"I wonder what's wrong. He's usually in a pretty good mood, and not that...I don't know...harsh? Willing to leave?" I said as soon as he'd disappeared from sight.

"Maybe he's just in a bad mood. It's pretty sudden, though, just two hours ago, you guys were playing together like little children."

"Fai..." I whimpered. It was sort of true, except the little children part, but only because little children don't resort to sword fighting when they're feeling competitive. He was like my brother, and usually he was telling me that I could fight pretty damn well, not that I still needed time to recover. He laughed.

"Relax, it makes me happy to see the two of you having a good time." He bit into the meat of whatever he and Shaoran had hunted from the forest earlier. I glanced at the floor.

"What have you been doing to entertain yourself...?" I asked uncertainly.

"Simple: I've been watching you two. It's seriously more fun to watch than TV was in Hanshin."

I felt myself turning bright red. Mokona laughed hysterically, falling off of Fai's shoulder. For a brief moment, I hoped it would fall into the fire, but then I realized that was cruel and shoved the thought away.

"I've also been talking to Jay."

I'd noticed this. It seemed like that bird kudan of his was his only company sometimes. I had the thought that maybe I should send Blaze to talk to him sometime.

"Here." He put down what he was eating and lightly removed the bottle from my hand. He also took out the dagger. I looked away. I found it so much easier to drink the bottle's contents when I pretended not to know what was in it.

When he was finished, he held it out to me. I took it back, then took a light sip before putting the cap back on.

"How's being a vampire treating you, Syaoran?"

"I try not to think about it. It doesn't feel much different then being human did, except I heal faster." My broken leg had healed in less than two days. "Though drinking blood was...hard at first, to say the least."

Fai nodded. We ate the rest of the time in silence. Actually, Fai and Mokona ate. I just watched. When they were finished, I stood up. "I'm going to practice sword fighting."

"It's getting a little late for that," Fai cautioned. Sometimes, I felt like he was my father. He was really overprotective. Though I really couldn't blame him, me getting myself killed, injured, soulswitched, and all that. And the truth was, I was exhausted.

"Syaoran should sleep," Mokona suggested.

"You should," Blaze admitted, appearing beside me. I glanced down at him. When a being connected to my own soul says I should sleep, it was time to listen.

"OK." I wasn't happy about it, but I knew not to push my luck. I walked over to a small patch of grass, which had become where I slept almost every day. The tents, which we'd reused from the Spirit Forest (as I like to call it: The forest where we had changed into our kudans) had been given to the Real Syaoran and Fai. I preferred it outside, it felt safer, strangely. It was comfortable enough, in my opinion.

I rested my head down against the grass. I hadn't seen any insects since we got here, and that had been about a month ago, so I didn't worry about getting bitten anymore.

I stared up at the moon. It was about half full. Nothing special. I rolled over onto my side and allowed my eyes to fall shut.


	30. Chapter 30

CHAPTER THIRTY

Footsteps. There were plenty of them in the distance, but a pair coming in my direction. I opened my eye and looked around, my vision unaccustomed to the dark. "...So, he's here," I muttered, my eye narrowing as I saw the figure about ten paces away. There was no mistaking it. It was Fei-Wang Reed. I knew there was no time to run as he approached me. I stepped back, not intending to get anywhere within grabbing distance.

He stopped in front of me, glaring.

"I have nothing to say to you," I hissed, unsheathing my sword. He shook his head.

"You know you can't overpower me," he remarked.

Boy, did I know it, but I wasn't giving in.

"That doesn't mean I'm going to back down."

He pointed back towards the main camp. I noticed it was surrounded by henchman. "Holy--" I began. I couldn't begin to count how many there were. My eyes widened. I swore a bad word at him. He grinned.

"You might as well give up now," He said.

"Go to hell." I was trying my hardest to mask my fear with my fury, which wasn't hard considering I was pretty equal with both. "I'm fighting."

He nodded. "Very well, then." As he said this, magic shimmered around him. I had no idea what he was up to, but I was worried. It couldn't be good, knowing Fei-Wang Reed. I cast a desperate look over my shoulder. I wanted to help Fai and Shaoran. I was sure that if anyone could handle that on their own, it was them, but I doubted having an extra fighter would hurt. Even if said fighter was a cripple.

As the magic took form, Fei-Wang Reed disappeared. I'd have to deal with him later.

My eyes widened and I stood back. The magic had taken form of Sakura, Kurogane, Fai, and Shaoran. I couldn't fight them. There was just no way...

Kurogane leapt. Of course it was Kurogane.

"They're fake," I told myself firmly as I slashed the sword across 'Kurogane's' side. At the same time, I felt myself get nailed in the back of the head by 'Fai'. I ducked and, balancing on my non-working foot, I used my working foot to trip him over.

I felt a sword rake across my arm. I couldn't keep holding back, like I knew I was. They looked like my friends, but they weren't, and they weren't afraid to kill me. I dug my sword deep into 'Shaoran's' ankle.

"Syaoran!" I heard Shaoran call from where he was fighting. He was wincing in pain, I could see.

"Get out of there! If you hurt them, you're hurting us, too!"

"The damn coward!" I yelled, before turning away and running.

I was surprised to feel that, as I ran, I had a little bit of control over my useless leg. Maybe it wasn't permanently out of use. The thought made me hopeful.

I darted through the trees, my eyes suddenly on Kurogane and Sakura. Would it hurt their spirits if I attacked these replicas? No. Ming had said I didn't need to worry about them...he couldn't touch them now they were in the spirit world, right?

I felt 'Sakura' technically breathing down my neck, so I spun around and, eyes firmly shut, elbowed her in the stomach.

In my mind, I heard her groan in pain.

"I can't do this!" I yelled to no one in despair. "Fei-Wang Reed, face me yourself!"

I saw a wave of red magic snake towards me from the trees. I recognized it as the magic that had nearly torn out and destroyed my soul a while back. I swore and ran...crashing into 'Kurogane'.

"Hama Ryu-O-Jin!" I cried out. A large wave of magic exploded from the sword, cleaving trees in half and leaving a large crater where 'Kurogane' had been. 'Kurogane' was unconcious, maybe dead, in said crater. I winced, pleading to no one that he was alright, before I ran. I couldn't keep it up, I knew, I had used most of my energy in that blast.

I had just run in a complete circle, I realized, as I stopped in front of the battle. There were a lot less of the henchmen there, but Shaoran and Fai looked worn out, covered in bloody scratches and scars. Fai had blood coming out of one of his ears. That looked pretty bad.

I glanced over my shoulder. The red magic was gone, as far as I could see. I stood there, trying to catch my breath, but only for a moment. I had to help out the others.

I darted at one of the nearest henchmen and drove my sword through his stomach. He hadn't expected it, and I sort of doubted he'd ever know who killed him as he hit the ground, unmoving.

"Are you two alright!?" I called. They nodded. "We're fine!" They both said. "You?"

"...Yeah," I panted after a moment's thought. I had been wondering if I should mention Kurogane and Sakura, and the possible links between the replicas and their spirits. If there had been a link at all, Kurogane could be wiped from existance...

No. I didn't want to let myself believe that.

"Syaoran!" Shaoran yelled, snapping me out of my thoughts. My first thought was that they were in some sort of trouble. My second thought, which came immediately after the first, was that it was always ME getting into trouble, so I should probably be sure I was out of danger first.

The second thought proved true, as well, because the red magic had caught up. And this time, it was too late to run. It went right through my heart, as if trying to smash my spirit out with one blow. I grunted in pain, falling to the ground. The henchmen were in the way of me and the others. I felt my soul forced out of my body, which fell limp to the ground, but not dead. The magic curved around, charging towards my spirit...

It then disappeared.

"I'm a little late, I guess," Fai said, as the magic swirled into an orb around his hand and disappeared in a puff of smoke. "But it should stop you from getting destroyed if I keep this magic contained for the time being."

"Thanks, Fai," I said, wondering if he could see me or hear me. I figured he probably could. It felt strange, looking at the world in black and white, seeing myself half dead on the floor, and the entire world feeling strangely cold. I wondered if this is what Kurogane and Sakura had to put up with. "Um...how to I get back into my body?" I poked it, and then I shuddered. _Awkward!_

"We'll work on it when we're not busy," Fai decided as Fei-Wang Reed's henchmen began to attack again. I fought, too, but my sword didn't carry over with me like Kurogane's had, so I just used the kicks that Seishirou had taught me.

"I guess you were right," I muttered to Shaoran as I came up behind him. "I'm not strong enough to pull this off yet."

"No, you're more then strong enough," he sighed, shaking his head. I was confused as I kicked one of my attackers in the stomach. "You said at dinner--"

"You mean I lied to lure Fei-Wang Reed out at dinner. You're more then strong enough to kick his butt, but if anyone's killing him, it's me."

"I won't argue," I assured him, kicking another man in the head.

"Try magic," he said to me when he noticed I was struggling.

"I never practiced," I reminded him.

"In a situation like this, what's there to practice? Let lightning fly everywhere and hope someone gets hurt really badly."

"Is that what you do?"

"Only in large scale battles. You need to practice if its one on one."

"How do I-" I began. He held his sword up in front of him and placed two fingers on it. "Raitei Shorai!!"

Lightning flew in all directions, smashing into everyone, and nearly hitting Fai, who dodged and started using magic himself.

"Now you try!" He said brightly, as if this was all sort of funny.

"...I don't have a sword. Or a second hand to place my fingers against the sword blade."

"Don't need one. Just go for it."

"Um..." I closed my eyes, wondering if I would look like an idiot, even when I was already sort of dead for the second time. "Raitei Shorai!!"

Even if you're expecting it, it's still a little bit surprising when lightning comes out of your palm.

"See, like that."

Any of the men who were on the floor, nearly dead, Shaoran killed. I felt a little bad, but I recalled that if I killed anyone in this state, I might be forced to pass on like Sakura. After I remembered that, I didn't feel nearly as bad. Most of the henchman were taken care of at this point.

I turned to where my body was...and saw Fei-Wang Reed.

"Son of a-" I began, my eyes narrowing. My body was disappearing...actually, probably changing dimensions.

"Well fought, but I'm afraid you're not winning this battle," he said, sounding amused, which pissed me off.

Shaoran was running straight at him. He leapt, but as he brought his sword down, it collided with a barrier. He swore.

Fei-Wang Reed turned around and disappeared through a portal, which started to close.

The red magic, which had been trying to destroy me earlier, smashed into the barrier and caused it to explode.

"Both of you, go!" Fai yelled, right behind us. We all made it through as it closed. We couldn't let Fei-Wang Reed win this. We'd come too far. And I didn't want to die. Not yet. Not at his hands. Not before him.

He was going to pay for everything he'd done to us.


	31. Chapter 31

CHAPTER THIRTY ONE

We all came out at the other end of the portal. We were back here again. Back where Shaoran had been captive most of his life. Back where Fai's curse had been activated. Back where I'd been killed. It contained memories that we were all better off forgetting.

I frowned. "Why am I dead every time I go to this place?" I asked Shaoran.

"Why do I always wish I were dead when we come here?" Shaoran shook his head. "It's a place tainted with darkness, I guess."

"How poetic," I said, smirking.

"Shut up, half-dead guy," Shaoran joked, laughing quietly.

"Lets find Syaoran's body before he's stuck dead. He can't defend himself without a soul," Fai said, dragging us back to the problems at hand.

"Right," We both said.

We didn't have to look hard. Fei-Wang Reed had my body against a wall, next to Xing Huo's, about to drive a sword through it.

My eyes were wide with horror, and Fai and Shaoran were equally surprised.

"Stop it!!" Mokona wailed from Fai's pocket.

_So that's where that thing went, _I thought.

Shaoran went right for Fei-Wang Reed. Not that I was surprised. He was nailed in the side by the replica of Fai.

"Not this again," I whispered.

The sword went flying out of Fei-Wang Reed's hand. Fai had disarmed him with magic, I guessed. All of the replicas that I had fought before, minus Kurogane, appeared in front of us. Fei-Wang Reed disappeared.

_I guess I did kill the Kurogane copy, huh?_ I thought, looking at the ground with worry.

"Syaoran, hurry up, before he comes back and tries to kill you again!" Fai yelled. I snapped out of it and nodded, darting towards...myself. I got onto my knees, grabbed my own shoulders, and shook myself back and forth, completely clueless. "What the hell am I supposed to do!?" I yelled, panicking. I didn't want to die, not like this.

"Syaoran, take this!" Mokona called to me. The aventurine crystal flew out of its mouth, and I caught it with my free hand. I stared at it, thinking "_What am I supposed to do with this!?"_

I placed the crystal in my palm and snapped my eyes shut.

I felt a small jerk, and shivered uncontrollably for a moment, before opening my eyes again.

I'd say 'it felt good to be alive,' but actually, it's more accurately described as: Crap, it's cold. I was also completely numb, sort of like last time, only not in pain. I staggered to my feet.

"Can you fight, Syaoran?" Shaoran asked, holding off...me. Like we needed another one.

"As soon as I can feel my arms," I said, straightening out and leaning against the wall.

Shaoran nodded, then kicked the Syaoran/Shaoran replica in the stomach.

I felt the blow as well. I doubled over and coughed, winded, though there was no one anywhere near me (not including the long dead Xing Huo. Maybe time, in a sense, stood still here? Her body should've decomposed by now...)

Shaoran swore for what felt like the fifteenth time today before getting kicked in the face by the other Shaoran. I reached for my sword, but found that it wasn't in the sheathe. It was actually what Fei-Wang Reed had been about to stab me with. I always nearly get killed with my own weapons, it seems. He had dropped it when he'd disappeared, so it was beside me. I picked it up and proceeded to fighting 'Fai' and 'Shaoran'.

"Use magic!" I heard Fai yell. "That's how to damage it without hurting one another!"

I nodded.

"Raitei Shorai!"

Neither me nor Shaoran noticed we both yelled this at the same time until the lightning had exploded in both directions and Fai was chuckling about it. When the blast was finished, we sheathed our swords.

"Does Hama Ryu-O-Jin count as magic?" I asked doubtfully, thinking it over. Shaoran shook his head.

"More like an energy attack."

"Like an energy drink."

"The difference is one hurts a lot more and isn't edible, ever."

I laughed, then sighed, shaking my head.

"I killed the Kurogane replica...and...I'm worried about Kurogane."

He shook his head. "Fei-Wang Reed can't get either of those two now that they've passed on."

"How do you know? He's trying to bring back the dead. Maybe-"

"I wouldn't count on it. Come on, let's finish this."

I glanced around. The replicas were unconcious, but I could see them dissintegrating, showing that they were probably 'dead.'

Fai ran ahead of us, and we both followed after him.

I screeched to a sharp stop in the next room, eyes wide open. Shaoran and Fai had equal looks of shock on their faces. Only I came out and said it.

"Holy crap, Fei-Wang Reed, that's one big freaking sword."

Shaoran burst out laughing. I was seriously wondering how someone wielded something that big. I guessed that maybe there was magic involved.

"Yes, Syaoran," Fai said, nodding. He looked sort of unamused, but accidently gave himself away when he snorted with laughter. "But we've probably got to be worried about that..." he chuckled this time. "Big freaking sword."

I laughed, too, even though that sword was likely going to try and cleave me in half later. I unsheathed my sword somewhere in the middle of the group giggle fit.

We decided to get down to business instead of laughing over the size of that sword.

"What do you want?" Fei-Wang Reed asked, as if he didn't already know.

"What do you think? We're certainly not here to make comments about your sword. We're armed, and you've messed up our lives to a massive degree on many occasions."

"Fai's messed up your life, hasn't he?" Fei-Wang Reed said. "He killed you, and he turned you into a vampire."

I shot a (hopefully) inconspicuous glance at Fai. His gaze had hardened. I had a feeling he wanted to lock out any agreement he might have felt.

"Might I remind you that you were the one who placed that curse on him? Turning me into a vampire saved my life."

"Enough of this!" Shaoran yelled, getting impatient. Unsheathing his sword from his palms (which I knew was some form of magic in itself,) he charged at Fei-Wang Reed, only to get knocked over middair. He hit the ground but quickly recovered, turning to face his attackers: about twenty-five more henchmen.

"For the love of--" He sighed, clearly irritated.

"Coward! Are you too afraid to face us yourself!?" He didn't respond, only seeming pleased with my fury.

"Calm down, Syaoran, lets deal with these guys first," Fai said.

'These guys' turned out to have a lot more talent (and brains) then the ones we'd fought earlier. The sound of sword on the poison tipped claws rang through the room, the harsh, metalic noise beginning to irritate me and hurt my ears after a while.

I spent most of my time dodging. I didn't trust myself facing seven or eight of these guys at once. Fai and Shaoran seemed to be struggling, but they weren't backing down.

Eventually, I stopped and swung around, completely ignoring the guys behind me. I leapt at Fei-Wang Reed, raising my sword over his head.

Before I could even blink, his sword was deflecting mine. The noise was enormous, overpowering the rest of the clashing in the room. The force of the colliding blows rendered my arm numb. I tightened my grip as much as I could, remembering last time my arm had gone numb, I had been dissarmed. I leapt backwards, cringing, my ears ringing.

"That sword makes freaking loud noise!!" I heard Mokona complain from the depths of Fai's pocket.

"It freaking does!" Shaoran agreed, a tone of amusement in his voice.

"Enough with the word 'freaking', OK?" I requested as I swung around and stopped a sword aimed at my head in its tracks.

"I think the word 'freaking' annoys Syaoran all of a sudden," Fai laughed. "Just like 'upchuck,' 'heave,' bombing Tokyo'--"

"Would you knock it off!?" I snapped, weaving under a sword and driving mine through the attackers foot, receiving a deep wound in my side at the same time. My breath came out in a low hiss as I leapt backwards.

"Syaoran, your foot seems to be working better," Fai noted.

"It is," I realized as he said this. It wasn't working all the way, but it wasn't numb, and it wasn't giving out.

"Behind you!" Shaoran yelled. I ducked as Fei-Wang Reed's sword swung overhead.

"Holy-" I gasped, a bit startled. The poisoned tipped claws raked down my back, and I let out a low moan before driving my sword into the stomach of the henchman...who fell on top of me.

"...Seriously?" I asked in exasperation, throwing the limp body off of me as I stood up.

I found myself back to back with the others. Fei-Wang Reed was out of attacking range, and we were surrounded by about ten of the men. The others (the ones not dead) had retreated.

I stood forward. "Hama Ryu-O-Jin!" I yelled, the blast coming off the the sword and smashing into almost everything, except Fai and Shaoran, who had jumped, and Fei-Wang Reed, to my disappointment.

"Warn us next time!" Shaoran retorted, but he wasn't displeased at the caused damage. About six of the ten had been knocked out in the attack.

"Kurogane sure taught you well," Fai said as he landed.

Without warning, I felt a huge force ram me in the stomach. I staggered backwards, turning to face the direction it'd come from.

"Attack from the sidelines, why don't you? Bas-" I started.

Another wave of magic headed straight at me. I had an idea on how to defend myself. I had no clue what the spell in my mind did, but I'd heard Shaoran use it before, so it was worth a shot...

"Fûka Shorai!"

A wind-like energy surrounded me, protecting me from the oncoming magic but shattering the barrier at the same time.

"I overheard you practicing the spell," I told Shaoran when I noticed his slight surprise. He nodded, and I straightened myself out. There were about five fighters left (not including us).

"I'll take them," I decided. "You go after Fei-Wang Reed."

"Are you-" Shaoran began.

"Yes." Without giving them time to argue, I darted towards the remaining henchmen. (Besides, they could help me if they felt the need, I couldn't stop them.) I glanced over my shoulder. They'd turned to face Fei-Wang Reed.

"Good luck, you two," I muttered under my breath. I didn't pay attention to the battle that ensued behind me as I fought. I had to focus on what I was doing, otherwise, I was going to die. I received a lot of minor scratches that aren't worth going into, and the worst injury I got was a cracked rib. Long story short, I flew into a wall. Strangely, the same wall happened to have a bloodstain against it: it was the same wall I'd been killed against. Clearly, they had the intention to kill me against this wall again. I wasn't going to let that happen. I managed to kill one of them, knock out three, and cripple the remainder.

I rested against the wall, trying to catch my breath. Breathing was difficult, every time I did, a wave of pain flooded over the injured bone and my entire body to add to it.

"This is going to hurt so much more tomorrow," I muttered to myself. I couldn't provide any support or pressure (which occasionally helps) to the bone without sheathing my sword, which I couldn't do.

I finally turned around to see how the others were.

Shaoran, Fai, and Fei-Wang Reed were all fairing pretty well. Fei-Wang Reed had a pretty unfair advantage considering we were all already exhausted. When he noticed I was still on my feet, his eyes narrowed. The crippled henchman was leaning against a wall, his leg beyond repair. I didn't feel the need to kill him. He wasn't going to go after me, and I didn't want to waste my energy driving a sword through his heart.

I staggered forward. My 'useless' foot moved. It was an unsteady step, but it was a step. I could feel the blood running down my side, my arms, my legs...

"How much blood can that clone lose before he falls unconcious!?" Fei-Wang Reed asked himself, clearly annoyed.

"Let's start counting the gallons," Shaoran said with a dry look on his face. "One. Two. Three."

"We get it," I said, smiling at how sarcastic he sounded. Silently, I was wondering the same thing as Fei-Wang Reed.

"Are you alright?" Fai asked.

"Yeah." I looked over my shoulder to be sure the henchman wasn't about to stab me in the back. He noticed the glance and looked away.

"Smart," I said, picking up my pace to help Fai and Shaoran.

"Maybe it's best you sit out," Fai suggested, keeping a wary on on Fei-Wang Reed in case he planned to attack while he wasn't looking.

"No way I'm standing back." Blaze appeared beside me. "I'm hoping this fight is the last," He whispered. I nodded. "Yeah, me too."

Jay appeared next to Fai. I remembered the ice wolf that appeared next to Shaoran. I'd turned into it once in the river, a long time back.

"It's been forever since I've gotten to stretch my legs. Who's butt's getting kicked today?" It asked. Shaoran glanced up at Fei-Wang Reed.

"It's about time!" It barked. I stopped beside the group. I noticed a flicker of uneasiness in our opponent's eyes.

Blaze disappeared and flames materialized around my sword. I smiled slightly, and leapt. The overly loud sound of sword on sword rung out again, and I skidded to the side, rushing back towards him and aiming my sword through his shoulder.

My sword did meet its target. Unfortunately, so did his. I landed behind him, with the tip of his sword, snapped off, lodged in the socket where my arm had once been. I could see magic swirling around it, and, glancing over my shoulder, I knew Fai had snapped the tip off so it was just the tip and not the whole sword there. (If it had been the whole sword, I'd be dead, obviously.)

Fei-Wang Reed turned around. He pulled my sword out of his shoulder with no hesitation, looking pissed. I could hear my sword clatter to the side, and as his shadow loomed over me, I knew I'd gotten myself into some trouble. Wow, Kurogane really wasn't kidding when he said I kept getting myself into deep sh-

"You're not going to survive this one," I heard him snarl. I glanced over my shoulder to see him holding his blade to my back. A barrier formed around him (and me), blocking out Fai and Shaoran. I could hear them yelling to me, but it was muffled. I was gasping for breath, and I had no weapon. If I used magic, I knew I would probably drain all of my energy and kill myself, and if I moved, he would drive his sword into my back. (This, I knew, was likely going to happen, no matter what I did.) There was one other thought I had in mind...if it didn't work, I was going to die. If it did...I was probably going to die. I was supposed to be dead, anyway...

"What are you waiting for?" I asked through gritted teeth. "Just kill me already!"

Silently, I was hoping that whatever Fei-Wang Reed was about to do, it would piss off Shaoran or Fai enough for them to break the barrier.

As I spoke, I felt the sharp corner of his sword pierce the skin in my back. He didn't exactly stab me, though, he seemed to be carving something into my back. Damn, did it hurt like hell. It took me a moment to figure out it was probably his bat symbol. And it was going to be there for the rest of my life. Which, I decided, was fine, because that was bound to be less then a minute anyway. It wasn't that it was a fate I'd decided 'it's ok with me,' it was more that I knew there was nothing I could do. My kudan, I knew, had been absorbed by the barrier. (I could tell because it was on fire, and I could hear it barking in protest.)

"Just kill me before I impale myself!" I yelled at him, on the brink of doing just that.

"If you say so," he said, sounding happy.

"You know, if you had just done what you were created to do, I could've brought back Sakura, along with the one that I wanted. We're not much different."

"I'm nothing like you," I snarled.

"Keep telling yourself that," he said with a shrug as he placed the point of the blade to my back and slowly started to drive it in. He wanted to make me suffer as much as he could before he killed me.

_Whatever you do, don't scream..._I told myself. _Whatever you do..._

I was involuntarily whimpering. I heard the sound of glass shattering, or something, from outside, but at this point, I'd tuned everything else out. _I'm so screwed,_ I thought. I attempted to pull myself off the blade, only to feel it jam in deeper.

The blade sinking into my back came to a stop. I forced my eyes open and glanced over my shoulder. A shard of ice was protruding from Fei-Wang Reed's stomach, a blade through his heart.

"It's over," Shaoran announced, his eyes still blazing with fury. "You've lost, Fei-Wang Reed."

His hand slipping off his blade, Fei-Wang Reed fell to the ground. Unmoving. Dead.

And the only thing that was running through my mind was the only thing that left my mouth: "...It's over...finally..."

"...You knew that sitting there and doing nothing while he tried to kill you would piss us both off to a large degree, didn't you?" Shaoran asked. I nodded.

"You thought you were going to die anyway," He added. I nodded again.

"...He's dead now. Feel free to scream."

I did. Loudly. I swore a couple of bad words, too.

"...Better?" He asked.

"That felt great," I admitted. "Please get that damned sword out of my back."

He smiled. "I would say 'don't put your life on the line like that next time...' but...I don't think there will be a next time."

"It doesn't bother you that you've just taken a life?" I asked.

"No." Then he laughed. "I'm such a bad role model."

"He murdered more people then you ever will," I assured him as he wrapped his hands around the blade and pulled. I let out a grunt of pain and surprise, then I sighed. The blade, covered in my blood, slipped loose easily.

"Lets start counting the gallons," I joked dully. "One...two..." and then I collapsed. I heard the sound of dry laughter echoing around me as darkness fell, and pain was everything. I felt something cold being pressed into my palm, and I semi-conciously wrapped my fingers around it.

_"Hang in there...if you can pull through this, you don't have to worry anymore."_

I couldn't tell who said this. I didn't care. He was right. I fell into a fitful unconciousness as the words echoed in my thoughts.

_Author's Note: The reason this chapter took a while to come out is because I was worried I'd disappoint some of the readers. I really hope you all think it's OK x.x'_


	32. Chapter 32

CHAPTER THIRTY TWO

I struggled to open my eyes. My entire body was aching, my back felt like it was on fire, and breathing was causing my whole body to shudder. But the fact that it did hurt assured me I wasn't dead yet. I forced myself to sit up with a loud moan. My head hurt, and I placed my remaining hand against it.

"Syaoran!" I heard Shaoran call from behind me. I looked over my shoulder.

"It's good to see you awake. You've been out for three months."

I smiled slightly, despite myself. "No, really, how long?"

"About twelve hours. Which is fine, because we all conked out in the middle of the sand, too."

"Sand...?" I asked, looking around.

"I think we're back in Clow," Shaoran said. And I was pretty sure he was right, too, as I looked around. The outskirts, yes, but this was Clow.

I frowned. "...What am I going to say to Toya-san? What about Sakura...?"

Shaoran dug his fingers into his wrist. "Um...I'm not sure, but...he won't be happy."

"No," I agreed. "Where's Fai?"

"He's out burying Xing Huo. We felt she deserved something more proper then being nailed to a wall by a sword her whole existance."

"Fei-Wang Reed?"

"We left him." He shrugged. I nodded. "I hope his spirit won't bother Sakura and Kurogane..."

He shook his head. "We talked to Yuuko. She said that spirits like his get inhaled by Ming, sort of like Mokona inhales us, and they're only let out if someone picks them up. Same thing with suicide, which explains why Sakura was so distressed when Fai was about to..."

I nodded. "Yeah."

"I wonder how she knows about Ming..."

"She and I are the only ones who have seen it and lived to use its name," I said.

"Yuuko's died?" He asked.

"I guess so. It didn't tell me everything."

He nodded, then turned to face the distance. I followed his gaze, and saw Fai coming back. I lifted my hand as much as I could and waved. He waved back and picked up pace. When he was in hearing distance, I heard him say "Good morning, Syaoran!"

I laughed, because it was late afternoon. "Welcome back, Fai," I responded, smiling.

"How are you feeling?" He asked. I considered for a moment.

"Like crap," I decided. "But I'm alive, and that's what matters, right?"

"Yes." He looked at the town not too far ahead. "That's Clow?"

"Uh-huh," I said, nodding. "...I'm afraid of facing Toya-san...I'm...sort of doubting I'll be allowed back in, since I let the princess die..."

"You didn't let her die," He said in a harsh tone.

"Yeah, but is he going to believe that?"

He sighed. "If you're told you can't come back, we'll talk to Yuuko. I know where we _can _go."

Before I could ask him what he meant, I saw a couple of figures in the distance.

"That's probably Toya-san. When I woke up, one of the towns folk found us, and I asked her if she could get him the prince, princess, queen, or king."

"What'd she say?" I asked.

"It was rather surprising. 'The princess has been missing for five years. I think she eloped with her archaeologist boyfriend. I can get the prince, if you want, though.' Any idea who this boyfriend is?"

I was choking on air (which was really bad for my health, considering my sword wound), while Mokona was laughing hysterically on the floor. Shaoran was sniggering, and Fai clearly knew exactly who this 'boyfriend' in question was.

"It's fine, Syaoran," He said to me, sniggering.

"Eloped...what the heck!?" I said, shaking my head, completely diregarding the fact I'd been gone for five years. "Didn't Yukito tell ANYONE that he'd sent me to a different dimension!?"

"Ten bucks he spread the rumor," Shaoran laughed.

"If he did, he dies," I growled.

At this point, the two figures came into view. Toya and Yukito, I knew without a doubt, but they were considerably older. With Shaoran and Fai's help, I stood up, and immediately, I instinctively stepped backwards. Toya was glaring straight at me, looking angry. Yukito had a knowing look in his eyes. He already knew, I could tell, because he seemed sad.

They stopped right in front of us.

"H-hello, Your Majesty," I said politely.

"Enough with the crap, kid, where's my little sister!?"

Back in Nihon, Fai had stepped in for me. This time, I knew he wouldn't. This was the prince of my country I was talking to, and I'd have to adress him directly. Shaoran wasn't going to, either. He looked downright anti-social now that there were people he didn't know well around him.

"...Princess Sakura is dead," I whispered.

"What?" He asked, not hearing me.

I noticed I still had the aventurine gripped in my hand. That's what had been put into my hand earlier. Mokona poked its head out of Fai's pocket it and took it from me. Toya didn't seem to notice, he had his death glare locked on me.

"Princess Sakura is dead," I said louder.

Immediately, I felt myself being pulled off the ground by my collar. This hurt extremely badly, for reasons I really shouldn't have to go through again. I let out a short gasp of pain.

"You let my sister die!?" He snarled, furious.

"I didn't let her die, she got killed!" I yelped pathetically. "Put me down!"

"You let her get killed!!!" I knew immediately I couldn't talk logic into him. He was beyond being sane. I felt sort of bad for him, to an extent. He had probably been looking forward to seeing Sakura for the first time in five years, and then 'that brat' he hates tells him she's dead.

"Contrary, I protected her as much as I could, your majesty!" I gasped, trying to breathe. I saw him draw back one fist, as if about to punch me in the stomach.

"Put him down!" Fai snapped, sounding...sort of like my dad, all of a sudden. Even Toya seemed surprised.

"Who the hell are you!?" He asked, irritated.

"Doesn't matter. Put him down. Sakura's not the only one who died. So did Kurogane, another friend of is, and, in case you haven't noticed his bloodstained clothes, he nearly died, too, and if you injure him any further, I don't care what country you rule, I will kick your sorry butt."

My mouth dropped open.

"...Woah," Shaoran said, completely startled.

Toya just stared for a moment, and then he dropped me abruptly. I whimpered as my back hit the ground. Shaoran held out a hand, and I took it, pulling myself to my feet (though I needed much more help from both of them then I'm willing to admit.)

"What kind of Prince picks on someone who's clearly been through a lot?" Shaoran snapped.

"Two of them?" He groaned.

"Have you even seen what condition he's in?" He said patiently.

Yukito obviously noticed, because he asked "What happened to you? You're going to need those wounds treated."

I remembered that there was the tip of a sword jammed in my arm. Slowly, I reached towards that injury and grabbed the blade tip, slowly easing the metal from the socket. Fresh blood started running down my side.

"Forgot about that wound," Shaoran admitted with a frown.

"You're going to need that seen to," Yukito said, his eyes wide in surprise.

"No, he's not," Toya snapped. I cocked my head, though I already knew what to expect. "I don't want to see that kids face in this country again. Any of yours."

"...Fine, " I said, staring directly at him, trying to prove he didn't scare me. I think he finally noticed that I only had one eye, because I identified a hint of surprise in the look he gave me.

"Look. I'm sorry about Princess Sakura. You don't think I haven't been beating myself up every day since she died? I need to move forward. She did. I know I'll see her again one day. Until then, you should just know that she's happy. I understand that my face in town will only bring her memory back, and that's not what you want. That's fine. I'll leave. Fai, you said you had somewhere in mind. Have Mokona take us there."

I reached into my pocket and took out the cherry blossom that Sakura had given me as a final gift. It was going to be hard to part with, but...I figured she'd understand.

"Here. Sakura gave this to me. She said it wouldn't die. Whether you decide to keep it is up to you. It's one of the last things that remain of her, so I suggest you do. Good luck with running Clow, Your Majesty." I turned my back to him. "I know it's hard. You shouldn't be afraid to cry, though. She taught me that. Come on, lets go."

I walked away from the town, Fai and Shaoran following me.

"I'm surprised you gave that away," Shaoran admitted.

"Toya-san's her brother. He was probably looking forward to Sakura's return, too..."

"...That was pretty dramatic," Shaoran added.

"It's death. There's nothing funny about it." He nodded his agreement. Once we were far away enough from town, Mokona hopped out.

"Where are we headed?" Mokona asked.

"Yuuko's shop, if you can, Mokona," Fai said. "You remember Amber, Aqua, and Jade? I'm hoping that we can go back there, if we pay Yuuko the right price."

I could feel that there was a smile on my face. A world Fai where wanted to settle...and a world where we had a couple of friends...

"Let's go, then," I said, smiling.

"Maybe we can sit down in the middle of the sky, stargaze, and watch the city below, like last time," Blaze said, appearing beside me.

"Mokona liked that," Mokona murmured.

"So it's settled?" Fai asked hopefully.

"Yeah!" We all said at the same time.

"Mokona Modoki, ready to go!" Mokona cried, unfurling its white wings. The magic enveloped us, and we were inhaled.


	33. Chapter 33

CHAPTER THIRTY THREE

We all landed on our feet outside Yuuko's shop. I looked up to see Yuuko already waiting for us.

"Good evening, you three," she said. I could see a slight smile on her face. "You've done well."

I straightened out, wincing as I did so.

"Your back, Syaoran...it's going to have that scar forever, most likely. You do know that? And when you were run through by your own sword...I can almost guaruntee you the scar's still there."

I glanced at Fai, who was looking away. He must've told her quite a bit while I was out cold.

"Yeah, I know," I said. "But...it doesn't matter. It was a rough journey, but I wouldn't want to forget it."

"No one would believe you, anyway," Shaoran laughed.

"That's true," I agreed with a smile.

"You two get along really well," Yuuko said, sounding pleased.

"Yeah," we both said at the same time.

"So, I'm assuming that this is about what Fai told me earlier," she said, getting to the point.

"Yes. I want to head back to the city we went to with the three sisters."

"I know the world you're talking about. More, the particular city is called Silver River."

I nodded, glad to know its name now.

"It's going to cost you all a price. Shaoran." She glanced at him. "You've already payed your freedom, time, and connections. It's more then enough of a price."

She looked at me. "Your price...is your aventurine crystal."

I glanced at the ground. It had gotten me through some tough times, it had given me hope, and it had been given to me by Jade, Amber, and Aqua. I was reluctant, but...

"OK."

"Fai, your price is your fluorite crystal-"

"Actually, I'd like to pay both prices, if I can," I interuppted. She looked at me. "What else have you got to pay?"

"...The use of my leg."

"Syaoran, that leg's starting to heal, are-" Fai began.

"Yeah, I know. I'm not sure what that fluorite crystal has gotten you through, but you've been on a rough journey, just like I have, maybe even rougher, with your past and all, and I assume it's helped. I don't want you to lose it. Besides, we'll need the girls at Silver River to recognize us somehow, right? Who knows how long its been."

There was a long silence. "Syaoran, we're talking about your leg versus a crystal here," Fai said, as if he couldn't believe I was going to go so far just to let him keep an object.

"Yeah, but it hardly works anyway." I shrugged.

"...If you say so," Yuuko said, sounding a bit doubtful. I smirked, shrugging again.

"You're insane, Syaoran," Shaoran sighed, shaking his head. He was amused, though, I could tell by the look on his face.

"Didn't I tell Soma-san we're all going to need a lot of therapy?" I asked. We all laughed. I was surprised when even Yuuko did.

Mokona spit out the aventurine crystal. I took it and handed it to Yuuko. Magic started to swirl around my leg, and I felt it going numb again. Fai was looking at me as if saying 'if you want to turn back, you should say so now.' I didn't say anything. Mokona hopped over to Yuuko, and she placed a finger against the jewel on its forehead.

"Mokona Modoki, ready to go!" It announced, going 'boink.' "Is everybody ready for our final destination?"

We all nodded.

"Mokona Modoki's so excited!" It squeaked, letting out a cute little giggle before the magic swirled around us, mixed in with a light blue color.

"Syaoran?" I heard Fai say. I glanced over at him.

"Thanks."

I smiled slightly. "No problem."

We were all then inhaled.

*

Mokona dropped Shaoran and Fai into a pile, and nicely spit me out right next to the pile.

"I want a taco!!" Screamed four different voices to a bunch of lame sounding instruments, which suddenly jolted to a stop when we crashed into the room.

"What the hell is a taco?" Shaoran asked, glancing at me.

"I don't know," I responded. "I didn't know what youtube was, either. Maybe it's a website?"

"Syaoran!?" Yelped a startled voice.

I looked up to see Aqua standing over me. She seemed a little bit older, but not much.

"Fai!" Amber cried, getting to her feet and running over to us.

"Syaoran has a twin, it looks like," Jade giggled, walking over.

"Actually, I'm a clone," I muttered inaudibly to myself, standing up. A boy who appeared to be Amber's age walked over to us.

"Fai, Syaoran, and..."

"My name's Shaoran as well," Shaoran said. "It's just spelt differently."

"OK, well, this is cousin Jake. He was just teaching us guitar."

"So you're screaming about tacos?" I asked, rubbing my eyes as I stood up and leaned against the wall. "And you sounded horrible," Shaoran added.

"Yeah, we're randomly strumming, we're not actually playing anything. Jake plays really well, though."

"Is taco a website?" I asked. Jade, Amber, and Jake all doubled over laughing.

"It's a food," Aqua laughed, wiping tears from her eyes.

"Never heard of it," I said, shrugging.

"...Your arm didn't recover, did it?" Aqua noticed, her eyes filling with tears. I glanced over at the bloody shoulder. "No, we had to amputate it."

"I'm sorry," Jade whispered.

"It's not your fault," I assured them, shaking my head.

"Your eye--" Amber began.

"You're covered in blood, your life must suck," Jake concluded.

"It's over now," I assured them, smiling. "We've accomplished what we've needed to."

"Does that mean you can stay!?" Amber asked.

"Huh? Y-Yeah, only if you want us to--"

"Yes!" The three sisters said.

"...Did you miss them?" Shaoran asked, laughing at our clear shock and embarassment.

"I missed them so much," Aqua admitted.

"And to think we met Syaoran in the girl's bathroom..." Jade said.

"What were you doing in the girl's bathroom!?" Jake asked.

"Running from someone...who I definitely owe an apology." I shook my head.

Fai was glomped by Amber. I laughed. Until I was glomped by the twins. And then Shaoran and Jake laughed at both of us.

"We have enough guest rooms, if you have no house to go to," Aqua offered.

"If-If it's no trouble..." Fai whispered.

"Mokona, could I please...um...have that 'bottle of water'?" I asked.

"You kept that?" Amber seemed surprised.

"Y-Yeah...I have two, though..." I looked away uneasily. Mokona gave me the bottle.

"What in that?" Jake asked. The bottle was transparent, so...

"...You're much better off not knowing," I told him, taking a sip. My eye turned gold, and I wiped off the blood that was on my mouth on the back of my gloved hand.

"It looks like blood," Jade admitted.

"What do you think I am, a vampire?" I asked, handing the bottle back to Mokona, who giggled. There was no response otherwise.

"Anyway, you won't have to worry too much about feeding me." I headed down the stairs, staggering every step and using the wall and stair railing for support. Aqua followed me down.

"You're injured," she said. "You're covered in blood. And I know you probably don't want to call a doctor, so I want to help in any way I can."

I stayed silent for a moment, then relented with a sigh. "Sure. If you have any bandages, that's about all I can think of..."

"I've got something that stops wounds from hurting for a while, if you want," she offered. I blinked.

"Um...the wounds on my back are sort of deep...you probably don't want to help me out," I finally said.

"I do!" She insisted. "Please."

I sighed, shaking my head. "I'm only going to be a burden here, I can tell."

"Best. Burden. Ever," she laughed, leading me to the guest room.

I sat down on the bed and, cringing, I pulled up the back of my shirt. She hissed through gritted teeth. "Oh god...Um...I'll be right back." She darted out of the room and came back a second later with bandages, some sort of numbing cream, painkiller, and antibiotics.

She called Jade, and together, they both managed to heal the wounds as well as they could.

They also told me that they called some sort of company that does fake arms, which sounded sort of unbelievable to me, but I decided not to doubt it aloud.

"When's your birthday?" Aqua asked randomly as she started bandaging up the shoulder with the missing arm.

"April 1st," I sighed offhandedly. I was exhausted. Which was weird, because I hadn't done much.

"...Including today, that's two days from now," Jade said.

"Cool."

"How old are you going to be?" Aqua asked.

"Seventeen," I muttered.

"I think we should throw a party!" Jade laughed.

"N-No!" I said, shaking my head vigorously. "I don't need one. It's just another year." _And being a vampire, I'm going to have a very long life...well, as long as Fai lives, anyway._

"You should celebrate every year you're alive, Syaoran," Aqua said with a shrug. "It doesn't have to be some huge party, but we should still celebrate."

"...Do clone's deserve birthday party's?" I said.

"...Clone?"

"Yeah, I'm a clone of Shaoran, my look-alike from upstairs."

"...Clones deserve birthday partys if I have anything to say about it," Jade decided.

"Yeah!" Aqua agreed. Then she stood back. "There you go, we're done. The anti-biotics should stop the cuts...heh...understatement...from getting infected...though I'm surprised you're not dead..."

"...About that-" I began. Then Amber opened the door. "Pizza's here."

The two sisters glanced at me.

"I'm fine, I'm going to sleep for the night."

They nodded. "Goodnight, Syaoran," They both said.

"Goodnight, Amber-san, Aqua-san, Jade-san."

"You don't need to say -san. We don't do that in this city," Amber informed me with a shrug.

"...It would feel a bit strange if I didn't..."

"That's OK, do whatever you're comfortable doing," Aqua said. "Come on, pizza's getting cold."

The three sisters left. The two twins were just full of energy, it seemed. I smiled. Amber must've had her hands full. They got along pretty well, though. I thought it through. Fai must've had his hands full with me and Shaoran. So I guess he and Amber were a lot alike on that viewpoint...

I sighed. No wonder he clearly liked her. My eyes fell shut.

*

"So this is the Silver River town park, I guess," Shaoran said, as we stopped by a large expanse of grass.

It was the next day, and Shaoran and I were walking around town, trying to learn more about the place. By the park was an alleyway, and this was right behind the house of the sisters.

"...It's nice," I said with a shrug. "I like it."

"Me too," he admitted.

"It probably looks nice after it snows," I said. "Speaking of snow, isn't it in the middle of Spring? Doesn't feel like it, it's freezing."

"Hey," said a quiet voice, as a girl tapped my shoulder.

"Hm?" I turned around...and found myself staring at Sakura. I tensed, and took a step back. The girl was holding her hands to her mouth, as if nervous to speak.

"I'm...I'm sorry, but...I remember you from the mall three months ago."

"Y-Yeah..." I said, finding myself shivering. Sakura...

"Your name was Melody, right?" I forced myself to say. She nodded.

"I..erm...just wanted to say...I'm sorry if I scared you..."

"It-It's fine..." I said. "You just...remind me of someone I know."

"What she mean to you?" She asked.

"No...she died." I looked away.

"I'm sorry..." Melody sounded upset.

"It's not your fault. It's just sort of hard for me."

"I understand." She shrugged. "I'm sure she's happy now."

"I'm sure she is too," I said, forcing a smile. Suddenly, a boy came up from behind us. I noticed him when I heard the sound of knuckles cracking. "Get away from my sister," he snapped.

"...That's Toya, isn't it?" Shaoran asked.

"I'm dead," I muttered. I turned around to face him. Yup, definitely Toya.

"How do you know my name!?" He snapped, irritated.

"Um..." How do you answer something like that?

His hand shot out to grab my collar.

"You lift my brother into the air by the collar, you die," Shaoran said, catching his wrist.

"Br-Brother...?" I asked in surprise, glancing at him. "You--You know that's not true...I'm your clone..."

I heard Melody gasp in surprise. Were clones normal here...? I wasn't sure. Probably not.

"Pfft, details. You look exactly like me, our names are technically the same, we speak at the same time...besides, 'brother' sounds a lot better then 'clone', doesn't it? So..." He shrugged.

I smiled. "...Thanks." I felt tears come to my eyes. Oh god. I wiped them away and swore. "I'm getting sentimental."

Melody laughed. "What are your names?"

"Syaoran," we both said.

"Spelt differently," Shaoran added.

"How does that help when you say it...?" Toya asked, irritated. (No matter what world he's in, he's always irritated...)

"It only helps when you read it," I said with a shrug.

"Where are people going to read it?" Melody asked.

"I don't know, a story?"

Before either one of them could ask, there was the sound of someone wailing from the alley. "Brother!!"

I turned around and ran for the alley. I don't know why, I just felt like I had to. I stopped in front of two kids. Twins. Boys. They appeared to be about thirteen. They were wearing rags...

This hit me, hard. They were homeless, I assumed. I knew exactly what it was like to be in that situation. I had been tossed out in the streets right after I was cloned...

I bent down so I was eyelevel with the kids. One of them was having a hard time breathing, the other one was trying to get him to wake up.

"Please!" He whimpered.

I took off my jacket. Amber had told me to wear one on my way out the door. I guess they knew it'd be cold out. I placed it against the twin who was unresponsive. The other kid looked up at me, desperately.

"You two are homeless, right?" I asked. He nodded.

"I was when I was younger too. What's wrong with your brother?"

"I don't know," he whispered. "Brother!"

Good thing Fai wasn't here. He'd had a twin too, and he'd died...it was like someone had combined our two hard childhoods and thrown them onto two kids.

Shaoran screeched to a halt behind me. "What's going--" he cut short. "...Who're they...?"

"Homeless twins," I muttered sadly.

"Deja Vu," he said, shaking his head.

"We can't just leave then here," I decided. "If you need some help, I think I know someone right for the job." I offered my hand. (My only hand.) He stared at me for a moment, then glanced at his brother. "I'm not leaving without him."

"I didn't say you were."

Shaoran picked up his twin. The boy glanced at me. "Can I trust you...?" He asked.

"I promise you, my life's sucked worse than yours."

"Wanna bet?" He muttered, but he sounded a bit like he wanted to laugh.

I smiled. "Maybe later."

The kid grabbed my hand and I pulled him to his feet.

"You're being awfully nice to these kids, Syaoran..." Shaoran muttered sceptically.

"Homeless twins. It's like combining my past and Fai's. Seriously, if life is a story, then the story of my life needs a new author."

With that, we headed home.

"What happened here!?" Amber asked as we pushed the door open.

"Homeless twins. Remind you of anything, Fai?" I asked. He nodded.

"If your lives have an author, then he or she is mean," Aqua said.

"Tell me about it," I muttered.

"Who are these children, anyway?" Amber asked as she picked up the unreponsive twin and placed him on the couch, checking for a pulse. I glanced at the one who was awake.

"Leo and Kunou," he muttered. "I'm Kunou, my twin's Leo. We're orphans. We've been living on the street for a week."

I nodded.

"Fai, Amber, congratulations, you have children!" Mokona squeaked.

"Wh--WHAT!?" The two yelled simultaneously. Shaoran doubled over laughing.

"Where'd Jake go, anyway?" I asked, sniggering.

"Oh, he went home, somewhere across the street," Jade said.

Aqua was busy laughing and Amber.

Kunou walked over to me.

"Yeah, your life probably does suck more." He was glancing at my missing arm.

"See, no matter how much your life sucks, there's always someone whos life sucks more."

"I hope that's not all you learned from our journey," Shaoran laughed.

"No, I also learned that if you love someone, you should tell them...you know, before they're dead?" I shrugged. Then, something clicked in my mind.

"...I'm heading to my room. Can I please use the computer, Aqua-san?"

"Sure."

I headed to the room, sat down, and started typing. I was glad the keyboard was in a language I could read. I wasn't very fast, but I got about twenty pages down by the nine o'clock. (I started in the afternoon.) At that point, Fai came in to check on me.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"...Writing," I muttered.

"About what?"

"..." I saved the document and was about to shut it down when Fai grabbed my wrist and started reading. I looked away, sort of embarassed.

"...Is this...is this the journey you were writing?" He asked, slightly surprised.

"Y-Yeah..." I muttered. "It was."

He looked thoughtful. "Can I please print this?"

I nodded slowly. "If you can find out how. How's Kunou, and Leo?"

"Leo? Not sure what had him before, but he's better now." I nodded slightly. "That's good. Are you and Amber going to take care of them?"

He went red in the face, while I coughed to cover my laughter.

"Depends, if we can't find someone else to, and if they decide they like it here..." He shook his head. "What was that thing you mentioned about confessing to people before they die earlier? It was sort of strange."

"...Met up with Melody today."

"Sakura?"

"Yeah."

"Look, she's happier now. So's Kurogane."

"It doesn't make it any easier," I said.

The 'story' I was writing started to print.

"There we go." Fai walked over to the printer and collected the pages, taking some empty sheets out as well. "I'm heading upstairs to the guestroom. Goodnight, Syaoran." He left.

I shut down the computer and fell down face-first on the bed. I didn't even realize it as I fell asleep.

*

_The leader's monster had Sakura under it's paw and was crushing her as it slowly put it's weight on her back.  
_

_I didn't control my next attack. It seemed to erupt out of desperation by itself._

_I held up my hands and screamed "Raitei Shorai!!!!" _

_Lightning crackled and exploded towards the monster on top of her. It hit the monster dead on._

_  
The monster reared back on its hind legs, releasing Sakura from its grasp. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her to her feet. "Behind me!" I said, my voice shaking. She listened without a word. I wondered who was more scared for her life, her or me._

_The monster leapt at us. The man with the exploded nose had recovered and had sent his monster/kudan at both of us. It slashed its claws at Sakura. I dragged her downwards, and the paw barely missed our head. _

"This sucks!" I panted.

_"Thanks for saving me back there," Sakura whispered. I smiled slightly and nodded. _

_"I'll protect you, no matter what, OK?" I assured her. She nodded. _

_The two monsters leapt at us at once. We both darted to the side, trying to escape their claws and teeth. _

_The ground under Sakura's feet shook. I pushed her out of the way, just as the paw of the creature who had grabbed my foot earlier shot out, claws unsheathed, and nailed me in the back, causing me to fall down and land face first on the floor._

_  
"Syaoran!" Sakura screamed._

_Blaze burst into flames around me, but it did no good as the monster dug its claws deeper and deeper into my back...everything disappeared in a grey haze._

_I found myself walking across the dream realm. Or was it the spirit realm? I didn't know anymore. I stopped in front of Sakura's silver outline._

_"I'll always be there. Don't worry about me, OK?" She said._

I shot upright. It was dark in my room, but when I looked at the clock, it said noon. I looked downwards.

"Sakura?" I whispered, silently begging to hear her voice respond. The silence bothered me.

"Damn it..." I whispered. "Damn it!" I banged my fists against the wall. "Why is it I'm not strong enough to protect the ones I care about!?"

"Syaoran...?" A quiet voice asked, as the door eased open.

"Aqua-san," I greeted dully.

"Did anyone ever tell you our last name? Because you've been repeating it for the past five minutes."

"...I don't understand," I muttered.

"Sakura," she said. "That's my last name. Aqua Sakura. Jade Sakura. Amber Sakura."

"Everywhere I go...everything reminds me of that one girl I couldn't protect...She traveled with me for most of the journey...even after she died...I was just alone that whole second half, it feels like..."

"You weren't alone. What about Fai?" She said, sitting down and putting a hand on my shoulder.

"He had his own problems."

"But you dealt with them together. He told me that."

"You believe him?" I asked.

"If it were anyone else, I wouldn't. But this is you and Fai we're talking about."

"You hardly know us."

"You fell from the sky. If that isn't evidence that you're dimension travelers, what is?"

"Fai really trusts you guys, huh?"

"He hardly knows us." She shrugged. "Do you think...you could ever trust us, too?"

There was a long silence. "If I could trust anyone, it would be you guys."

She smiled. "By the way, I liked your joke back two days ago. 'What do you think I am, a vampire?' And that's what you are. I laughed."

"Heh." I found myself sort of entertained by that, too.

"Come on, we're all waiting for you outside."

"Why would you be waiting for me?" I asked.

"Come on!" She said, grabbing my wrist and pulling me out of my room, to the living room...

Where there was a cake on the table and a couple of presents.

"Happy birthday!" Amber, Aqua, Jade, Mokona, Shaoran, and Fai all said. I smiled.

"I said you didn't have to," I reminded them.

"We did anyway," Amber giggled.

"That's very nice of all of you. Thanks."

"Stop being overly-polite! We're friends," Jade said.

"We are?" I asked, blinking.

"Yeah, of course we are!" Aqua laughed.

"We came back for for them, Syaoran!" Mokona squeaked. "We obviously don't hate them now, do we?"

I nodded. "I guess not. Where are Leo and Kunou?"

"They're playing video games. They made you a card, though." Amber laughed.

"You really didn't have to," I said, suddenly feeling a little shy.

"Relax, we do this on our birthdays, too!" Aqua assured me.

"Hey, Shaoran, if I'm your clone, doesn't that make this your birthday too?"

He winced. "I was sort of hoping you wouldn't bring that up..." Everyone laughed.

"Cake!" Mokona squeaked, eyeing the table.

"...OK," I said shrugging.

"First, Syaoran, I wanted to give you this." Fai walked over to the couch, and when he came back, he was holding a small book. It was read right to left, and contained lots of pictures. On the front cover was me and Sakura, and, in big text on the top: "Tsubasa RESERVior CHRoNiCLE."

"What's this...?" I asked.

"Remember that I printed your story? Well, I wrote a manga off of it. I was working on it all night. It was fun!" Fai smiled. "Mokona helped with the language barrier. I sent it to the publishers, too. We got a response saying they'd be happy to publish it. You could become an author here, Syaoran!" They all laughed, even though I completely didn't get it.

"You can make a career writing books! I've always wanted to do that!" Amber said.

"...You can make a career from that?" I asked, slightly surprised.

"Yeah!" The sisters said.

"...Sounds like fun." I smiled.

"Are you going to call it an autobiography or a fictional piece of writing?" Aqua asked.

"...Probably fiction, who in their right minds would believe otherwise?" I said.

"True," Aqua said with a shrug.

"Now can we have cake?" Mokona asked.

"I'm not stopping you," I told it in amusement.

We all sat down and ate.

***

Night time again. Slowly, I stood up. "Blaze, can we head outside?"

He nodded. "I've been hoping we could."

I pushed open the window, and flaming platforms started to appear, leading up towards the sky.

"Come on." As I stepped up them, they started to disappear behind me.

"Syaoran!" A voice called. I turned around and saw Mokona on the window ledge. I grinned, and Blaze had the panels reappear. It scampered up and leapt into my hands, and I placed it on my shoulder.

We finished the walk up the steps and sat down, staring at the stars.

"It reminds me of last time we were here," I admitted, looking at the full moon. "Only now, Shaoran's free, Sakura's safe, and Fei-Wang Reed's dead..."

Blaze nodded. "It's been an honour helping you out. But I was a little upset that you nearly let yourself get killed. Even if it was a smart plan, and, if I recall, Sakura had a plan sort of like it if you'd lost your soul."

I nodded lightly. "I was sort of a burden, looking back on it," I muttered sadly.

"You were the most useful burden ever."

I laughed. Blaze laughed, too, and then whimpered.

"But..."

I glanced at it, knowing exactly what to expect. I decided I'd say it for him.

"You've got to leave, don't you?"

He nodded. "Your journey's over. I should probably look for someone else who needs my help."

"I understand, Blaze...I owe you a lot." I felt an unexplainable sadness well up inside of me.

"I can keep these platforms up. They can stay here forever, even after you're gone, if you want. But I need to take my leave now."

I nodded. "I'll miss you, Blaze. I guess dogs really are a man's best friend...other then Fai."

He laughed. "Yeah, Fai's just awesome like that." Then he went back to being serious. "Goodbye, Syaoran. It's been an honor helping you out."

He rested his chin against my shoulder. I put my hand on his back.

"Thanks...for everything."

And I couldn't explain it, but I felt as if I'd lost another friend as he disappeared into the night sky in the form of smoke.

"...Is Syaoran gonna be alright?" Mokona asked after a moment.

"Yeah," I assured it. "I am."

"Syaoran's feeling sad."

"Yeah."

"It's OK," Mokona said, hugging my wrist. I smiled. "I think I said thanks to you last time we were up here, but I owe you another one. Thanks for all the help you've provided for us on our journey."

Mokona giggled, before looking thoughtful. "...An author, huh? Is that what Syaoran wants to do?"

I shrugged. "Sure, why not? Fai got me a pretty good deal. Besides, writing yesterday was fun." I glanced down at it. "Have you been in contact with Ming?"

It nodded. "Yeah, Ming's good to talk to. Soel, Larg, and Ming have talked three way!" It squeed. "It was so much fun!"

I let out a content sigh. "I think Fai chose the right place to settle," I said. "What do you think?"

"Mokona loves it here!" It agreed. It fell silent for a moment. "...Do you like Aqua or Jade the same way you liked Sakura?"

I shook my head. "I doubt I'll ever fall in love again. But that's OK by me. Amber and Fai might be in love, though, which is nice, because with a past like Fai's, you think he'd be incapable of loving anyone."

Mokona giggled. "True. The two have a lot in common. Emotionally, they both understand each other. Amber's lost a sister that Aqua and Jade can't remember. That's what Amber told Mokona. She blames herself, sort of like Yuui blames himself for Fai's death. They both look after two children--"

"Shaoran and I aren't children," I protested.

"Riiiight." It rolled its eyes. "Anyway, Mokona thinks they make a cute couple."

I nodded slightly. "I think that they'll get along well. On a different note, Fai's also a really good artist. I was flipping through the manga, the pictures of the characters looked almost exactly like us."

"He made Mokona too fat," it joked. I smiled.

"You did eat a lot of cake earlier."

"Hey!"

We both laughed. Then I sighed, shaking my head. "We should head back to my room."

Mokona hopped onto my shoulder, and I stood up, heading back towards the house. Fai was at the window when I came back down.

"Did Jay leave, too?" I asked. He nodded. "Yeah."

I sat down on the bed and shut the window. "You're an awesome artist."

"You're an awesome writer."

I shrugged. "If you say so."

"Your self esteem is non-existant, Syaoran."

"My life was confusing, it hurt a lot, and it was constantly a pile of angst."

"Good times, huh?" Shaoran laughed as he entered the room.

"...How long am I going to be alive?" I felt strange, not knowing the answer. Too many unanswered questions, too many subjects to think about...

"That depends. A couple hundred years, I'd say, because that's how much longer I'm going to live."

"We'll make the best of it," Shaoran said, holding his fist out. I remembered that from back in Oto. I returned the gesture. "Live like you were going to die tomorrow. That's what the sisters told me."

"The Sakura sisters."

The two glanced at me. "Aqua-san told me their last name was Sakura."

"Coincidence or Hitsuzen?" Fai asked.

"...We know the answer," I said. I looked towards the full moon. "The worst is over. Live like you're going to die tomorrow...I like it." There was a grin on my face "We've got a long future ahead of us...but I think we all need some sleep first."

The two nodded and stood up.

"Goodnight, guys," I said as they left the room.

"Goodnight, Syaoran," they both said as the door clicked shut.

_"Hang in there...if you can pull through this, you don't have to worry anymore." _The words were still there in my mind. I pulled through the injuries. And I wasn't worried anymore. And...maybe, for the first time, I felt safe, too.

_Authors Note: For anyone who is curious, I figured you might find it interesting to know that Aqua, Amber, Jade, Jake, Leo and Kunou are all crossovers from my writing. xD_


	34. Chapter 34

CHAPTER THIRTY FOUR

"I'm heading downstairs, to the basement, Mokona," I called weakly over my shoulder. "OK," Mokona called in response, sounding a little sad. I guess we all knew that I was running out of time. Since Fai had died two years ago, I'd been slowly losing energy. The only reason I hadn't died two weeks after him is because Mokona requested that I tried to stay alive for as long as possible.

Shaoran, Jade, Aqua, Amber, Leo, Kunou...they had all died. I guess it's one of the downsides to having an overly extended life span. You outlive everyone else.

Four hundred and seventeen years. I don't know why I bothered going on for two more years after Fai and Amber had left. Well, Mokona and I had a lot of fun, I guess. You'd be amazed how many ideas a rabbit-pork-bun creature can think up of when its only companion is a dying vampire cripple.

At the bottom step, I found that I couldn't force myself to keep moving any further. My legs collapsed under me, and I hit the floor shoulder first. It wasn't the first time. But whatever 'game' that Mokona had kept saved for me was gone. As I looked for a handhold and found none, I knew it would probably be the last time I'd fall. _Strange place to die,_ I thought. _Starving alone in a basement. Considering the rest of my life, that's pretty depressing and anti-climactic._

And slow, as well. I'd been out of food for almost two weeks.

I heard the sound of Mokona hopping down the steps. "Syaoran...?" It whispered. It probably had sort of expected this. It stopped in front of me. I gave the slightest nod of greeting. I wasn't even sure if Mokona caught it.

"Syaoran's eye is glazed over," it noted miserably. I didn't even try to respond this time.

"Here."

It hopped over to my real hand. I'd gotten a fake one a long time ago, not long after I'd arrived in Silver River with Fai and Shaoran. It placed something in my hand and gently wrapped my fingers around it. I was familiar with the energy that was provided, but I couldn't name what the object was...

"It's your aventurine crystal, remember, Syaoran?" Mokona whispered, hopping back into view.

"...I thought I gave this to Yuuko," I rasped.

"You did. Mokona got it back, at a price."

There was a long silence.

"...Yuuko told Mokona that it should give the crystal back to Syaoran when he was dying." It finished. "And...that...if that's what Mokona decided to do...then Mokona should...and would...die with him."

That startled me, but it was sort of hard to express it. "...Why would you want to--"

"...Almost everyone Syaoran and Mokona know are dead. ...Larg died two nights ago."

"I didn't even know that Mokona's could die," I admitted.

"We can now," it said, laughing grimly. I noticed it was beginning to sound weaker. I tightened my grip as much as I could on the crystal. Mokona lied down by my neck.

"We all had a lot of fun, didn't we?" Mokona asked. "Fai, Amber, Aqua, Jade, even Shaoran, before..."

"We did," I agreed.

"Remember that party we had for Amber's 30th birthday?" It laughed, though the laugh was a bit dry, and maybe forced. "We all got drunk." I managed to laugh at that.

"I can hardly remember that night. I just had a bad headache in the morning."

"Mokona recalls the police getting involved," it said.

"I don't."

"Maybe Mokona dreamed that."

"I think the dream I had that night involved a pony, two pounds of explosives, Kurogane, and a shot gun."

"Who died?"

"I can't remember. Someone did, though."

Mokona laughed. "Mokona's sorry for having you stay two years after Fai died, Syaoran." I could hear it's voice getting quieter, its breaths shorter. I sort of felt like it was my fault. But Mokona had decided on its own, so...

"Mokona didn't want to leave Larg alone...and...it didn't want to be left alone."

"No one wants to be left alone," I assured it. "It's not just you."

It smiled, its whole body shuddering. "But you really didn't have to go as far as to technically pay with your life for a crystal..."

"Mokona wanted to," it said. "Thanks for keeping Mokona company longer then you had to, Syaoran."

"It was no trouble at all," I whispered. "Thanks for always being there."

I didn't know how long it took, but Mokona eventually fell still. I'll admit it: I cried. I kept my hand on the little creatures head the whole time. I thought it was a bit insane for using its life as a price for a crystal, but I'd used the use of my leg for the same thing, so I guessed I was probably as insane as it was.

Everything started to fade. I felt myself going numb. My eyes sort of fell half shut. Mokona disappeared as I saw the world change into the spirit and real world border. It felt sort of strange, maybe even a little bit scary, to be here again.

A figure loomed over me. I managed to look up without moving my head.

It was Ming. She had taken a human form, a human girl, not unlike Soel had in the Spirit forest four hundred and seventeen years go had.

"It has been a long time coming, hasn't it?" She said. "You've pulled through a lot. You did go far, just like Kurogane said you would. Famous author. I never would've thought."

I didn't react.

"Jade and Aqua were an awesome duet pair, as well. Amber and Fai wrote some pretty good books, and, needless to say, there were awesome magicians. No one ever worked out their secrets."

I let out a snort that was supposed to be laughter.

"Fai probably would've lived much longer if he hadn't given half of his magic to Amber so they could continue living together."

That wasn't news to me.

Ming bent down beside me and placed her hand on my shoulder. The one without an arm. It started to glow.

"Since you're discarding your real body where it is, I can heal your spirit. You don't have to be a cripple in the spirit realm."

I didn't say anything, because I couldn't. My arm re-materialized. She ran her index finger down my non-working leg, and I felt the muscles jolt. I wasn't sure how this healing worked. I would probably never know.

She removed my eyepatch, and a gold light appeared in her hand. "Remember this?"

It was the spirit Shaoran had given to me, that she'd taken all those years ago.

"The spirit in it's gone, but you can have your eye back." It glowed and disappeared, and I had a feeling it was forming back in its socket. That eye was jammed closed.

I was still breathing in the real world, but just barely.

She held out her hand to me.

"Have you done everything you need to? Your friends are waiting."

I stared at her.

"Ming..." I whispered with my final breath. Tentatively, I grabbed her hand and pulled myself to my feet, discarding my body where it lay, freeing myself of my life on Silver River.

_Authors Note: There was originally a newspaper article that went with this chapter. Unfortunately, I can't post it here._


	35. Epilogue

EPILOGUE

The rain continued to pour down as I walked down the muddy path. It rained in the spirit world, too. I wouldn't have minded on any other occasion. After all, it wasn't cold, it wasn't overly messy, and, after all, it was just rain. But it sort of matched how I was feeling.

I'd been wandering for about a week. I didn't know where Aqua, Fai, Amber, Jade, not even Mokona, had disappeared to. Mokona probably had Larg waiting for it to show it the way. I was glad, at least. I didn't mind making my way alone. It felt good to have some time to think things over.

My main concern, of course, was Kurogane and Sakura. Four hundred and seventeen years...being a vampire, my appearance hadn't changed much. I only appeared to be about eighteen. Maybe nineteen. But still, did they even remember me after such a long time? And Kurogane. I was still worried about the whole fight with his replica at the forest in the final battle. It couldn't get to them, I'd been assured over and over again...but I'd let it go once I saw him myself.

Sakura probably didn't have any more feelings for me after the time had gone on like that. Me, I couldn't forget her, being surrounded by three girls with her first name as their last. I hadn't been lying to Mokona when we were standing above the city: I had never fallen in love again. Even though Fai and Amber had eventually gotten married, and Shaoran and Jade, of all people, had developed a relationship. I was close to Aqua, who admitted she had a crush on me, but it never became serious, probably because I didn't let it, and she didn't, either, on my behalf.

Down-hearted, I sat down by a tree and curled up into a ball, resting my head on my arms. I would find them, I knew I would. But who knew when? I just had to be patient. I just had to keep looking. I couldn't give up.

The gentle sound of the rain was rather calming, if not a bit annoying to walk in, and it showed no signs of letting up. I sighed. No point in just waiting around. I got to my feet. It started to rain even harder as I continued to head down the path I'd been following for three days.

Was I even going the right way? I needed to find them. It'd been three hundred years since I'd talked to Aqua, Shaoran, and Jade. They hadn't lived extended life spans. Amber and Fai were probably united at this point, they'd died at the same time, after all. Kurogane was probably still looking after Sakura. Soel and Larg were...probably telling funny stories in a tree. I couldn't imagine them doing anything else. I put my hand in my pocket and tightly clenched the aventurine crystal. I would find them.

"Hey," said a voice behind me. I realized I'd stopped walking and was just staring into the distance.

"Kid."

I turned around. I knew who was there almost immediately.

"...Kurogane?" I asked. I was worried he was just going to disappear in front of me. I'd grown use to seeing my friends in my dreams, just to have them vanish as I woke up.

He stood right there, as if trying to work out who I was. I probably looked a little different, being four hundred and seventeen, not sixteen, as he'd known me.

"It's been a while, hasn't it, Syaoran?" He finally said.

I hugged him. What else was I going to do? I was sure he thought I was going to do something that preserved my dignity. But I didn't care.

I found it funny that, as old as I was, he was still taller than me.

He put a hand on my head. "You haven't changed a bit, kid," he said. He didn't sound like it bothered him. I stepped back. The rain was falling a lot harder, and I stopped brushing the droplets of water off my face, now glad it was raining, because, I wasn't sure, but I might've been crying.

"I've missed you guys so much," I said. "All of you."

"We're waiting by the place you and Fai buried us," he said. "We've all been looking for you since Ming told us that you came here. I told them I'd venture out a little further, and they could wait back."

I nodded slightly. "I...was actually a bit worried about you..."

"Shaoran told me. That Fei-Wang Reed is a bloody coward, isn't he?"

"Bloody dead coward," I agreed with satisfaction.

"Come on, the princess has been longing to see you since the second we left. Those sisters, the magician, the pork buns, and...the other children...have been waiting as well."

"Aqua, Amber, Jade, Kunou, and Leo," I said. "Amber and Fai were Kunou and Leo's adoptive parents, did either of them tell you that?"

He gave a short laughed. "Too embarassed. Lets go."

I followed him towards a large Sakura tree and a sword jammed into the dirt. I guess the burial spots we'd given them had formed in both realms.

"Syaoran!" Yelled two voices, and I felt myself get barreled over by two hyperactive, familiar twins.

"Aqua, Jade, it's good to see you!" I laughed.

"We met Sakura!" Aqua said. "You two are so perfect together! I'm so glad I shipped you two when I was alive."

Kurogane gave me a weird look.

"Fai didn't tell you that we wrote mangas about our life story?" I asked, cocking my head.

"Nope, he was hoping we could discuss when we all got together."

I nodded, standing up. "Is Amber here?"

"I thinks she and Fai are making out behind a tree," Jade laughed.

"They are not," Aqua hissed, elbowing her sister, who laughed harder.

"Are the Mokona's telling each other funny stories in a tree?" I asked.

"Is it that obvious?" Kurogane said, snorting with laughter.

"Yeah. Where's Sakura, Kunou, and Leo?" I asked. I had to stop myself from saying 'Mainly Sakura.'

"The two male twins? They're trying to convince their parents that they're old enough to sword fight. How old were they when they died?"

"...About...fifty three? They were in a car accident," I said regretfully. "Ironically, though, despite the fact they had hard lives, they grew up to be pretty good therapists."

Kurogane burst out laughing. I covered up my laughter with a cough.

"I think they were happiest at about the age of fifteen, though, because that's the age their spirits took."

I nodded slightly. "Where's Sakura?" I probably didn't sound as patient this time.

"She's dancing to the sound of the wind somewhere a little further into the forest nearby. The girl's got a gift to hearing music in the air, or something sort of weird."

"It doesn't surprise me." I admitted with a shrug before walking straight forward and heading for the trees. Before I did, however, I came to a stop. There was something I wanted to show Kurogane...

"Kurogane. Your sword. May I see it?"

He seemed a bit confused, but didn't object, taking it out of its sheathe and handing it to me before stepping back. It had been a while since I'd done this, I hoped I hadn't gotten too rusty. Taking an even breath, I yelled "Hama Ryu-o-Jin!"

A large amount of energy exploded out of the sword , flying in all directions. Though it obviously didn't do as much damage as it would have done outside of the spirit realm, it left large glowing slashes on the trees that represented what would've happened, what would've fallen down, and what might've exploded.

There was a long silence, and I handed his sword back. "...Um...what do you think?" I asked, feeling a little insecure.

Slowly, he grinned. "Nice. We're going to have to practice sometime, kid."

"Y-Yeah." I couldn't hold back the satisfaction that I felt. "That'd be fun."

"You go find the princess, OK? I'll get everyone else." I nodded and made my way through the trees. Kurogane didn't follow me, and I'm sure I know why, other than just looking for everyone else.

I found Sakura in a clearing. Whatever she was hearing, I wasn't, but she looked happy. She also looked beautiful.

"Sakura?" I called quietly, not really wanting to interupt here. She stopped in the middle of a spin and turned to look at me. Her eyes widened.

"Syaoran...?" She sounded hopeful. I took a slight step forward. She walked cautiously over to me, and slowly, she wrapped her arms around me.

"Oh my God, you're real," she whispered. I nodded slightly and hugged her, too. She squeezed me tighter, muttering "Oh my God," over and over again.

"I thought you'd forget about me, actually," I muttered.

"Never," she responded. She then grabbed my wrist. "Come on, I want to hear what you and Fai have been up to, Shaoran, too."

She was so full of energy that it made me smile. We both technically raced each other to the sakura tree, where the rest of the group was waiting.

Aqua and Jade let out joyful cheers and started clapping. I found myself turning slightly red in the face.

"So, how have you been, Syaoran?" Fai asked. I smiled slightly. It'd been two years since I'd seen him and Amber, who were standing side by side, arms around each other.

"Well, it's been...interesting. Hanging out with Mokona...well, it made the best of only having a cripple for company. A dying cripple, might I add."

"Soon after you died, Syaoran published a book about vampires!" Mokona giggled from the tree.

"Syaoran!" Amber scolded.

"Eh, no one's going to find out. It's not like I have living blood relatives left. Besides, you can't fault me, you two became magicians."

Kurogane and Sakura turned to glare at the two. Fai smiled cheerfully, Amber turned bright red.

"What'd you do, Syaoran?" Sakura asked.

"Erm...I became an author. I published our life as a fictional manga with Fai, and once that was complete, I started publishing books. They were all sort of strange and violent. I even made up what happened to Hanshin, since I was never given the full story. It was fun."

Sakura smiled. "I learned how to fight with a sword. I've been practicing what I learn against Kurogane. I'm not good, but..."

My eyes widened. "That's cool!" I was actually pretty surprised.

"...Syaoran, you really mean 'that's hot,' don't you?" Shaoran teased.

"Shut up," I whimpered, cringing. I could hear them all pretending not to laugh at me.

"What about you guys?" I asked, changing the subject.

"I've been exploring the spirit realm. Running into others. I met up with the guy who destroyed the furniture back in Oto," Kurogane said.

"Ryuo-san?" I asked.

"Yeah, him. He's gotten better. I still beat him, though."

I laughed, rolling my eyes. "Figures."

"I saw Princess Tomoyo, too. She's actually hanging around the area."

Sakura giggled, and Kurogane shot her a glare. I didn't ask.

"What about you three?" I said to the sisters.

"Practicing magic. The twins over here have learned to use elemental powers, which I guess you can do as a spirit." This was Amber speaking.

"It's fun!" Aqua said, smiling.

I glanced at Kunou and Leo.

"Competing," the two said, grinning. I laughed. Those two were so funny.

"Nothing important, really..." Shaoran muttered. I gave him a glare. "I don't believe you."

He sighed. "I've been working with two forest spirits."

"...I might know who you're talking about. A boy and a girl who live by a river and keep the area balanced. They used to grant wishes. It's thanks to them we were able to free you."

"...No wonder they thought they knew me," Shaoran remarked. "I owe them a thank you."

"...Hey, I think they also gave me a feather, too...Sakura left before I gave it to her..."

"What happened to it?" Sakura queried, seeming a bit uncertain.

"...I don't know. Maybe it's floating around Silver River, just waiting to be found...whatever powers it held are gone now..." I smiled. "I'd like to think someone who's going through hard times will find it and feel consoled, somehow..."

Everyone fell silent, and I noticed Fai, Shaoran, and Mokona were smiling. The thoughtful quiet was interupted by the sound of Aqua sniggering, trying to cover her amusement at a specific memory and failing miserably.

"I want a taco," Aqua giggled. All of us who got the joke laughed. Those who didn't stared sort of blankly.

"Long story short, it's how we re-entered Silver River. As for me, I've been talking to Ming. I'm considering helping the little creature with its job," Fai announced.

"I'm not sure whether to find that cool or feel bad for you," I muttered. He shrugged.

"I offered." I nodded.

"What about before you died?" Sakura questioned. "I mean, in more detail, I guess..."

"We can sum up our lives by saying Aqua and Jade became a famous band, Syaoran became a well known author, Amber and I became magicians, Leo and Kunou became much needed therapists, and we all got drunk a freaking lot!" Fai summed up. The group doubled over laughing.

"I even bombed Tokyo," I put in quietly, and both of the Mokona's fell out of the tree laughing.

"Wait...what did Shaoran do?" Sakura asked, glancing at him. He mumbled something so quietly that no one heard him. I gave him a look. "There's nothing to be embarassed about. After all, becoming a traveler is perfect for someone who's been in a capsule for a long time. You and Jade had a short relationship. You had fun, we kept in contact."

"Not enough," he sighed. He must've been keeping that serious regret inside of him for a long time, anyone could tell from the tone in his voice. It made me sad, too. We'd grown apart after some time, I guess. I shrugged. "I was hoping we could exchange more e-mails, but it's OK. As long as you had the time of your life." He nodded. "I did." With that all said, I turned to face Sakura.

"I was wondering...Kurogane said...you were hearing music, or something, earlier?"

She nodded. "Yeah, you've just got to listen closely enough, maybe you'll hear it, too."

She put a hand on my shoulder. "Come on, follow me."

I glanced back at them. Most of them were hiding their mouths behind their hands. Shaoran, Kurogane, and Fai were all nodding their approval.

"Lead the way," I said.

We weaved our way through a lot of trees and stopped at a clearing. It was a different clearing then where I'd found her before. The grass was a lot greener, it was a lot wider, and it was surrounded by mist, which provided an eerie touch that I sort of liked.

"Trust you to find a place like this," I said, a slight grin on my face. She laughed shyly.

"This is where the music I hear is the loudest. No, I'm not insane."

"I don't believe you are."

She closed her eye and wandered into the field. I stayed silent, trying to pick up the music in question.

Sakura started dancing. I couldn't help but watch. She was good. I felt my heart begin to flutter, and my face turned bright red.

And then I heard what she was dancing to. I can't describe it. It was loud, echoey, meaningful...and Sakura's movement matched it perfectly. Or, maybe that's just how I saw it. She meant the world to me, and if there was anyone who could so something perfectly, it would be her.

I felt her grab my wrist. "Sakura, I don't dance," I muttered, my face turning an even brighter shade of red, if this was even possible.

"I'm pulling you in anyway," she said, laughing playfully as she dragged me into her dance. I hardly moved, because my feet suddenly felt like they were made of lead. But she didn't seem to notice. She did all the movement, she just had me guide it. I didn't mind, because it made her happy, and I was glad to at least be assisting her again.

"Did you fall in love with Aqua?" She asked. "You two looked pretty good together."

"No," I muttered, shaking my head. "There's no one out there better than you." And I believed it, too. She was the friendliest girl I'd ever met. She was likeable, caring, and she actually cared when you spoke to her. I felt like she was much too good for me. But she didn't seem to think so.

"Even if its been over four hundred years?"

"Yes."

"You're the best," she said, stopping to look me in the eyes.

"No, I'm not," I disagreed nervously. She shook her head, and then glanced down at the grass. "I was wondering...if...um..."

"A kiss?" I guessed, cocking my head. "Whatever you wish, princess." I smiled.

She returned the smile. "Call me that again, and I'll slap you."

And then she kissed me. I could hear the others finding the field, stumbling upon this scene, but I really didn't care. I was reunited with all my friends. I was dead, but I couldn't remember being happier. It wouldn't have made a difference to me if the world started to collapse around us; we were all together, and that's all that mattered.

The End

_Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who finished reading through the story, to everyone who reviewed, and to everyone who enjoyed it! I have a question to ask: I've been considering writing this in Fai's point of view. It would clear up the way some of the scenes worked in my mind, and it would reveal some of the things Syaoran heard throughout the story as lies, and go into more detail of skimmed scenes. It would also make my Fai obsessed friend Starsight very happy o0'. Anyway, if you could PM me or review the story with a response to this, that would be great. Again, thanks! =D_


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